Do you judge parents with toddlers on reins?

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You ARE being unreasonable = no
You AREN'T being unreasonable = yes

(Personally I use reins in crowds, but my husband reckons most people judge us. I'm interested to see.)

Toddlers - no of course not. Anything to keep little children safe, I’ll be using them on both of my toddlers 100%.

A 9 year old as someone said in the comments - yes. I’d keep my thoughts to myself though. Not sure why a 9 year old needs to have reins? I wasn’t even aware they made them for bigger kids

What on earth? Huh? Why would anybody judge reins? Sorry, but what a d##khead

Another one here who judges positively. I've used them on both my DC to keep them safe near roads etc while they are learning hand-holding, road safety etc.

Very sensible to use reigns. I used them on my two, keeps them safe so why not? (I do judge parents when their babies/toddlers have dummies/pacifiers though 😐)

Reins must be so much more comfortable for a child. Imagine having to walk along with your arm up in the air all the time, hand grasped by someone much taller. My older one definitely needed reins. He was so interested in things, he'd just dash off to look at something. Younger one didn't need reins for as long. He was always good at assessing risk, even when small.

@BellePeppa interesting, why is that?

DD never had a dummy but DS was in NICU for 6 weeks. As he was in an incubator and wasn’t allowed to be picked up because of certain issues he has, he was given a dummy by one of the nurses. He still uses that dummy now at 3 months old. Quite a few of my NICU mum friend’s also use dummies for their prem babies as it was recommended by the SALT team to help their sucking technique.

It’s understandable if you see a 4/5 year old with a dummy, but an actual baby? I can’t see what’s wrong with that

i typed yanbu by accident because my brains not working, sorry. I dont judge because I used them myself. The safety of my toddlers mattered far more to me than what other people think.

A bit. But mainly because I’ve grown up to think that way - I am more open minded about it now. My mum is from a European country where reins are just not a thing, and when we visited my Dad’s side of the family in the UK we would see kids on reins everywhere and she was very ‘WTF?’ about it. Basically ‘children have hands you can hold! Why are they being put leashes like dogs?’ It was just completely alien to her. She would talk about it with my aunts and grandma back home and they’d all laugh and think British people are ridiculous.
I think reins are less prevalent now than they were then. I think they are incredibly useful if you have a child with SEN. But I have to say, on the whole, deep down I am still with my mum on this one. Kids abroad are taught how to walk holding a hand and don’t regularly just bolt off randomly on a whim. I don’t know why British kids are any different. I live in the UK now, I have 2 children, I haven’t used reins for either. I’m expecting another and am now tempted to get some for when my mum visits as a joke to see how she’d react 😂

Re the pp who judges use of dummies, my twins had reflux and I had pnd and possibly would have thrown myself off a cliff if it werent for my use of dummies, but, hey, judge away! Couldn't care less.

I had twins and had to walk the dog and potentially carry a bag of shopping back, so didn't necessarily have a free hand!

A 9 year old as someone said in the comments - yes. I’d keep my thoughts to myself though. Not sure why a 9 year old needs to have reins? I wasn’t even aware they made them for bigger kids

This I wouldn’t judge at all. I would immediately assume there were some additional needs involved.

In general, no, I assume they have their reasons.

I did once see a toddler on reins in the sandpit, at a playground, his dad (I assume) occasionally jerked the lead and moved him around. The kid seemed perfectly well behaved and the whole thing just made me feel really uncomfortable.

You give the verbal feedback whilst they're wearing the reins?! It's not like having a dog on an extending lead! I looped the reins over my wrist fairly slackly, got DD to hold hands or buggy, did all the explanations, stopping at the curb, looking for traffic etc. The reins only come into play as a sort of second line of defence if they're about to dart off, throw themselves into traffic etc as it's so easy for a tiny hand to slip from your grasp or for your attention to be elsewhere for a second.

Yes, if they are nowhere near a road/open water etc, I can see why some parents need them in some situations to keep their children safe but some over use. I friend used her's on a soft grassy field to stop her son falling over when he was learning to walk confidently - falling is part of the learning. She also considered buying him a helmet to wear around the house in case he tripped (no additional needs).

I absolutely do judge parents with children on reins. I judge them as sensible parents who want to keep their child safe. (and not annoy other people)

this...and you have to hold a child's hand firmly if its to stop them absconding

I’m retired now, but I still remember the distraught parents sitting by the bed of their brain damaged, blinded and multiple fractured toddler son in my ITU when I was a registrar in critical care.
He had been holding his mother’s hand walking on the street, spotted a friend on the other side, and without warning yanked his hand free and ran across - straight into the path of an oncoming car.
I bought reins as soon as my own two DDs could walk.

We had reins for DS. A friend of DH's was very vocal in his disapproval saying Das would look "stupid". DH just replied he'd look even more "stupid" under a double decker bus.

"A 9 year old as someone said in the comments - yes. I’d keep my thoughts to myself though. Not sure why a 9 year old needs to have reins? I wasn’t even aware they made them for bigger kids"

Well obviously it will be due to disability. My teenager still doesn't understand that if you walk in front of car you will get hurt.

Yeah good point, it was mentioned in the comments so I didn’t even think of that

• wasn’t

Kids abroad are taught how to walk holding a hand and don’t regularly just bolt off randomly on a whim

I think they probably do, but you just know to hold their hands really tightly! Kids are kids, British kids aren't any different, despite the tendency on MN to say that everyone and everything overseas is better.

That said I did notice when I was in Germany that if kids fall over they just get up, whereas in the UK there are invariably tears, so that must be learnt behaviour. But running away isn't.

DD would definitely have been hit by a car on at least one occasion if she'd not been on reins. Right in front of me. She just wrenched her hand out of mine & bolted, mid tantrum, right in front of a car. Thankfully I yanked her back, the driver swerved & slammed the brakes on. It was still really close.

No

I haven’t used reins myself - I keep hearing about using them for road safety but I haven’t really seen this.

I’ve mainly seen them when people are pottering around in parks or when we’ve been to a zoo and yes, even for a walk around our local woods. They are quite loose and long and I guess the idea is to give a bit of free rein - no pun intended - while still being able to shimmy them along. It’s more of a hand extension of you like?

Around town along the roads or on the high street where is live children are either walking holding hands or in a buggy. If you are walking along a road, quite a fair distance, and you’re worried they might bolt, but you have them on a rein as opposed to holding their hand, are you holding the rein so short and tight at all times that they can’t reach past the pavement?