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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not accommodate Very Important Neighbour's new home office?

739 replies

Knitwit101 · 09/08/2022 14:35

We've lived next door to these neighbours for years. Know each other well enough to say hi, put bins out on holiday, but we're not friends. We've been using our garden in the same way for years. No changes on our side, nothing new.

We've come back from holiday to find neighbour has re-organised his home office and he now sits at a massive (open) window right on the boundary between our gardens. That must have been a spare bedroom before maybe, I don't know. We never saw anyone in it.

I sat outside at our patio table this morning to have a coffee and I could hear every word he said through his open window, could hear every word his colleagues said on their online meetings. He might as well have been sitting at the table with me. Not sure there's much I can do about that, he can use his house however he likes.

Ds10 and his pals are sitting outside at the table trading Pokemom cards. There's 4 of them, they are laughing and chatting but they're not shouting or being silly. And it's a sunny afternoon in the school holidays, they can be outside laughing in the garden if they want to be.

Neighbour has just come to the door to ask me if I can take them inside because he has a full afternoon of work meetings and their noise is distracting him.

I said "what, the whole afternoon? You want them to stay indoors all afternoon?"

He said completely straight-faced "I'll be working till 6.30pm"

I laughed and said "well no, that won't be possible".

At this point he said in a very slow, careful, mansplaining voice just in case I couldn't follow him "I don't think you understand. I have a Very Important Job. These are very important meetings. I negotiate multi-million dollar contracts every day, I need to be able to concentrate."

Seriously? I always though he was a bit of a twat but who talks like this? Who actually says "Very Important" like that? Twice? He has no idea what my job is or how important dh or I might be.

I just said "no, we'll carry on using our garden as we always have. Maybe you could close your window when you're needing to concentrate. And just so you're aware, I can hear you and your colleagues when your window is open, I hope you're not saying anything confidential. I must get on, thanks for doing the bins while we were away" then shut the door.

He's gone, I can hear him on his Very Important Meeting. I could join in, I can hear every word on both sides. I suspect he'll be back, probably when dh is back from work so they can talk man to man.

He's unsettled me though, he was so self-confident when he came to the door, so sure that he would get exactly what he wanted. How do you get that kind of confidence? I wish I had it. Or is it arrogance? He made me think I was in the wrong at first.

We love our garden, we use it all the time. I'm not sure how we'll deal with this one, but I wasn't BU by refusing to bring the kids inside, was I? He's the one who has made the change, not us. I don't think wfh is new for him, he was just somewhere else in his house before I guess. Now he's on top of our patio with his big booming voice. I feel quite sad about it, if he's there all day every day it's going to be awful.

OP posts:
Toadcatcher · 10/08/2022 23:08

I’m sure it has been suggested before - what about investing in noise cancelling headphones? He can afford it?
Unfortunately you would still have to put up with his voice.

Hawkins001 · 10/08/2022 23:13

That is very true. Especially with the new space marines and warhammer decks to be released around Oct/Nov

Abracadabra12345 · 10/08/2022 23:22

LuaDipa · 10/08/2022 11:44

Another one who thinks your response was perfect op.

I will be wfh with my doors open today and fully expect to hear the neighbours enjoying their gardens on a sunny day because I’m not a twat.

I doubt he’ll be back round now he knows you’re not going to be a pushover so don’t worry.

Do you make work calls or have work meetings? I find the wfh trend deeply depressing. I have 3 close neighbours who wfh and although it’s not all day, I am subjected to their booming calls and meetings because the sunshine is endless and patio doors or windows are open. Then there’s one who’s semi retired and he’s making speaker phone calls. In the not so long ago “old days” they’d be in an office and there wouldn’t be good enough mobile signals to take the phone outside. The days of quiet enjoyment of a garden seems a fantasy for anyone with neighbours.

I hate wfh and the impact it’s had on neighbours

Abracadabra12345 · 10/08/2022 23:24

Toadcatcher · 10/08/2022 23:08

I’m sure it has been suggested before - what about investing in noise cancelling headphones? He can afford it?
Unfortunately you would still have to put up with his voice.

Exactly. Which will be loud because people often raise their voices in Zoom meetings

DdraigGoch · 10/08/2022 23:39

I think that this advice could be followed more often:

Archiesnan · 10/08/2022 23:57

This story just popped up on my fb feed - mirror weird news 🙄

Nat6999 · 11/08/2022 00:04

I would invite everyone kid within 5 miles for a recorder practice session in your garden whether they can play or not. Absolute cockwomble.

Hmm1234 · 11/08/2022 00:13

Trouble in suburbia!

HarmlessPotato · 11/08/2022 00:19

I would 100% start mentioning stuff he was talking about in meetings. He'll soon shut window or move rooms. 🤣

sue20 · 11/08/2022 00:24

Mustardbay · 09/08/2022 14:40

I think you need to start some Very Important drum lessons

Brilliant! Yes complete twat. Has he got a poor very unimportant partner by any chance? Its horrible though to be at odds with a neighbour, I hope it doesn't escalate. Stick to your guns. Buy a leaf blower thingy and use regularly.

azlazee1 · 11/08/2022 00:25

You have done nothing wrong. He is ridiculous to think life should change in your home, your yard, just because he works from home.

S0upertrooper · 11/08/2022 00:58

OP is your VIN called Ben? I know of a Ben (in Scotland) who is 'driving' a merger because I overhear him on DH's Teams calls dishing out very important (stating the obvious) advice delivered in a very important and patronising stylee.

Perhaps we could spit roast the meeting by co ordinating very important lawn cutting or strimming?

When very important merger man is holding court on Teams, I can hear DH eye's rolling and adopt a strategy of presenting a paper that states "INTEGRATION WANKER AGAIN?" in bold letters. In 1950s wifey style, i deliver hot, sweet coffee but stop short of mopping his brow with a tepid flannel.

If your VIN is indeed 'our' VIMM (Very Importand Merger Man), you have my sympathy, he is a massive fanny and we are bemused at his self assurance and arrogance.

DM me if I'm on the right track.........

BornBlonde · 11/08/2022 01:00

You handled it brilliantly. He sounds like an eejit who needs to close a window or work in a different room!

StressedOutMumBex · 11/08/2022 01:47

This made me laugh 😂

Ineke · 11/08/2022 01:56

If you had agreed to his request, it wouldn’t have been for just one afternoon would it? Your DS and his friends would be banned from using their garden when ever Mr Important was doing his Very Important shit! What a twat. Well done to you for standing your ground.

4NonBlondes2022 · 11/08/2022 02:48

?

whittingtonmum · 11/08/2022 06:56

We have recently moved and our neighbour is working from the downstairs garden room. I feel bad when the kids are out in my garden playing with friends because I am sure it's disturbing. The previous owner didn't have kids. But there's nothing I can do as I won't stop the kids using the garden - that would be crazy. It's our property. My neighbour is brilliant about it. Only thing was that we were asked to put a note through the door if the ball goes over the fence rather than knock which is totally reasonable. That's how other neighbors handle these situations. The OP's neighbour is something else.

Pugdogmom · 11/08/2022 07:54

I work Hybrid after Lockdown. It's part of WFH life that the rest of the world carries on and don't expect anyone to accommodate me. The only people I tell to STFU are my own family when they decided to carry on a conversation outside my Office Door. 🙄
Wouldn't dream of telling anyone else to be quiet. A fan/ac and noise cancelling headphones sorts most noise out.
During Lockdown, most of my clients laughed when I apologised for my dog wuffing whilst I was on phone ( forgot the headphones as was unexpected call), and helped to break the ice a bit whilst we had a dog discussion.

threatmatrix · 11/08/2022 08:26

Knitwit101 · 09/08/2022 14:35

We've lived next door to these neighbours for years. Know each other well enough to say hi, put bins out on holiday, but we're not friends. We've been using our garden in the same way for years. No changes on our side, nothing new.

We've come back from holiday to find neighbour has re-organised his home office and he now sits at a massive (open) window right on the boundary between our gardens. That must have been a spare bedroom before maybe, I don't know. We never saw anyone in it.

I sat outside at our patio table this morning to have a coffee and I could hear every word he said through his open window, could hear every word his colleagues said on their online meetings. He might as well have been sitting at the table with me. Not sure there's much I can do about that, he can use his house however he likes.

Ds10 and his pals are sitting outside at the table trading Pokemom cards. There's 4 of them, they are laughing and chatting but they're not shouting or being silly. And it's a sunny afternoon in the school holidays, they can be outside laughing in the garden if they want to be.

Neighbour has just come to the door to ask me if I can take them inside because he has a full afternoon of work meetings and their noise is distracting him.

I said "what, the whole afternoon? You want them to stay indoors all afternoon?"

He said completely straight-faced "I'll be working till 6.30pm"

I laughed and said "well no, that won't be possible".

At this point he said in a very slow, careful, mansplaining voice just in case I couldn't follow him "I don't think you understand. I have a Very Important Job. These are very important meetings. I negotiate multi-million dollar contracts every day, I need to be able to concentrate."

Seriously? I always though he was a bit of a twat but who talks like this? Who actually says "Very Important" like that? Twice? He has no idea what my job is or how important dh or I might be.

I just said "no, we'll carry on using our garden as we always have. Maybe you could close your window when you're needing to concentrate. And just so you're aware, I can hear you and your colleagues when your window is open, I hope you're not saying anything confidential. I must get on, thanks for doing the bins while we were away" then shut the door.

He's gone, I can hear him on his Very Important Meeting. I could join in, I can hear every word on both sides. I suspect he'll be back, probably when dh is back from work so they can talk man to man.

He's unsettled me though, he was so self-confident when he came to the door, so sure that he would get exactly what he wanted. How do you get that kind of confidence? I wish I had it. Or is it arrogance? He made me think I was in the wrong at first.

We love our garden, we use it all the time. I'm not sure how we'll deal with this one, but I wasn't BU by refusing to bring the kids inside, was I? He's the one who has made the change, not us. I don't think wfh is new for him, he was just somewhere else in his house before I guess. Now he's on top of our patio with his big booming voice. I feel quite sad about it, if he's there all day every day it's going to be awful.

I’d sit outside with the radio on when he’s at his ‘most important ‘ meeting. He needs to be told to feck off.

LadyEloise1 · 11/08/2022 08:40

HarmlessPotato · 11/08/2022 00:19

I would 100% start mentioning stuff he was talking about in meetings. He'll soon shut window or move rooms. 🤣

This.
😂

TinyTear · 11/08/2022 09:12

LockAqua · 10/08/2022 21:16

I’m sure people wouldn’t be happy if say their employer went bust as a result of an error in a contract, or their house purchase fell through.

We are about to enter a recession so for me, the economy has to be prioritised. Someone in a very important role that is possibly vital to protecting people’s livelihoods should take precedence over playing Pokémon.

Well, I know traders and doctors and surgeons and lawyers who play Pokemon...
VIPokemon
Grin
It's important to get some down time as well...

MachineBee · 11/08/2022 09:14

Rosieandtwinkle · 10/08/2022 17:01

I work from home in my garden office, and have invested in a cracking pair of noise cancelling headphones for all my online calls. I no longer have to listen to mowers, dog’s barking, kids playing and neighbours arguing….and they don’t have to listen to my confidential calls, everyone’s a winner! Tell him Sony are pretty good! 😂

Agree Sony are very good. I use them too. But unfortunately they don’t stop what I’m saying being heard by people near me. I still have to be aware of my end of conversations being overheard and/or affecting others.

Iamdonewiththis · 11/08/2022 10:31

"LockAqua · Yesterday 21:16
I’m sure people wouldn’t be happy if say their employer went bust as a result of an error in a contract, or their house purchase fell through.
We are about to enter a recession so for me, the economy has to be prioritised. Someone in a very important role that is possibly vital to protecting people’s livelihoods should take precedence over playing Pokémon."

Ok @LockAqua this has to be a joke; you cannot be serious (surely?)

Grrrrdarling · 11/08/2022 10:44

Knitwit101 · 09/08/2022 14:35

We've lived next door to these neighbours for years. Know each other well enough to say hi, put bins out on holiday, but we're not friends. We've been using our garden in the same way for years. No changes on our side, nothing new.

We've come back from holiday to find neighbour has re-organised his home office and he now sits at a massive (open) window right on the boundary between our gardens. That must have been a spare bedroom before maybe, I don't know. We never saw anyone in it.

I sat outside at our patio table this morning to have a coffee and I could hear every word he said through his open window, could hear every word his colleagues said on their online meetings. He might as well have been sitting at the table with me. Not sure there's much I can do about that, he can use his house however he likes.

Ds10 and his pals are sitting outside at the table trading Pokemom cards. There's 4 of them, they are laughing and chatting but they're not shouting or being silly. And it's a sunny afternoon in the school holidays, they can be outside laughing in the garden if they want to be.

Neighbour has just come to the door to ask me if I can take them inside because he has a full afternoon of work meetings and their noise is distracting him.

I said "what, the whole afternoon? You want them to stay indoors all afternoon?"

He said completely straight-faced "I'll be working till 6.30pm"

I laughed and said "well no, that won't be possible".

At this point he said in a very slow, careful, mansplaining voice just in case I couldn't follow him "I don't think you understand. I have a Very Important Job. These are very important meetings. I negotiate multi-million dollar contracts every day, I need to be able to concentrate."

Seriously? I always though he was a bit of a twat but who talks like this? Who actually says "Very Important" like that? Twice? He has no idea what my job is or how important dh or I might be.

I just said "no, we'll carry on using our garden as we always have. Maybe you could close your window when you're needing to concentrate. And just so you're aware, I can hear you and your colleagues when your window is open, I hope you're not saying anything confidential. I must get on, thanks for doing the bins while we were away" then shut the door.

He's gone, I can hear him on his Very Important Meeting. I could join in, I can hear every word on both sides. I suspect he'll be back, probably when dh is back from work so they can talk man to man.

He's unsettled me though, he was so self-confident when he came to the door, so sure that he would get exactly what he wanted. How do you get that kind of confidence? I wish I had it. Or is it arrogance? He made me think I was in the wrong at first.

We love our garden, we use it all the time. I'm not sure how we'll deal with this one, but I wasn't BU by refusing to bring the kids inside, was I? He's the one who has made the change, not us. I don't think wfh is new for him, he was just somewhere else in his house before I guess. Now he's on top of our patio with his big booming voice. I feel quite sad about it, if he's there all day every day it's going to be awful.

I’d ask him if he has amended his house insurance & mortgage to account for him now running a business from his home & also explain that you are sure that data protection would not be very pleased if all around the area could hear his meetings!
if he earns so much he can afford to rent space for his business or to run aircon at home so he can work with the windows closed.
If he had thought about how his choice of work space position would effect those around him he would have reconsidered where he put it but expecting you all to pussyfoot around him is bang out of order. Tell him to get knotted.

Grrrrdarling · 11/08/2022 10:53

Knitwit101 · 09/08/2022 15:11

It's amazing how some people are so arrogant they can actually make you question yourself when it's them making a completely unreasonable demand

Exactly this.

Dh will back me up, he's not got much time for neighbour. He once invited dh round for a beer, dh said he just talked about his Very Important Job and didn't ask dh a single question about himself.

He's something to do with buying and merging companies from what I can gather. He keeps saying "the crux of the matter is...".

I don't know what the crux of the matter is, but it sounds deathly dull. I'll stick to my unimportant job where we laugh a lot.

And we do actually have a basketball hoop, considerately situated at the side of our garden with no neighbours although the kids dont usenit much. I could move it but I don't want neighbourhood wars. I just want him to go back to wherever he used to be 😞

Terrible diagram, I'm sorry.

The kids want to come inside now and play xbox.

If he chose to move or place his office facing your property & just expects you to change your life to accommodate him then he is sadly mistaken.
Stand your ground.
Also I would check on privacy laws because him sitting & staring into my garden all day, while ‘working’, would make me feel very uncomfortable in my own space!
despite his VIJ i’d probably hazard a guess that he hasn’t made allowances in mortgage or insurance to cover him for working from home. He’d also have to change council tax & possibly some other things too. I mean he works in ‘mergers & acquisitions’ so he should know how to do these things but has probably made a similar assumption about them as he has about you changing your lifestyle to accommodate him!

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