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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not accommodate Very Important Neighbour's new home office?

739 replies

Knitwit101 · 09/08/2022 14:35

We've lived next door to these neighbours for years. Know each other well enough to say hi, put bins out on holiday, but we're not friends. We've been using our garden in the same way for years. No changes on our side, nothing new.

We've come back from holiday to find neighbour has re-organised his home office and he now sits at a massive (open) window right on the boundary between our gardens. That must have been a spare bedroom before maybe, I don't know. We never saw anyone in it.

I sat outside at our patio table this morning to have a coffee and I could hear every word he said through his open window, could hear every word his colleagues said on their online meetings. He might as well have been sitting at the table with me. Not sure there's much I can do about that, he can use his house however he likes.

Ds10 and his pals are sitting outside at the table trading Pokemom cards. There's 4 of them, they are laughing and chatting but they're not shouting or being silly. And it's a sunny afternoon in the school holidays, they can be outside laughing in the garden if they want to be.

Neighbour has just come to the door to ask me if I can take them inside because he has a full afternoon of work meetings and their noise is distracting him.

I said "what, the whole afternoon? You want them to stay indoors all afternoon?"

He said completely straight-faced "I'll be working till 6.30pm"

I laughed and said "well no, that won't be possible".

At this point he said in a very slow, careful, mansplaining voice just in case I couldn't follow him "I don't think you understand. I have a Very Important Job. These are very important meetings. I negotiate multi-million dollar contracts every day, I need to be able to concentrate."

Seriously? I always though he was a bit of a twat but who talks like this? Who actually says "Very Important" like that? Twice? He has no idea what my job is or how important dh or I might be.

I just said "no, we'll carry on using our garden as we always have. Maybe you could close your window when you're needing to concentrate. And just so you're aware, I can hear you and your colleagues when your window is open, I hope you're not saying anything confidential. I must get on, thanks for doing the bins while we were away" then shut the door.

He's gone, I can hear him on his Very Important Meeting. I could join in, I can hear every word on both sides. I suspect he'll be back, probably when dh is back from work so they can talk man to man.

He's unsettled me though, he was so self-confident when he came to the door, so sure that he would get exactly what he wanted. How do you get that kind of confidence? I wish I had it. Or is it arrogance? He made me think I was in the wrong at first.

We love our garden, we use it all the time. I'm not sure how we'll deal with this one, but I wasn't BU by refusing to bring the kids inside, was I? He's the one who has made the change, not us. I don't think wfh is new for him, he was just somewhere else in his house before I guess. Now he's on top of our patio with his big booming voice. I feel quite sad about it, if he's there all day every day it's going to be awful.

OP posts:
Sheepreallylikerichteabiscuits · 10/08/2022 19:53

Boysgrownbutstillathome · 10/08/2022 19:49

Why do tabloid newspapers have access to Mumsnet chats? They shouldn't be allowed to quote private conversations, potentially causing real problems by outing people. Why do MN let this happen?

They aren't private conversations, any more than posts on facebook are private. This is social media, anyone can access it, anyone can read it and mumsnet allows it because it drives more traffic to their site which then generates more revenue for them.

I don't like it when MN lets clearly vulnerable posters be bullied by people flocking to the site from the likes of the daily mail, but if you want a private conversations don't post it on the internet.

DadDadDad · 10/08/2022 19:53

Boysgrownbutstillathome · 10/08/2022 19:49

Why do tabloid newspapers have access to Mumsnet chats? They shouldn't be allowed to quote private conversations, potentially causing real problems by outing people. Why do MN let this happen?

Eh? Private conversations? On a page accessible to anyone with the internet? On a site visited by millions? On the most popular board on the site?

It's lame that they lift stories ready-made from an anonymous forum, but how can they be stopped?

maxandmoo · 10/08/2022 20:12

He’s lying, not important at all, at least not important enough to grasp the current GDPR regulations-really don’t think he is quite as big a fish as he thinks he is, a breach that involves multi million dollar contracts would end in multi million pound damages awards. Simply record part of his conversation, and play it to him-any more nonsense and it goes straight to head office. Duck head.

DadBodAlready · 10/08/2022 20:13

I also work negotiating multi-million dollar contracts on a daily basis as well as well as due diligence on potential acquisitions. I however, when working from home, tend to close my windows for the very reason you explained .... people overhearing confidential calls!!

You neighbour is a dh, and if his company was aware would no doubt educate him on how to conduct confidential business meetings.

No you are not BU, continue to use your garden as you see fit. I'm sure you purchased the property, not just to for the house but also the garden.

THEDEACON · 10/08/2022 20:14

Make sure your OH answers the door to him and says you have raised the issue and you have been given the absolute definitive answer from this household!!

DadBodAlready · 10/08/2022 20:20

Knitwit101 · 09/08/2022 15:20

I like the idea of bagpipe lessons

Well now you'll all think I'm a troll because this part is too good to be true, but we're in Scotland and ds15 does actually play the bagpipes. But he doesn't play in the house or garden, he just plays the chanter at home and plays his pipes at band practice or at school, he's in a school band. In fact his pipes have been in school all summer holiday.

One time they were practising for a competition and he did have his pipes at home, he had rules about how long he could play and what times, and we warned the neighbours. They are ridiculously loud up close.

The kids are back at school here next week, maybe he could bring them home....

He definitely should I'm sure he also needs to brush up on his marching so he should certainly practice both in the back garden!!

Insanelysilver · 10/08/2022 20:26

What a self entitled 🍆
I particularly like the way he goes on about his big important job as though it benefits you in some way!

i expect that’s how he got such a big important job by trampling over everyone else and throwing his weight about!
Unbelievable. I’d just ignore him and let your kid invite a nice group of friends over to let him know he’s not going to dictate how you live in your own home!

fatchilli123 · 10/08/2022 20:32

It's time to PARTAY... 😜

Endlesslypatient82 · 10/08/2022 20:53

Sheepreallylikerichteabiscuits · 10/08/2022 19:50

Not in the scenario you describe.

In the scenario you describe a random trader is sitting in costa. They then receive a confidential email that pizer is having a patent granted i.e. information not freely available to the public, and then trade shares off the back of that.

That is literally the definition of insider trading. Its not about being an 'insider' as you put it, its about having inside information e.g. information not freely available to the general public.

And no insider trading is not what traders usually do, given its, you know, illegal. But its also not what people working for a company normally do either given it would be hugely obvious what they had done.

The reality is you are coming up with all kinds of scenarios to justify saying that someone can get sacked for looking at the FTSE in a coffee shop. Which is rubbish and also in no way relevant to the OPs situation anyway.

Bingo

AuntyMabelandPippin · 10/08/2022 20:58

Endlesslypatient82 · 09/08/2022 20:05

He’s not going to be super important industry big deal living in a bungalow in Scotland!

Oh bless.

My DH has been in charge of many billion pound projects over the years.

We live in Scotland.

LockAqua · 10/08/2022 21:00

This is a much more difficult one for me. Like it or not, your neighbour has a very important job. With that comes a need for peace and quiet to work.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable for him to ask for loud noise to stop for a short period while he’s engaged on meetings discussing multi million pound contracts.

We all need to come and go when moving in close proximity with others. I think there is more of a need to keep relatively quite given that he has a very important job and the implications of mistakes could be disastrous.

IncompleteSenten · 10/08/2022 21:02

Are you joking?
It's often hard to tell in writing.

Sheepreallylikerichteabiscuits · 10/08/2022 21:02

LockAqua · 10/08/2022 21:00

This is a much more difficult one for me. Like it or not, your neighbour has a very important job. With that comes a need for peace and quiet to work.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable for him to ask for loud noise to stop for a short period while he’s engaged on meetings discussing multi million pound contracts.

We all need to come and go when moving in close proximity with others. I think there is more of a need to keep relatively quite given that he has a very important job and the implications of mistakes could be disastrous.

That's sarcasm right?

alphons · 10/08/2022 21:07

If he were that important he wouldn’t be negotiating these deals. He’d be paying someone to negotiate them for him 🤷‍♀️

SpindleInTheWind · 10/08/2022 21:07

I imagine this is 'journos' just posting shit for comments now.

LockAqua · 10/08/2022 21:16

I’m sure people wouldn’t be happy if say their employer went bust as a result of an error in a contract, or their house purchase fell through.

We are about to enter a recession so for me, the economy has to be prioritised. Someone in a very important role that is possibly vital to protecting people’s livelihoods should take precedence over playing Pokémon.

Sheepreallylikerichteabiscuits · 10/08/2022 21:19

LockAqua · 10/08/2022 21:16

I’m sure people wouldn’t be happy if say their employer went bust as a result of an error in a contract, or their house purchase fell through.

We are about to enter a recession so for me, the economy has to be prioritised. Someone in a very important role that is possibly vital to protecting people’s livelihoods should take precedence over playing Pokémon.

No that's not how this works

The very important man with the very important job can go to his very important office

And the kids on the summer holidays can carry on being kids

And the neighbour who bought a house in a residential area doesn't need to adjust her routines to fit in with the very important man next door, because he can't be bothered to close a window.

IncompleteSenten · 10/08/2022 21:21

Fuck that.
He could buy my silence by the hour though.

cherish123 · 10/08/2022 21:46

YADNBU
Well done you for your response

AmberMcAmber · 10/08/2022 22:02

Nope YANBU
if he is as important as he says he is then he can close the window & get AC installed or go to a local hotel or other conferencing space for his super important meetings

you carry on using your garden as a garden and pay him no attention

Dalint · 10/08/2022 22:12

Oh, thanks for explaining that to me.

sweeetpotato · 10/08/2022 22:38

LockAqua · 10/08/2022 21:16

I’m sure people wouldn’t be happy if say their employer went bust as a result of an error in a contract, or their house purchase fell through.

We are about to enter a recession so for me, the economy has to be prioritised. Someone in a very important role that is possibly vital to protecting people’s livelihoods should take precedence over playing Pokémon.

Hahahahahahahahhahahaa

Pull the other one

IPFrealy · 10/08/2022 22:39

LockAqua · 10/08/2022 21:16

I’m sure people wouldn’t be happy if say their employer went bust as a result of an error in a contract, or their house purchase fell through.

We are about to enter a recession so for me, the economy has to be prioritised. Someone in a very important role that is possibly vital to protecting people’s livelihoods should take precedence over playing Pokémon.

😂

Grimchmas · 10/08/2022 22:48

Somebody Whose Job Is Very Important should go back to working wherever in their house they were doing for the last two years if kids playing Pokemon next door disturb Him ;)

Dotcomma · 10/08/2022 22:52

Well said OP, perhaps he could go sit in his car down the road with the windows open and have some very important meetings on zoom sat in his shirt, tie & underpants.

Obviously you were unprepared but you handled it well, what an utter entitled bellend 🖕👉