Do you judge parents with toddlers on reins?

[Strategist]

You ARE being unreasonable = no
You AREN'T being unreasonable = yes

(Personally I use reins in crowds, but my husband reckons most people judge us. I'm interested to see.)

No. Jamea Bulger might still be with us if he'd been on reins?
I used them for my DS who was a runner and he's absolutely fine ! Not harmed him in any way. It just stopped him running off

No because I think mostly it’s a child with SEN or some unusual behavioural issues, or perhaps the parent has perceptual difficulties. Plus it’s none of my business. If I knew for sure that it was a ‘normal’ kid (and it’s difficult thing to know for sure that a kid is ‘normal’ unless you’re the kids carer) then I would judge because teaching your child to stay close and keeping an eye on them is basic parenting.

Yes. I judge them as responsible parents.

It is ludicrous anyone should have to worry about this. They are a safety measure. There's a poor poster here who lost a child who slipped their grip. It is so easy.

I put one of those back backs with a strap on my eldest til he was about 7 when we went on long journeys by train. The experience of getting stuck I. The station barriers with him the other side was bad enough on a 'lead', without it god knows what would have happened

If I ever see people using reins on their dc I think well done them, how very sensible.

Why would anybody think it a bad idea?

No, I'd think the kids were runners and were safe.
I'm thankful that I didn't need them, my DC never bolted for freedom.

how do reigns prevent you from teaching your child to stay close to you?

Yep 👍🏻
I judge them to be responsible parents who have their child's safety as a priority.

I judge the people who make shitty comments about kids on reins.

I would never have let my dog off the lead where he could run into traffic, get distracted, hurt or cause harm to anything else. Because I valued him and knew that no matter how good my training was, there could come a time when he didn't understand, got distracted or I failed to spot the signs and would be unable to stop him getting hurt or killed. He was my dog, he was my responsibility to keep safe from harm.

Why on earth would I take that care with a dog and not with a stroppy two and half year old, who wasn't just at risk of distractions and cars, but had a huge dose of stubbornness and a determination to do exactly the opposite of anything I wanted at random moments Just Because? The dog might not be entirely happy if he wasn't allowed to go bolting off after a rabbit - but he wouldn't hold that grudge all day until I was crossing the road and dared to say 'hold my hand, please'.

My brother was an impulsive bolter with absolutely no sense of danger (no sense, TBH ) and was on reins at nearly 5 (1960s) They seemed to have a resurgence after the tragedy of Jamie Bulger, although have seen them less more recently. Some children need them more than others and I honestly can't see anything wrong with them.

Brother grew up perfectly fine, too.

My daughter was wilful with zero sense of danger who also refused to hold my hand or sit in a buggy past 2 and a half. Reins were basically the only way I had of keeping her from jumping in front of cars.

She has no special needs. Just strong willed!

I probably wouldn't even notice to be honest, but if I did, I wouldn't see anything wrong with it.

I'd be much more likely to judge parents with no control with toddlers running amok and a being danger to themselves and an annoyance to others.

I used reins sporadically on my 3-DC1 not much-was very biddable.
DC2 an absolute flight risk- think Houdini-and they were an absolute godsend walking with both-to keep DC safe.
DC3 a bit as well but more because I was juggling lots versus the flight risk DC2 was.

@Whatsyournameandwheredyoucomefrom
how do reigns prevent you from teaching your child to stay close to you? Confused
…..

Because a child on reigns can stray from the parent until they feel the reigns which is their cue for returning towards the parent. That means that when the child isn’t wearing reigns then they have no internalised cue for returning. A child who is allowed to walk independently will get more practice in because their parent will be giving clear verbal feedback about staying close, stopping at roads, not waking on the edge of the pavement etc. I felt overall it’s safer to have a child who’s learnt those things sooner rather than later but different strokes…

Yes, I judge them as excellent, safety conscious parents. I wish reins were just seen as a standard thing to use on a young child.

It was MrsPresley if I remember correctly.

I often think of her. She's probably saved many lives because of her willingness to share her story on here. She certainly gave me the push to keep DD on reins. DD was a terrifying bolter who would go from nothing to full running without warning.

No! I do judge parents who's children are all over the place and it's pure good luck that they haven't stumbled into the road at the wrong time.

no I judge parents of feral kids though

Thanks to all those posters who consider it sensible to use reins on a 3 year old who would be running into the road otherwise. DS(2) was like this. I did get some funny looks from nursery parents of well behaved girls. Could I care less? No.
Your DH needs to grow a spine. Your child’s safety is more important than what ill informed people think. Same goes for cycle helmets , proper car seats etc.

No. I used them for both my boys who would run off if not. It worries me when I see small children wandering behind parents without reins or hand being held. I can't understand how people can be so relaxed.

I would judge them to be loving and caring parents who know that for their particular child it's the best way to keep them safe. OP why does your husband even care if people are judging the reins (even though I doubt anyone even gives it a second thought) - is he just a really self conscious person?

We used them in airports, train stations, that sort of thing where they could disappear very quickly. We had the backpacks with reins and the children thought they were hilarious and would try and dangle from them. They were also really useful as I used to put a treat, a comic and those fantastic aqua mats in them and that was their ‘hand luggage’

No. I'm surprised we don't see them more often. I remember them being normal when I was growing up in the 90s. I was too lazy to need them but my younger sister was a runner and easily distracted.

Of course I wouldn't judge.
I didn't use them with my 1st born as he was permanently attached to me (shy, sensitive, clingy type)
My 2nd is just about to turn 1 & I know I'll need every safety device possible! He's going to be that toddler that bolts off, jumps off everything & had the most epic tantrums 🤣🙈

Same.