MIL wants alone time with breastfed 3week old baby

[Ck2022]

MIL is annoyed and causing a fuss because she hasn't had alone with my 3week old baby. She hasn't looked after a baby since her youngest over 30 years ago, and even then she had a nanny she palmed her children off to. When she has been with DS all she does is shove her phone in his face to take pictures or facetime family and continually shout his name in his face. She won't change his nappy either.
How can I allow her to have alone time when she cannot feed him (he is BF and she has already had a go at me that he's not on bottles because she wants to feed him), she will not change his nappy and she does not keep him entertained.
AIBU to not give her alone time? I don't mind the odd half hour if I am in the house and DS can have a feed or nappy change if he needs it. But she wants me to leave DS with her for complete alone time.

Absolutely fucking not. What a weirdo. I wouldn't trust her just for asking something this ridiculous.

Where is your husband in all this. Tell him to help her wind her neck in.

Tell her when you've stopped BF'ing and she's proven she can change a nappy, you'll consider her request on the basis she can supervise him alone for 5 mins in your home whilst you get a quick shower....

Or just smile and say stop being a fuckwit.

No, stand your ground

Tell her, on no uncertain terms, that you will let her know if and when you are ready for her to have the baby alone, but it won't be anytime soon, so she should stop bringing it up as that will have the opposite effect of speeding things along.

She sounds like an absolute nightmare.

Just unbelievable.

Tell you husband to sort her out or you will be off to visit family for an extended stay.

No way at 3 weeks! You decide when you feel confortable. She sounds imterfering

You need to tell her No. No alone time until you are ready which will be a long time yet.
If she does not take No for a answer then your DH needs to tell her the same.
If shebwont take his no for an answer then she is nit allowed to visit unless DH is present at all, and he corrects her EVERY time.
If this continues fornmore than a visit or two then stop the visits.

She needs consequences for her repeated actions, not given what she wants at your baby/ your expense.

So she wants alone time but is not prepared to change a nappy. She can jog on.

I’m a MIL and a grandma and the only ‘alone time’ with grandma should be whilst you have a lovely long bath or snooze- but if she won’t change a nappy I’m not sure how that would work ?

This ‘alone time’ thing is bizarre, never came across it in my family thankfully.

It’s your baby, just say you’ll be EBF for the first 6 months so she’ll have to wait till then 😀

She can get lost.

Next time she asks say “no, why do you need alone time with him? He’s not a toy that everyone needs a turn of”.

Keep pointing out to her that her behaviour is weird.

Bahahahaha.

No.

And let your partner tell her that.

At 3 weeks? Out of the question! Have you asked her why this is bugging her? Thankfully my ex MIL never asked, but It would have unsettled me if she had. Stand your ground and ask DH to support you.

Wow, so many responses so quickly! Thank you!
MIL is always has been difficult to handle and very opinionated / interfering. Myself and DH tend to just leave her to rant, but now it's concerning DS I think things will have to change. FIL has spoken to DH about how much she has been complaining about not having this alone time and it is starting to annoying him.
And when I say entertaining a newborn I mean keeping him happy during awake periods. I know this isn't easy at this age but we tend to sing to him or use sensory toys. MIL just sits with him shouting his name in his face.
Thank you again for all the responses!
I'm an anxious first time mum who had a long journey to even get pregnant.

Nope, nope, nope. You put her firmly in her place on this. She had no right to ask this of you. Get your dp to tell her back the hell of you.

Pleasantly surprised at these responses. Threads like this are usually full of posters slating the OP, calling her precious and how lucky she is that her mil gives a crap and wants to be a good grandmother, and to just wait til they become a toddler and you'll be begging her to take them for a few hours...

I don't understand the obsession with taking a newborn away from their mother. There will be plenty of time for babysitting and days out when the child is older. 3 weeks old is ridiculous. I hope your partner is supportive of you and is shutting his mother down. If she isn't supportive of breastfeeding and wouldn't even change a nappy I wouldn't even trust her with the baby while you take a 5 minute shower. Would she just leave the baby in a dirty nappy all day? What about when they are a toddler and need help to go to the toilet? A hard no from me. No unsupervised visits and a maximum of 1 visit a week for a couple of hours (or however much time you feel comfortable)

Say no and keep saying no!

I know people like feeding babies their bottles but she needs to accept your breastfeeding.

She wants all the nice with none of the nasty (nappy changing or actual care)

It would be great for you to come over to our house sometime soon and take care of the baby whilst I shower, have a sleep, read a book. Then I can feed the baby as needed, but you'll be really helping me out. End of topic.

Put your foot down now - it can only get worse

Not another pushy MIL? What is it with these people?

Tell her to go forth and multiply - I speak as a MIL myself.

You're gonna have to bite the bullet and just say no and say it clearly and then stick to your guns.

She comes to the house and you can have a nap, a bath, get some things done.

Nope! At 3 weeks old, especially with a breastfed baby, all he needs is mum.

This is about fulfilling some need in her and it's totally out of order.

If she wants to spend time with you both that's one thing but to want to take a 3 week old baby away from his mummy is totally batty.

Just keep saying no.

What does she plan on doing of he needs a feed or nappy change while she's having her "alone time"?