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AIBU?

To not accommodate Very Important Neighbour's new home office?

739 replies

Knitwit101 · 09/08/2022 14:35

We've lived next door to these neighbours for years. Know each other well enough to say hi, put bins out on holiday, but we're not friends. We've been using our garden in the same way for years. No changes on our side, nothing new.

We've come back from holiday to find neighbour has re-organised his home office and he now sits at a massive (open) window right on the boundary between our gardens. That must have been a spare bedroom before maybe, I don't know. We never saw anyone in it.

I sat outside at our patio table this morning to have a coffee and I could hear every word he said through his open window, could hear every word his colleagues said on their online meetings. He might as well have been sitting at the table with me. Not sure there's much I can do about that, he can use his house however he likes.

Ds10 and his pals are sitting outside at the table trading Pokemom cards. There's 4 of them, they are laughing and chatting but they're not shouting or being silly. And it's a sunny afternoon in the school holidays, they can be outside laughing in the garden if they want to be.

Neighbour has just come to the door to ask me if I can take them inside because he has a full afternoon of work meetings and their noise is distracting him.

I said "what, the whole afternoon? You want them to stay indoors all afternoon?"

He said completely straight-faced "I'll be working till 6.30pm"

I laughed and said "well no, that won't be possible".

At this point he said in a very slow, careful, mansplaining voice just in case I couldn't follow him "I don't think you understand. I have a Very Important Job. These are very important meetings. I negotiate multi-million dollar contracts every day, I need to be able to concentrate."

Seriously? I always though he was a bit of a twat but who talks like this? Who actually says "Very Important" like that? Twice? He has no idea what my job is or how important dh or I might be.

I just said "no, we'll carry on using our garden as we always have. Maybe you could close your window when you're needing to concentrate. And just so you're aware, I can hear you and your colleagues when your window is open, I hope you're not saying anything confidential. I must get on, thanks for doing the bins while we were away" then shut the door.

He's gone, I can hear him on his Very Important Meeting. I could join in, I can hear every word on both sides. I suspect he'll be back, probably when dh is back from work so they can talk man to man.

He's unsettled me though, he was so self-confident when he came to the door, so sure that he would get exactly what he wanted. How do you get that kind of confidence? I wish I had it. Or is it arrogance? He made me think I was in the wrong at first.

We love our garden, we use it all the time. I'm not sure how we'll deal with this one, but I wasn't BU by refusing to bring the kids inside, was I? He's the one who has made the change, not us. I don't think wfh is new for him, he was just somewhere else in his house before I guess. Now he's on top of our patio with his big booming voice. I feel quite sad about it, if he's there all day every day it's going to be awful.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

5480 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
1%
You are NOT being unreasonable
99%
BrightYellowDaffodil · 09/08/2022 14:45

Excellent response OP!

Can your DH be trusted to maintain the same line?

toffeechai · 09/08/2022 14:45

Wtf! He needs to get some headphones.

JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 09/08/2022 14:45

I mean if he had asked nicely for a one off unusual meeting I would have some sympathy but he's being an entitled twat. Leave him to it and pre warn your DH that you will not be stopping the children from playing out.


Maybe try some DIY or mow the lawn tomorrow 😁

TokyoSushi · 09/08/2022 14:46

Sounds like you gave an excellent response to Very Important Man OP, well done!

Agree a diagram would be helpful! Grin

AnneLovesGilbert · 09/08/2022 14:46

You handled it exactly right. What a self important idiot.

neverbeenskiing · 09/08/2022 14:47

What a twat. It was his choice to move his office and to keep the window wide open, now he thinks he can dictate when and how you use your garden. Don't change your behaviour for him and don’t let your DH cave if he tries this with him next! It really irritates me when people want the perks of working from home, but expect everyone around them to maintain an office-like level of quiet for their convenience.

rahjama · 09/08/2022 14:47

You handled it very well. You should be able to use your garden as you please, a sunday afternoon in the school holidays is perfectly okay to be noisy in the garden. Not like it's 5am or 11pm.

What a twat

Sheepreallylikerichteabiscuits · 09/08/2022 14:48

If he has a very important job that is interrupted by children playing outside in the summer holidays maybe he should have had an ounce of common sense and gone back to his very important office.

He should try living where I live, the RAF are currently practicing low flying maneuvers in the valley (not right now just in general), I saw a massive low flying Hercules yesterday. The noise is really loud at times, the kids next door are nothing compared to it! (Although I don't have a big important penis job to be fair)

Jalisco · 09/08/2022 14:48

If his home isn't suitable for his needs, he should go to his Very Important workplace. Or get some Very Important noise cancelling headsets like I have.

Boybandfacedfannyfart · 09/08/2022 14:49

What type of music do you think would really grate in his nerves and give entirely the wrong impression?

<rifles through CDs>

I have an impressive array of rap and grime for a middle-aged white woman.

I think you handled it brilliantly, I’d have probably felt guilty and shushed the children all afternoon.

FictionalCharacter · 09/08/2022 14:49

What a dick. Well done for standing up to him. I hope DH stands up for you too when they have the Man To Man talk. Please update when that happens!
Despite being female and not having a booming voice I too have Very Important Meetings at times. I shut the window. Surprisingly I manage.

MinnieGirl · 09/08/2022 14:49

You’ve lived side by side for years and it’s worked. He changes his office and he expects you to rearrange your life to suit him? No way!

I would point out very nicely that he chose to rearrange his working space. That he also chose to have the window open, and that he cannot expect the world to revolve around his working hours.

It’s not confidence, it’s arrogance. Remember that he has made the change not you. Point that out to him and say if he can’t concentrate maybe he needs to go back to his original working setup.

Absolutely no way would I be telling the children to go indoors or to be quiet. It’s the summer holidays and this entitled twat has moved his home office around and now expects you all to bow down to him.
Have the radio on, hang your washing out while chatting to the kids, sweep the path etc… it’s your garden and you can do what you like.

TeeBee · 09/08/2022 14:50

Please brief your husband to respond 'I think my wife already explained her stance on the matter. Do you need it explaining in more detail?' Just in case he comes around again.

dustandroses · 09/08/2022 14:50

Can you hear him making multi million $$ deals or just general office politics and shit. Surely his calls should be confidential and he can use headphones.

Pleased you had the confidence to call him out on it.

eyekogirl · 09/08/2022 14:51

The very epitome of a CF twunt

SunshineAndFizz · 09/08/2022 14:51

Sounds like you handled it perfectly.

Do whatever you like in your garden, I'm sure he'll move his office or close the window soon enough. Not your problem.

ZingotheDingo · 09/08/2022 14:51

I would maybe mention data protection and confidentiality.

Perhaps it's time to get the kids doing some tiktok videos out there; I'm sure he will start closing the windows once him and his colleagues multi-million details are recorded (unintentionally)

FictionalCharacter · 09/08/2022 14:51

Sheepreallylikerichteabiscuits · 09/08/2022 14:48

If he has a very important job that is interrupted by children playing outside in the summer holidays maybe he should have had an ounce of common sense and gone back to his very important office.

He should try living where I live, the RAF are currently practicing low flying maneuvers in the valley (not right now just in general), I saw a massive low flying Hercules yesterday. The noise is really loud at times, the kids next door are nothing compared to it! (Although I don't have a big important penis job to be fair)

You lucky thing, I’d love that!

Abra1d1 · 09/08/2022 14:52

I have worked from home for 26 years. If children outdoors disturb me I close the windows. Yes, nice to have the fresh air but that’s the downside of home-working. If he’s that important he should have aircon.
I’ve worked through building projects and kept my windows closed and put on headphones, moving to another room if I need somewhere quieter.

Dancingintherain19 · 09/08/2022 14:52

Would suggest he uses head phones. At least you wouldn’t hear his colleagues then.

Rainbowshit · 09/08/2022 14:53

You dealt with this very important twat absolutely perfectly.

WeAreBob · 09/08/2022 14:53

I think it's time to let the kids have some music on and a bit of a water fight.

bestbefore · 09/08/2022 14:54

Tell him to go back to his real office!!

Seeline · 09/08/2022 14:54

Patio sounds like an ideal spot for the DCs new passion of basket ball!

Bobbybobbins · 09/08/2022 14:54

Well done OP I am super impressed with your response.

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