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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not accommodate Very Important Neighbour's new home office?

739 replies

Knitwit101 · 09/08/2022 14:35

We've lived next door to these neighbours for years. Know each other well enough to say hi, put bins out on holiday, but we're not friends. We've been using our garden in the same way for years. No changes on our side, nothing new.

We've come back from holiday to find neighbour has re-organised his home office and he now sits at a massive (open) window right on the boundary between our gardens. That must have been a spare bedroom before maybe, I don't know. We never saw anyone in it.

I sat outside at our patio table this morning to have a coffee and I could hear every word he said through his open window, could hear every word his colleagues said on their online meetings. He might as well have been sitting at the table with me. Not sure there's much I can do about that, he can use his house however he likes.

Ds10 and his pals are sitting outside at the table trading Pokemom cards. There's 4 of them, they are laughing and chatting but they're not shouting or being silly. And it's a sunny afternoon in the school holidays, they can be outside laughing in the garden if they want to be.

Neighbour has just come to the door to ask me if I can take them inside because he has a full afternoon of work meetings and their noise is distracting him.

I said "what, the whole afternoon? You want them to stay indoors all afternoon?"

He said completely straight-faced "I'll be working till 6.30pm"

I laughed and said "well no, that won't be possible".

At this point he said in a very slow, careful, mansplaining voice just in case I couldn't follow him "I don't think you understand. I have a Very Important Job. These are very important meetings. I negotiate multi-million dollar contracts every day, I need to be able to concentrate."

Seriously? I always though he was a bit of a twat but who talks like this? Who actually says "Very Important" like that? Twice? He has no idea what my job is or how important dh or I might be.

I just said "no, we'll carry on using our garden as we always have. Maybe you could close your window when you're needing to concentrate. And just so you're aware, I can hear you and your colleagues when your window is open, I hope you're not saying anything confidential. I must get on, thanks for doing the bins while we were away" then shut the door.

He's gone, I can hear him on his Very Important Meeting. I could join in, I can hear every word on both sides. I suspect he'll be back, probably when dh is back from work so they can talk man to man.

He's unsettled me though, he was so self-confident when he came to the door, so sure that he would get exactly what he wanted. How do you get that kind of confidence? I wish I had it. Or is it arrogance? He made me think I was in the wrong at first.

We love our garden, we use it all the time. I'm not sure how we'll deal with this one, but I wasn't BU by refusing to bring the kids inside, was I? He's the one who has made the change, not us. I don't think wfh is new for him, he was just somewhere else in his house before I guess. Now he's on top of our patio with his big booming voice. I feel quite sad about it, if he's there all day every day it's going to be awful.

OP posts:
Sonnex · 13/08/2022 11:09

I don't see any impact on my neighbours from WFH? They all are as well. The only impact really is that burglaries and car crime have apparently gone down as there are people around more in the day.

The local delivery people (who I am note friendly with :) ) also like it as people tend to be in more for parcel delivery and they don't have to faff around leaving cards and taking things back to the depot.

Both my car and home insurance have gone down a bit as I can now answe the question about the house and car never being left unattended now as yes.

StressedOutMumBex · 13/08/2022 18:35

So I’m dying to know if the next door neighbour tried to talk to op’s husband ‘man to man’ did the cf try that OP ?

thecatsmum12346 · 14/08/2022 11:48

He sounds like a misogynist. I would advise standing up to him and making as much noise as possible to mark his card.

1HappyTraveller · 14/08/2022 11:56

YANBU

Your neighbour should re-locate his ‘office’ if he’s not happy.

Of note it might be worth keeping a note of noise produced from his side. If he’s that much of an ar$e I wouldn’t be surprised if he made a noise complaint because he was being disturbed.

LeaveIt · 14/08/2022 12:42

CountryMouse22 · 10/08/2022 18:42

Or perhaps drum lessons?

Eh? What’s the difference between Very Important drum lessons and drum lessons? Mustardbay was making a joke.

Grasshopper30 · 14/08/2022 13:17

I have what some might consider "a very important job" and I work from home, and there is often outside noise (including from my own 6 year old) solution? I invested in a pair of noise cancelling head phones. Other people can't hear my frequent meeting conversations and I can't hear the outside world! I'm sure if his job is so "important " it wouldn't be beyond his means to purchase! I come across over-confident men all the time. Their confidence gets them much further than their skill (or lack of....)

Varoty · 14/08/2022 13:20

He can’t demand that you move or be quiet. And equally he can’t demand that you move or be quiet. You have to put up with normal levels of neighbour noise, or move yourself to another room (or another house!) where you can’t hear it. It doesn’t matter how important he thinks he is, he can’t demand that people must be silent outside his house. Twat.

SpinCityBlues · 14/08/2022 13:27

LeaveIt · 14/08/2022 12:42

Eh? What’s the difference between Very Important drum lessons and drum lessons? Mustardbay was making a joke.

Is it the heat? There's quite a lot of missing-the-humour on MN today, especially where it's a bit deadpan.

BlueMongoose · 14/08/2022 13:45

Ducksinthebath · 09/08/2022 14:40

If he’s such a big shot he can install air con and keep the window closed or get a dedicated office pod.

Absolutely. It sounds to me like he isn't nearly as important as he's cracking on he is.

Lb482 · 14/08/2022 13:54

@Knitwit101 Sounds like his very important job will pay him enough to buy some fancy noise cancelling headphones to use on his meetings so he doesn’t have to hear you and vice versa you don’t hear his conversations. Maybe give him a Which? Best Buy list printed out!

I would also “politely” point out that you have heard certain details that probably compromise confidentiality agreements he has in place with his employer and the deals he is working on. And if he wants to continue to blast them into a public space then you will record them and put them on Twitter etc!

its your garden and there are no rules on noise during the day 🤷‍♀️

Endlesslypatient82 · 14/08/2022 14:04

its your garden and there are no rules on noise during the day

seriously?

my two were just having a mad nerf ball fight in our garden. Lots of noise (shrieks, laugh etc). I told him to pipe down a bit in case they bother the neighbours.

Endlesslypatient82 · 14/08/2022 14:04

That was to @Lb482

Lb482 · 14/08/2022 14:23

Endlesslypatient82 · 14/08/2022 14:04

its your garden and there are no rules on noise during the day

seriously?

my two were just having a mad nerf ball fight in our garden. Lots of noise (shrieks, laugh etc). I told him to pipe down a bit in case they bother the neighbours.

Yep not unless it’s unreasonable, persistent or out of daytime hours. I would say children playing is normal and the council would laugh at anyone who complains
asbhelp.co.uk/noisy-neighbours-noise/

Endlesslypatient82 · 14/08/2022 14:25

Goodness - is there literally no limit in “day time hours” in your opinion.

my children were shrieking and laughing and very loud horseplay.
You are seriously saying that I should not have asked them to lower the volume so as not to bother neighbours out in their gardens?

Zone2NorthLondon · 14/08/2022 14:49

I’d anonymously contact his employer that he is loud and indiscreet in his loud vocal communication and you overheard his very important commercially sensitive discussion

Hira3 · 14/08/2022 15:55

mrwalkensir · 09/08/2022 14:38

My DH has very important meetings. If it's noisy outside, he closes the window! Maybe you need to start quoting back to him some info from his calls...

Good Idea.

Banana2079 · 14/08/2022 16:41

to answer your question I would do nothing
as you said he is in his house and he can use it as he sees fit
you could say to them oh by the way just thought I’d mention I can hear your meetings, just in case there is anything confidential
that may prompt them to be quieter
however he’s not gonna be there all day and night and I suspect in winter you won’t hear them at all

Banana2079 · 14/08/2022 16:45

Ignore my response as I only saw half your message
omg , how fucking dare he! His work meetings are not your concern
you are using your garden as u see fit ! I’m glad u stood your ground , flipping hot out why should you and your family tip toe around your own bloody house for his meetings
i woukd have said I don’t care if you negotiate work meetings for the queen herself , how dare you ask me , then put the radio on

Endlesslypatient82 · 14/08/2022 17:04

Zone2NorthLondon · 14/08/2022 14:49

I’d anonymously contact his employer that he is loud and indiscreet in his loud vocal communication and you overheard his very important commercially sensitive discussion

This is sensible although it really couldn’t be “anonymous” 😂

but yes… approaching employer will just mean they say we have been advised potentially confidential information is being unintentionally heard during your calls, so we would like you to be office based more / ensure a more appropriate environment to home work in

PetraBP · 14/08/2022 17:09

If he’s so big and important he can close the window and buy himself an air conditioning unit rather than expecting your children to remain indoors during the summer holidays!

Zone2NorthLondon · 14/08/2022 17:13

Endlesslypatient82 · 14/08/2022 17:04

This is sensible although it really couldn’t be “anonymous” 😂

but yes… approaching employer will just mean they say we have been advised potentially confidential information is being unintentionally heard during your calls, so we would like you to be office based more / ensure a more appropriate environment to home work in

Of course it can be anonymous. Simply don’t give identifiable details, create an email or write a letter detailing his loud breaches. Give specific details of his data breaches. If he is as important as he claims, potentially commercially sensitive data is loudly being discussed.

Endlesslypatient82 · 14/08/2022 17:14

Of course it can be anonymous!!

but surely you see that he will know precisely who contacted them! 😂

Endlesslypatient82 · 14/08/2022 17:16

the only reason the OP would want a report to be anonymous would be to avoid further tension with the neighbour.

but my point if maybe you’d paused is that of course he will know (and indeed even if he didn’t surely logic would tell you that it’s the neighbour right next to your office!)

Zone2NorthLondon · 14/08/2022 17:19

Endlesslypatient82 · 14/08/2022 17:14

Of course it can be anonymous!!

but surely you see that he will know precisely who contacted them! 😂

Do you understand the principle of anonymity?
create an email address or post a letter. Google Who to send it to. Dob him in
So will he know/suspect that the op reported him?well yes but what’s he going to do about it? He’s already frothing and complaining so give him something to most about

Justkidding55 · 14/08/2022 17:20

Mustardbay · 09/08/2022 14:40

I think you need to start some Very Important drum lessons

Made me do a snort 😂

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