Page 13 | Refusing to pay back my "friends " mum money I owe aibu?

bradtit · 2022-08-10T13:32:58+00:00

6 months ago I borrowed a friend £300 and they promised to pay me back. I didn't pressure them and mentioned it after 5 months ..to be told "I can't right now" This person now has plenty of money(I won't go into detail how but she does) She said she would give me them on her pay day (28th ) Pay day came and went and she didn't give me a penny and said she would have to take it from the kids school uniform money and did I want her to do it. Whilst the day before uploading pics of new trainers she bought herself and designer glasses. We bought concert tickets and she put them on her mums credit card £100 in June. I said great il pay on my pay day. My pay day came and she asked for the £100 I was fuming and said "just take it out of the £300 you owe me and just give me £200 All hell broke loose calling me a thief and told her mum I was refusing to pay her Writing all over Facebook how you can't trust anyone blah blah Aibu ?

Frances0911 · 12/08/2022 00:35

Contact her mum, explaining that her daughter owes you £300, and that she will be repaying the £100 directly to her mum on your behalf, out of the £300 she owes you. Then tell your friend as it's unlikely she's ever going to pay you back the remaining £200 to count herself lucky. Then have nothing more to do with her.

Flippingnora100 · 12/08/2022 03:40

If your friend has used her mum’s card, she’s borrowed money from her too. That’s not your problem. She can pay her mum back out of the money she owes you. You don’t need to give the mum anything. She does.

I would give her the ticket back, not go to the concert with her and cut your losses. She’s not a friend.

Slv199 · 12/08/2022 07:00

Never a borrower nor a lender be. That's good advice. I lent someone money for food during lockdown. She kept 'borrowing' more, but I know I'll never see it again. I couldn't not give her the money though.

RealityTV · 12/08/2022 07:15

@bradtit, her using her mother's credit card is not your concern. She paid for the tickets, but she owes you money still! If I were you, I would tell her that while you understand that she used her mother's credit card, she STILL owes you 200! She can either pay you your 300 and you will give her back 100. Or she can just give you the 200. Which will it be? I would phrase it just like that. If she refuses to give you the money, I would sue her in small claims court! Don't tell her what you intend to do, but I would 100% get her to admit via text messages that she owes you the 300. Then I would take that to small claim's court and sue her. She will likely counter to try to get the 100, but I would be OK with that. Then, going forward, I wouldn't deal with her. You've learned a valuable lesson, which is don't lend people money without a written contract! The funny thing is that you loaned that money to her and you didn't publicize the fact that she owes you money back, but she screamed to high heaven when you refused to pay her! LOL! People!

Mississipi71 · 12/08/2022 07:39

It is a good idea about starting a small claims. Even if it just spooks her to get the letter from the court. She has not given a damp about your feelings.

007Stocko · 12/08/2022 08:21

I've not read all 13 pages of posts, so apologies. Your 'friend' is very much in the wrong for not paying you back as agreed, lesson learnt never to loan her money again.

The fact that she has posted online about all the new stuff she has bought - you need to challenge her about it. You pay your debts first, not by none essential stuff. And if it was essential that she have some trainers etc then she gets cheap ones.

In terms of the £100 from her mom - your contract, by the sounds of it, was with the friend. The fact that she then uses her moms credit card to buy the tickets is not your concern. It is fair to ask her to deduct the money from what she owes you but that should have been clear up front. In terms of her subsequent bad mouthing on Facebook, you must reply to those comments with facts, but not a slanging match.

Not sounding much like a friend worth keeping to be honest, but that is your choice.

Weebleonaworkout · 12/08/2022 08:35

Oh and if you do pay mum back, get her to sign a receipt "£100 received for ticket.
......... signed
Dated ..../....../...."
At least if you do go to small claims you can prove your good intentions.

CatsandFish · 12/08/2022 08:55

Don't pay it. You will be ENABLING her cheeky fuckery and she will NEVER pay you back. Tell her she is the thief and you know she has money and she stole from you and you want your money back.

Nothingfree · 12/08/2022 09:09

You did right OP hopefully you have taught her a lesson, forget the cash and ditch the friend. No friend would do that to you.

Notanotherwindow · 12/08/2022 09:44

If you pm me your address I could sent you a workbook my son uses. It’s to help him with contextual reading. He’s 8 years old but if you get a friend to help you I’m sure you could read up to his level.

Perhaps you ought to use it before you make nasty comments. The pp is correct, Borrowed is the wrong word and changes the meaning of the sentence. Borrowed in the context of this post means the OP is the recipient. Lent is correct English.

Petlover9 · 12/08/2022 10:08

10HailMarys · 10/08/2022 14:44

You both sound like a pair of children.

Very unfair comment. The OP loaned money and so called friend is taking the piss. She should have said "yes" when offered it from the school uniform account. Never loan money you can't afford to lose

StellaGibson2022 · 12/08/2022 10:09

I would have dealt with this like you have. I find it odd that others are telling you to pay £100!

I do think your friendship might be over and you probably won’t get your money back.

She sounds like a cheeky cow

Petlover9 · 12/08/2022 10:11

OP - don't pay the £100, you can't be sure it was her mother's card. Cheeky f**ker

bluesapphire48 · 12/08/2022 10:17

Yes, you are being “unreasonable.” You should have found a way to get her to shell out ALL of the £300 she owes you. Looks like you will have to settle for the £100 and the blackening of your good name to boot.

This is truly the Friend from Hell (or leave out the”r” and just call her the Fiend from Hell). She certainly deserves £200 worth of Bad Press from YOU, because you can expect that you aren’t going to see any more of what this harpy owes you. “You can’t squeeze blood from a turnip.”

Actually, she’s more like a rotten tomato it seems to me. Certainly wouldn’t hurt you to toss a few in her direction! She’s definitely a “piece of work” as we say in the States.

oopsfellover · 12/08/2022 10:31

’I’ll be able to pay back the £100 when you’ve paid back what you owe me’ sounds like a fair response. Or could you try to have a direct talk with her about paying you in agreed instalments? Maybe you have though and it’s not worked.
I wouldn’t want to go to a concert with her after her reaction and social media posts. That’s for sure

AnotherAnxiousMess · 12/08/2022 10:50

I leant £300 to a “friend” once too, who was struggling to pay bills. After a year went by, I accepted I wasn’t ever going to get it back and learnt a strong lesson to NEVER lend money to friends. In your situation, I would pay the £100 directly to the mum and explain the situation. I’d then go back to your friend and say this really isn’t on, at least set up a direct debit so she’s paying you £50 back a month until it’s all payed back. But doubt she’ll accept that. You’re just gonna have to think, lesson learnt, and cut ties.

Kanaloa · 12/08/2022 11:30

Notanotherwindow · 12/08/2022 09:44

If you pm me your address I could sent you a workbook my son uses. It’s to help him with contextual reading. He’s 8 years old but if you get a friend to help you I’m sure you could read up to his level.

Perhaps you ought to use it before you make nasty comments. The pp is correct, Borrowed is the wrong word and changes the meaning of the sentence. Borrowed in the context of this post means the OP is the recipient. Lent is correct English.

@Notanotherwindow

It’s a workbook, so you don’t read it, you work on it/write in it. And my comment was responding to the poster who innocently explained they couldn’t understand any of the post. Even if one word isn’t grammatically correct, a NT adult with normal comprehension skills should have a good enough grasp of contextual reading that they could understand from the op what the situation is. I mean, many of us managed to understand that the op is owed money by a friend.

Willitwork999 · 12/08/2022 11:40

I would chat to her mum. If mum did pay from her card i would give her the£100 direct.
I probably would, although its nothing to do with her, mention that 'i thought she would pay you out of the 300 she owes me!' 🤔

Londoner01011 · 12/08/2022 12:34

It's not fair - to you or her mum. Her mum doesn't owe you the money, she does. You have put yourself in the wrong by involving her Mum. Pay her Mum but explain, and shame her via her mum into paying you.

KarenandFour · 12/08/2022 14:18

Don’t pay her . I can’t imagine you even want to go now anyway! Write off the £300 and delete her from your life

SheSaidHummingbird · 12/08/2022 14:35

@Kanaloa As others have pointed out, the incorrect usage of the word 'borrow' alters the meaning of the statement.

No need to sneer at people who speak English correctly. Would you tell a child learning English at school "not to worry if you don't get the hang of all the rules, those who care about grammar are sad, sanctimonious little dicks?"

Notanotherwindow · 12/08/2022 14:48

It’s a workbook, so you don’t read it, you work on it/write in it. And my comment was responding to the poster who innocently explained they couldn’t understand any of the post. Even if one word isn’t grammatically correct, a NT adult with normal comprehension skills should have a good enough grasp of contextual reading that they could understand from the op what the situation is. I mean, many of us managed to understand that the op is owed money by a friend.

Yet you lack the comprehension skills to notice that I said 'Use' not 'Read.' Those who live in glass houses and all that...

saraclara · 12/08/2022 14:59

People are still going on about the vocabulary? Seriously?

And again, for the naysayers, in the part of the East Midlands where I grew up, 'borrow' instead of 'lent' was a very common. Yes, it's wrong, but it's a feature of the local dialect. I imagine it was a difficult one for teachers to unpick. What kids/adults hear around them every day as part of local dialect, is much more 'sticky' than what a teacher might tell you to change it to.

wellhelloitsme · 12/08/2022 15:11

SheSaidHummingbird · 12/08/2022 14:35

@Kanaloa As others have pointed out, the incorrect usage of the word 'borrow' alters the meaning of the statement.

No need to sneer at people who speak English correctly. Would you tell a child learning English at school "not to worry if you don't get the hang of all the rules, those who care about grammar are sad, sanctimonious little dicks?"

Yes of course it changes the meaning of the statement in isolation, but the rest of the post made the meaning absolutely clear so there was no need for posters to keep pointing it out, was there? Especially those that did so in faux confusion. It was very clear what happened to anyone who read the first post in full.

Pumperthepumper · 12/08/2022 15:31

SheSaidHummingbird · 12/08/2022 14:35

@Kanaloa As others have pointed out, the incorrect usage of the word 'borrow' alters the meaning of the statement.

No need to sneer at people who speak English correctly. Would you tell a child learning English at school "not to worry if you don't get the hang of all the rules, those who care about grammar are sad, sanctimonious little dicks?"

Your question mark should be after the speech marks here. Shame you can’t write in English as well as you claim to speak it.