Refusing to pay back my "friends " mum money I owe aibu?

[bradtit]

6 months ago I borrowed a friend £300 and they promised to pay me back.
I didn't pressure them and mentioned it after 5 months ..to be told "I can't right now"
This person now has plenty of money(I won't go into detail how but she does)
She said she would give me them on her pay day (28th )
Pay day came and went and she didn't give me a penny and said she would have to take it from the kids school uniform money and did I want her to do it.
Whilst the day before uploading pics of new trainers she bought herself and designer glasses.

We bought concert tickets and she put them on her mums credit card £100 in June.
I said great il pay on my pay day.
My pay day came and she asked for the £100
I was fuming and said "just take it out of the £300 you owe me and just give me £200

All hell broke loose calling me a thief and told her mum I was refusing to pay her
Writing all over Facebook how you can't trust anyone blah blah

Aibu ?

I've never heard borrowed swapped with lend before, is it linked to a particular region or used across a few?

OP if it were me I'd pay the mum back directly and chase the "friend" for the £300 separately. I'd be sorely tempted to reply to the Facebook messages too, outlining that you only suggested it came off the £300 your friend is X months late repaying.

I don't think you owe her or her mum anything. You didn't borrow money from her mum, right? Your agreement was with your friend. Your friend was getting tickets and you agreed to pay your share to your friend. I don't think the mum has anything to do with it.

You shouldn't have said you'd pay for your ticket as you never had any intention of doing so. You're in the wrong there, but that doesn't mean you need to hand over any money.

I wouldn't be giving her any more money. I'd tell her to keep the ticket. You aren't friends and you're never going to see your 300 quid. Best outcome, you never have to deal with her again.

“I wouldn't give it her. Unless you dealt with her mum directly it's her problem.”

^I agree. OPs friend chose to use her mums credit card. The agreement was with the friend and not the mum.

I would agree with the PP who said to respond publicly with "I want to pay your mum back but I can't afford to until I get the £300 I loaned you in March"

Yep, I'd go with that too.

bahahaha that's second person who corrected her and that happened to, karma :p

Even if you do pay the £100 you realise you won’t ever see that ticket ever again

This would be my worry to be honest. I suppose you could just say ‘okay I don’t want my ticket then, I’ll buy my own since you have trouble paying me back and I don’t want to get into money tangled with you again. Please just get a refund or sell it on.’ Then your mind is clear and you can still attend the concert if you want to.

Sounds like the 'friend' is a financial disaster, cadging money from friends and family all over the place.

I would pay the money back and take her to small claims court. You have evidence that she acknowledges she owes you. She will also have to lay costs.

I agree with pp say that you want to pay her but moneys tight until you get the 300 back.

Also agree with the replying to the FB post or wherever she publicly posted it saying "I want to pay your mother back but I can't until you pay me back that £300 I lent you in March"

All of you STFU about the grammar, you know exactly what the OP meant.

OP - I understand why you thought your friend could just take your £100 of the £300 she owed you (logically it made sense) but if she said that it was her mum's then you'd just have to believe her. I worry she may never pay you back now so you're down by £200 :(

Next time don't lend friends any money.

One of my clients owes me £120.

Never. Going. To. See .It

I actually disagree - you're going to lose this friendship anyway. Don't give her the £100 for the ticket, sod her. Or you'll be £400 out of pocket.

Just tell her to do one.

So do you say “I lent her..” when you borrow money then? No wonder no-one’s paying anyone back…

Contact her mum and offer to pay the £100 directly to the mum. Explain why.

You don't have to be Einstein to figure out the context...

Don't give her a penny! Your agreement was not with her mother - that was between them. If you pay her you are going to end up with no ticket and £400 down! You haven't actually got the ticket in your possession...

Well personally I just take it straight to the Small Claims Court it sounds like you’ve been quite patient enough as long as you’ve got evidence that the money is owed you can get a CCJ a and if necessary you can order it to be taken out of her wages directly. Time is of the essence get on with it.

Yes, the meaning is entirely obvious from the op

I had to read the first sentence a few times to make sense of it- the thread title is that o/p owes money and then the first sentence is they borrowed money. I thought it was a typo that that borrowed money “from” a friend…then the rest of the post didn’t make sense to I had to go back and reread.

o/p, go see your friends mum. Clarify if you do actually owe her rather than your friend. The mum may help her see sense, and at least will understand her dd owes
money.

This is such a messy situation

OP I need to ask if you really want to be friends with someone who writes indirect statuses about people on their social media and doesn’t pay you £300 that you borrowed / lent them. Do you really want to go to a concert with this person?

How old are you both?

I kind of do not blame you for not wanting to pay the £100 back and telling your friend to take it out of the £300 she owes you

Personally I wouldn’t pay the £100 and would tell your friend she can have the ticket back

I’d probably send a text similar to
“Because you’re my friend and was in need I lent you £300 that you said you’d pay me back. It’s now been months and still no sign of the money - I assume you have no intention to pay me back? The fact you’re now writing statuses about me shows you’re not a true friend. Keep the concert ticket and I expect £200 in my bank by 1st October”

She probably won’t pay you the £200 but I’d cut my losses and cut her off

This is what I would do.

Pay the mother the £100 you owe her.

Tell the mother that her daughter owes you £300 and that her daughter is badmouthing you all over social media while also posting images of her new purchases, all while you wait for the £300 to be repaid.

The the mother that you've cleared your debt with her and that now you will be taking to social media to respond to her daughter's posts about you and about the £300!

Give your 'friend' 7 days to pay up the £300 (how she gets the money to do that is none of your business) or you will take her to the Small Claims Court and then do that.

The saying "Neither a borrower nor a lender be" is very apt here. Unless you can write off an amount of money, don't lend it out to anyone!

You did good. Now you you need to work out how to get back the other £200.

Her mum doesn't owe you money and if it's on her credit card you can't just decide to not pay her.
I would contact her mum and pay it directly to her.

I'd also reply to her FB posts that she owes you £300 quid she's refusing to pay you back and people in glass houses..

I understood the OP perfectly.

I even spotted that the use of borrow in the first line would cause the thread to be derailed by snide comments from the grammar police and all the faux 'I'm terribly sorry I can't understand what you mean, did you borrow or lend the money' confusion.

Borrowed swapped for lent is not region, it is just wrong!

Anyway - resolve the situation by going to see her MUM and asking if you can bank transfer the 100 quid onto mums credit card, as no actual cash changed hands, that'll be perfectly acceptable.

Of course if it wasn't her mums credit card, if her mum knows nowt or even if her mum thinks you'll hand over cash she can pass back to her... there will be endless complications and drama and you can again say 'well if it is easier, then take it out of what you owe me, you have had three months to repay it after all...'

Then if her mum IS risking credit card interest charges, thats sorted and if she isn't, great!

I wouldn't pay back anything. Just tell your friend to get the £300, give £100 to her Mum and £200 to you.