MIL wants alone time with breastfed 3week old baby

[Ck2022]

MIL is annoyed and causing a fuss because she hasn't had alone with my 3week old baby. She hasn't looked after a baby since her youngest over 30 years ago, and even then she had a nanny she palmed her children off to. When she has been with DS all she does is shove her phone in his face to take pictures or facetime family and continually shout his name in his face. She won't change his nappy either.
How can I allow her to have alone time when she cannot feed him (he is BF and she has already had a go at me that he's not on bottles because she wants to feed him), she will not change his nappy and she does not keep him entertained.
AIBU to not give her alone time? I don't mind the odd half hour if I am in the house and DS can have a feed or nappy change if he needs it. But she wants me to leave DS with her for complete alone time.

This wish I had said no. My mil wanted the baby bottle fed and him handed to her all the time I could be dispensed with

Bollocks to that. Creepy and inappropriate.

She's weird

I’m a MIL (mother of sons) and I would never expect ‘alone time’ with my grandchildren. In time if it helps I’m always delighted to have them but only when asked.
Your child, your rules; end of!
Explain why this is unworkable, if she argues tell her firmly but kindly that the subject is not up for discussion. If she asks again tell her that you’ve already discussed this and refuse to engage. However be kind and see if you can allow short spells of time for her to look after her grandchild while you’re around. Maybe she hasn’t adjusted yet to her place In the family and is perhaps anxious because she’s the paternal grandmother.

I know @FizzyTango my DM/DP didn’t do this exact thing but they did behave and DM often DF occasionally behave a bit mental in the context of their DGC. It’s damaged our relationship irrecoverably. They had 0 form for being this odd previously.

What a weirdo. Tell her to sling her hook and don’t listen to a word she has to say about breastfeeding. I’d go as low contact as possible with someone like that.

I've experienced the same thing and would, as other posters have already pointed out, not leave the baby with her while you nap/take a bath/go for a walk.

First off, it's not your responsibility to make her feel included with a baby that young. You are still recovering and baby needs you.

Also, with a MIL that unreasonable, she would take any alone time but still ask for more, she wouldn't be satisfied with an hour, two hours, not four hours...my MIL got my baby for 4 hours while I sat in another room(I was basically bullied to do that) yet she became increasingly hostile towards me and would refuse to give my baby back to feed. She started to call me names, such as obsessed, not normal, mentally ill, jealous of her. She asked my husband for her to be called mommy and for me to be called something else. Later she let slip that she expected to have my baby sleep the night in bed with her. The crazy went on until I was forced to cut her off completely.

Simply tell her "no thank you" and don't discuss it any further. Don't let her run off with your baby and tell your husband to shut down any comments that are made to him. Good luck op!

*clickychicky
The fact she is insisting for it so much would make me wonder what she's going to get up to. Is she going to cut his hair or something. All very strange.
*
NannaNelly
I doubt it very much.
Don't see why not, I've read some odd things on here.

clickychicky I think your on to something there.

There are some strange women out there,
She quite possibly wants to be the 1st to give him some baby rice/dress the baby in clothes she's brought him/put baby in the 'nursery' at her house/1st haircut..

Nothing would surprise me these days.