Name changed. We got two children, DD8 and DS5, both of us , my DH and I, work full time , never had free child care or any help, moved to a bigger house in the last couple of years, this is relevant.
I am also a people pleaser, so my social compass is totally shrewd, hence this post.
Since we moved houses, we had a family member coming over to stay several times a year which on paper should be ok but in reality I am growing more and more resentful.
Last time this family member came to stay was in July. She stayed for two weeks, to do holiday things and catch up with other members of their family who have plenty of time free. DH and I work and children go to holiday club. So not time off for us.
They want to come over again at the end of August. This year, so far, they've stayed with us 6 weeks. They could stay with other family member but they wont , I suspect they wouldn't get catered the same way. They cooked once when he/she stayed last time. The time before they looked after our children one evening. I don't like asking for help so I end up exhausted most of the time , my fault. I feel my energy should be aimed towards my children and I feel guilty that they are not getting my full attention if that makes sense. Guest is polite enough but our standards around house keeping are different, for instance if I drink a coffee I 'll take my mug to the kitchen I don't just leave it ( for two days).
My DS behaviour is all over the place, currently trying to asses if he's on autistic / ADHD spectrum. I am really worried.
Please share thoughts on how to address this with member of family and DH.