Do beautiful women realize that ugly women are treated very differently?

[UglyNameChange]

My friend (who is very beautiful) got into a relationship not so long ago and said how she hopes I’ll be soon in one too - she knows I’d like a relationship also.
Well, few days ago she was telling me to just go to a bar and get chatted up with men, it won’t be long etc. and I’d just had to laugh, and asked her does she remember any man to ever have done that before and why would is sudenly have changed.
I think I accidentally made things akward because she went really quiet.
She pretty much can go anywhere and men will start up conversation or get asked out.

And this made me think if she genuinely thought we all have the same opportunities?

This.

Yes, I'm the same way and it took me decades to find any kind of peace with the way I look and even behave as a quite androgynous presenting woman. Not because I have poor self esteem or self image, but because of the ways I was constantly told (implicitly and explicitly)that I was 'wrong' for not looking a certain way or acting in a manner more girly or purportedly more feminine.

My stance is that women can be women in whatever way they choose, and it's noone's place to judge. Men are allowed their preferences, of course, but a man's preference isn't going to rule my life and I don't give a s* about makeup, doing my hair or any of that stuff. Thankfully I'm in my 30's now and don't have to pretend!!

Honestly I’ve never met anyone so ugly that they can’t “pull” . This includes some with facial disfigurement. I’ve also often thought some conventionally beautiful women boring and unattractive. Of course there is a stereotype in looks which a man might go for but it’s not the same as sex appeal and the mysterious spark which happens when getting into a relationship. When we review our looks we need to work on what we have not try to make up to some magazine/Film beauty standard. Look at the “Tush” (Rita Tushingham film star in 60s). Don’t think she would have had problems. Self belief and a good personality is very sexy and wins through. Widen your circle and enjoy yourself. Get a good hairdresser, use friends to feed back on what suits you and get out there! Re your friend’s attitude doesn’t it just prove these points rather than be insensitive? It hasn’t occurred to her there’s a problem because there isn’t!

Isn't one persons ugly another's beautiful

"Honestly I’ve never met anyone so ugly that they can’t “pull” ."

Really? You must know that men show disgust for some women.
Yes, if a woman lies in a bed in a brothel and puts up a sign saying free, most of them can 'pull' somebody, but that might be a man asking her to put a bag on her face or something. It's definitely not true that men are attracted to all women.
I remember seeing a video of Susan Boyle doing the ice bucket challenge and the comments were full of teenage boys slagging her off.
I'm sure that dressed up nicely, she could attract a man older than her, but she'd have very little chance of pulling one of those boys in the comments.

Not really. While there are personal tastes, a given culture at a given time will have some commonly agreed beauty standards.

Millie Jackson is a beautiful woman. Her self esteem or lack thereof has nothing to do with it. It doesn’t matter how good someone like Susan Boyle feels about themselves, the overwhelming majority of people will not think they’re attractive.

I think it’s fascinating that so many people on this thread are unwilling to accept this.

I think it’s fascinating that so many people on this thread are unwilling to accept this.

I'm also not convinced that so many beautiful people "never had to develop their personalities", whatever that even means, while plainer people became so much more interesting. That's just feeding into the idea that a person can't be good looking AND personable and I suspect there's a huge amount of personal bias going into the judgement of who's got an intriguing personality and who hasn't.

Plenty of interesting beautiful people and boring plain people.

@ReneBumsWombats Yes, that as well. It’s a very odd narrative that some people seem very wedded to.

I'm sure that being beautiful gives you various advantages even if it does also come with some drawbacks. But is it really true that it means you never, ever, ever have to do anything for yourself?

I read recently that Arthur Miller was "disappointed" after marrying Marilyn Monroe. Perhaps he had in fact hoped that she would have no personality and couldn't handle it when it turned out that she had.

I remember reading research about whether looks did have an impact on your life. All the fairly ordinary-looking people said no. But people at either end of the spectrum said yes and gave clear examples of how.

And I agree Millie Jackson is a beautiful woman who would look beautiful no matter what.

I wrote a really long reply to this that didn’t post and has disappeared, so now I’m in a grump.

@shewhomustbeEbayed

I remember going to a Millie Jackson concert years ago, when she started singing and exuding confidence she seemed more attractive, self esteem can affect how others see you.

This is a strange example. Millie Jackson is an objectively attractive women who is presumably even more attractive once she displays her talent.

But she was already attractive to start with so it's not an example of going from unattractive or plain to attractive.

@Liivee That made me laugh. 😂

This thread made the Daily Fail 🙄

It's five days old!

It's not even that slow a news day. Come on, Ted, at least make them contemporaneous?

This, we all have different struggles but everyone has them.

No one has an easy ride because of there looks, Mrs Plain Jane the middle age woman with 10 years experiance might find it easier to be seen for their intelligence and reliability in general and be liked/respected well at work but may find it harder to get a break from their boss who would rather be letching after the brand new young assistant Miss Tatas R. Biggs.

While it might seem to Jane that Tatas just walked in and instantly got offered the job Jane had worked hard for just because shes young/pretty/sexy whats really happening is Busty is trapped in a job she finacially needs with a creepy boss who puts her down and sexually remarks at her making her uncomfortable everyday at work and she didnt ask for any of it.

Instead of being mad/jealous and blaming Busty saying she has 'pretty privilage' though her and Jane should both team up against Mr Reprobate - both girls are being done dirty in different ways.

There is so much to unpick from this web of nonsense that I’m not even going to try. 😂

This bit was especially tragic: I immediately called her an arrogant spoilt brat to my mates who were busy catcalling

You and your mates sound like real standup guys. Keep your 2c, use it to buy some self awareness.

I still remember the first time I saw her shopping. I immediately called her an arrogant spoilt brat to my mates who were busy catcalling.

Cool story, bro

You must know that men show disgust for some women

Yes of course, but that doesn't mean the woman is ugly, it just means the bloke is ugly minded.

I genuinely don't know many women at all who don't "scrub up well". All of us can look rubbish with unbrushed hair and teeth and unkempt clothes, but that's not ugly, that's ungroomed.

That doesn't mean that some women are very attractive (and men) and it's well known that people who are easy on the eye earn more money, get offered jobs more often etc. But it doesn't mean the rest are ugly, because they're not.

My reading comprehension is fine. My point is that your post was word salad and you sound like awful misogynistic little twits.

And, no, most men do not catcall women. Not even as ‘youngsters’. It’s sexual harassment, not some rite of passage. That’s the sort of grotesque behaviour that has traumatised dozens of previous posters, and you should be ashamed of it. It’s unlikely you are, but you should be.