Do you judge parents with toddlers on reins?

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You ARE being unreasonable = no
You AREN'T being unreasonable = yes

(Personally I use reins in crowds, but my husband reckons most people judge us. I'm interested to see.)

Ha ha! Very good :)

Only positively.

My SIL was appalled that we used reins when we were out somewhere that we thought warranted them (by a busy road, near a drop into water), and told us it was a terrible thing to do.

It was only a couple of months later that her toddler ran out and was knocked down in the road. Nothing life-changing fortunately, but a broken leg and a lot of bruising.

I’ve no idea if this changed their mind on how bad our parenting was.

But it possible to talk to a child, call them back, set them boundaries etc while they are on reigns. In the same way as I spoke to him about stopping and looking both ways to cross the road from him still being in the pushchair. I used reigns where appropriate and gave freedom where appropriate. When on reigns I didn't ignore him, drag him along, never hold hands etc. I used reigns as a way a keep a toddler with loads of energy and a tendancy to bolt safe while I taught him how to stay safe/close to me. You probably judged the hell out of me but I don't care.

I’ve just read the post above by frankly frost.

What on earth? Let’s be clear: those of us with bolters know that our 2 or 3 years would have risked serious injury or worse long before they would stand and listen to ‘clear verbal cues’. This type of parenting style only works with biddable kids. It is utterly useless for parents of headstrong runners.

Reins work because they protect children who have not developed the ability to stand still and listen. They won’t be needed for many kids but it all depends on the child’s personality. If your child will not stand at the roadside nicely and listen carefully, use reins.

Not at all!
Some kids run, some don't. I had reins but didn't need them much in the end as my kid hated them so much they stopped bolting & sensibly held my hand just to avoid wearing them!

I really don't get why people judge reins - I'd rather have a tethered toddler than a dead one.

DS2 was (and still is) an incorrigible bolter with no sense of danger whatsoever, and he hasn't grown out of it aged 8. In fact, when he was 6, he ran straight into the side of a car coming out of the school carpark. I felt absolutely horrible for the poor woman driving and couldn't apologise enough.

I'd still have him on reins now, if I could!

I judge people whose children are not on reins.

Unfortunately my son would do the same and he has but I've been lucky. So I would never judge for using reigns.

Not at all, sometimes they're needed. Any parent trying to keep their kids safe is to be applauded.

I had the reins on them, around my wrist and then held their hand. We had the contact and talked about being safe but if, and when, they were distracted and tried to run, in a dangerous place, I could stop them. They were both runners and explorers. If it was safe, I would tuck the reins inside the straps. Worked for us.

It's genuinely not something I've ever given a second thought to, but it certainly wouldn't even occur to me to judge parents for using reins on a toddler. I'd just assume that's what works best for them in terms of making sure their child doesn't get lost in a crowd or suddenly get distracted and run out into the road or something.

This. I don't know why @Franklyfrost thinks it's a lead. It's not, it's a last line of defense.

Presumably she doesn’t understand why cars have airbags when they already have brakes and seatbelts, and surely you can just teach people to be better drivers.

Of course! They clearly have a runner and are taking sensible safety precautions. Well done them.

Sensible parents who want to relax and enjoy being out and about rather than watching a toddler like a hawk. Yes, I judge them to be sensible.

I used to judge a bit, not since I had my own DC 🤣. My toddler is very lively and a fast runner! We also have a baby so I simply can't just run after her in a busy town centre etc. Whatever keeps children safe.

I’m a parent who has mine on reins.... much better than him pulling away although I have to say now I’ve taught stop he listens and walks nicely but in busy places I don’t want him parted from us or getting into danger . I can’t abide parents who let them loose and then get others to parent them...

I don't have a runner (2 year old DS) and I still don't judge! Much better to have your child on reins and keep them safe than the alternative.

No, just as I wouldn’t let my dog off his lead near busy roads, as he might bolt off if he sees another dog or rabbit, I don’t want to risk my child running off if he sees the ice cream van or other random distraction. Yet seeing school age kids in pushchairs - big eye roll. (Cue all the MN excuses)

YABU
Never judge a parent using reigns
I had runners as toddlers
Tried reigns but with three young DCs and a buggy and a stick to walk with it was difficult

Anyone that judges has a Peter Perfect and has no idea

I didn't even know judging someone for it was a thing until I heard it on here. Surely keeping ur child safe shldnt be judged.

To be honest I shld have bought some when she was smaller as she's a runner sometimes 🙈

I use them, but very few others here do.

I'm not particularly tall, but I find walking with my 18 month old, holding her hand, kills my back and pulls her arm when she trips. Especially in the rough tracks and farm yard. So reigns it is.

No. I have a baby (not walking yet) and I already worry about when he's up and about! It would put my mind at ease to have reins.

I judge them positively. Firstly for keeping their children safe and also for whatever magic they have used to get a child to walk with reins and mine both lay flat on the floor screaming whenever I tried it! Mine both had to be strapped into the buggy unless we were in a park until they were 3 as they were bolters. Both very good now at 3.5 and 5 now if that helps!