Do beautiful women realize that ugly women are treated very differently?

[UglyNameChange]

My friend (who is very beautiful) got into a relationship not so long ago and said how she hopes I’ll be soon in one too - she knows I’d like a relationship also.
Well, few days ago she was telling me to just go to a bar and get chatted up with men, it won’t be long etc. and I’d just had to laugh, and asked her does she remember any man to ever have done that before and why would is sudenly have changed.
I think I accidentally made things akward because she went really quiet.
She pretty much can go anywhere and men will start up conversation or get asked out.

And this made me think if she genuinely thought we all have the same opportunities?

Oh yes, had the same experience at school.

And the reverse is also true, you do also see very decent boys/ men that are... I don't know how to describe it, a little bit less outwardly "alpha" in their behaviour, and therefore almost invisible to women, especially during teen/ young adult years? They don't see you as a sexual object either, but also don't suffer from sudden shyness and don't get white-faced and tongue-tied in front of you, and strangely enough, a friendship develops easily I have quite a few good male friends from school / uni.

This is absolutely true.

My beautiful friends have had so many times boys/men do them all kind of favours.
And in their experience most men are lovely and helpfull.
And it’s of course wonderful that that’s their worldview.
But it is indeed a very different story from my side.

I was attractive when I was younger. Not stunningly beautiful, but men certainly found me attractive generally. Clearly there are advantages, which you probably don't quite realise, especially when you are young and a bit naive. However there are downsides too. And you sometimes see the true nature of men in those situations too.

Now I am not quite as attractive (age, weight etc), and I can tell the difference. I am noticed less, looked at less. Less doors are kept open for me, or offers to help me with my lugguage or with work or whatever. But I also feel I am taken far more seriously.

As an average looking person this thread just makes me feel sad. I can see that getting pestered all day by men you're not interested in would be annoying but I can't help thinking how nice it would be to get compliments occasionally, or chatted up, or get bought a drink - just once! It doesn't do wonders for your self esteem if you're never considered good enough. I remember when the "Me too" movement started, it just wasn't something I could really relate to at all.

Yes I’ve been a beautiful women and a very ugly women so I do know. Maybe some aren’t aware but it’s not malicious. How would you be in there shoes? What I will say is that if you look around you women if all shapes, sexes and levels of beauty are in relationships and happy. Obviously there a millions of people out there and they’re not all looking for conventionally stunning people. There would be a chronically declining population and there isn’t is there.
Extreme beauty has little to do with it- all that guarantees is attention and that certainly doesn’t guarantee happiness. But you know all this- you’re not blind. This is definitely more to do with your own self esteem and how you connect to people. That’s not a criticism but more encouragement to take control and responsibility and stop being a wee bit silly.

@ILPMSM This comment is a bit shitty. I had sympathy some with what you were saying until the metoo reference.So women should be grateful for crap and unwanted approaches from men because it can do wonders for their self esteem? Should they be grateful for sexual assult too, because that must mean a man really wants them? It's pretty much the same line of argument lots of men use to justify why they can treat women like pieces of meat.

its a boxing term... boxers punch each other and are in weight catagories so that its 'safer' or 'fair' you wouldnt have a heavyweight against a lightweight.

I didn't say anything like that. The OP said that maybe beautiful women don't realise that ugly women are treated differently. Throughout this thread beautiful women have complained about being constantly sexually harrassed whereas ugly or average women have complained about being ignored or insulted. Of course it isn't just beautiful women who get sexually abused but from this thread it seems like it's more common. The whole "Me Too" movement seemed to assume that everyone is in the same boat which isn't the case at all and does make me suspect that some beautiful women at least do believe it's the same for everyone.

*their

Ugly women get assulted too. And they don't have to be grateful for a come on just because they are ugly.

No less attractive women have complained about having insults shouted by men, mocking, jeering, etc.
The idea that less attractive women are invisible is a myth.
Older normally attractive women can be invisible.
But women seen as ugly are treated badly by men. This is a point nearly every beautiful woman on this thread has ignored.

Do you think it's been ignored? I can definitely agree taht as I have become less attractive physically I have objectively been treated worse on a day to day basis. Most posts on here acknowledge the preferential treatment they have received due to their looks, which acknowledged that less good looking people wouldn't have that.

I think that is a seperate thing to what is also being said, namely that men can also treat good looking women really poorly. Often in different ways.

@Iamnotattractive I'm also tall with broad shoulders, plus skinny. Enjoyed your posts and admire your outlook on things and acceptance on things I can't change. Also, living the username

However, I met up with an old school friend the other day who was surprised that my life as a teenager wasn't all roses because I was "pretty and female". My boyfriend of that time once screamed in my face because a group of boys had a bet going with who could sleep with me first (that I knew nothing about).

I know and have known a great many stunning women - to me and most men too.

But only a few of them you could say had classically beautiful/pretty looks when you look closer.

In nearly all cases it's a mixture of will, confidence, diet, exercise, grooming and sheer self-maintenance but, crucially, to not make it the main thing in life - they just get on with it.

I really don't buy the idea there are pretty and ugly people in the world.

Growing up, I got a lot of male attention. From 15, I was subjected to disgusting predatory men harassing me at work (pub waitress) on holiday (Spanish barmen) and threatened to be raped if I told them no.

I had no female friends really and I had one that would basically lambast me with her jealousy of my face when she got drunk.

When I was single at 25 It really was a nightmare going out. Couldn't go anywhere alone, constantly interrupted by men wanting to chat. It's ridiculous and I wasn't the prettiest person to ever live!

I'm now fatter and older and developed a skin condition during pregnancy that leaves me with many spots. The difference in the way I'm treated is really noticeable. I'm left very much alone now and I have some great female friends. I prefer this life now lol.

Gosh I hear you - I'm reading Catch and Kill by Roman Farrow, about the very long road to finally exposing Harvey Weinstein.

The way attractive women were treated in that industry was shocking. Thank goodness for MeToo.

I'm not beautiful but am a motherland Amanda a bit. I spend a lot of time and money on my appearance and have had several surgeries. I always do my hair and wear make up and would never go over a size 10. I know I get treated better than when I was fat and miserable. Although I don't care what other people do, if you want to have birds nest hair and wear cargo pants to hide a size 16 are (don't by the way, just please dont) you have to appreciate that people have to draw a first impression based on nothing more than the arse and the fuzz. It's up to individuals how others perceive them.

I grew up with an older sister who was a model, I saw all the favours men did for her and how superficial most of them were in just wanting her for arm candy.
She never had to develop her personality or bother with qualifications either.
I am pleased I concentrated on
my qualifications and having a career. I find I am drawn to brainy men.
I remember going to a Millie Jackson concert years ago, when she started singing and exuding confidence she seemed more attractive, self esteem can affect how others see you.

😂😂😂oh Amanda darling you will have to do better than that! It’s 2022 you haven’t listed your outstanding educational achievements. Nor your ability to multi task a CEO job as well as several gifted children. Tut tut

I think I might have the best type of look. 😆 People seem to automatically warm to me and seem to trust me easily. I think it's because Im pleasant looking with a happy 'nice' face rather than fabulously good looking. Im slim but more in a neat and sporty way rather than a'sexy' way. I'm pretty enough to be attractive but not pretty enough to be a threat. I actually think this might be true. 🫤

Obviously I've still come in contact with plenty of creepy men but I've never had the unwanted shite that's been directed at my two adult daughters who are much more conventionally pretty (big boobs, very slim and long hair). I've witnessed them being harassed just walking down the street. It's disgusting.

I never thought I was conventionally beautiful but I have been told I am and have amazing curves. I've been pestered by men my whole life and hated it. Men make certain assumptions about your intelligence, based on the size of my breasts and I hate it.

Amen to this. I was slim with magnificent massive boobs in my teens/20s and my god, I could barely walk down the street without men helpfully pointing out that they were there (thanks fellas, I may not have realized otherwise!) Male colleagues would stare at them, women and men would ask to squeeze them, and my friends hated going out with me because the entire evening would basically consist of grubby blokes pointing at my chest and seemingly ignoring everything else around. Grim. Thankfully my body changed significantly after DC and my breasts now look like the ears of a small, sad spaniel. Men barely glance at me these days (aside from DH) and it’s bliss!

I don’t buy this stuff about beautiful people being at some sort of disadvantage though - in my experience (and from decades of observing friends with all different types of looks), the vast majority of women get copious unwanted shit from men when they’re young, it’s just the the beautiful ones get that PLUS the (numerous) advantages. Given the choice, I’d definitely rather be beautiful than plain (but with small boobs, please!!)

So at 13 it was up to me how others perceived me? When I was harassed walking down the street? Grown men and adolescent boys shouting out sarcastic things and laughing? Saying 'do you think you're stunningly attractive?', then laughing like drains? Telling me in every obnoxious way possible that I was unattractive? Some people on this thread don't know they are born. You have absolutely no idea how hard it is to be an ugly female. Don't try to make out it's my fault.

It's up to individuals how others perceive them.

This really is ever so Amanda from Motherland. Bleurgh.

It's up to individuals how others perceive them.

This is such an amazing way to end that post that I cannot tell if it's self-aware or not.