Would I be unreasonable to raise an issue with what a so-called friend said to me?

[Keyansier]

I have always looked very young for my age, which was a hinderance as a teenager and young adult but as I have got older I have embraced and taken upon the fact that that I look young as a blessing (I am now 28 btw but look like I am in the teenagers years range)

I bought a bottle of wine for dinner from the shop on the way home for me and my DBF last night (we are in a same-sex relationship) amongst other stuff and expected to show ID as normal and didn't get asked, so I jokingly said "Are you not going to ask me for ID for the wine?" and the (obviously gay a nd young) guy who was on the till stared at me and looked me up and down and said: "no, I don't think that's necessary."

I paid for my things without much further words and went home but was a bit upset. Later, I had a VERY SMALL cry to myself in private about it in the toilet and then when I told my friend later and told him what happened he was very nonchalant and said my crying was for attention-seeking and I always do it to try and get attention, even though I had JUST told him that I had cried to myself in total private and for very briefly, about ten seconds in total, if that!! I spoke to my DP later and he agreed with me that it was horrible but AIBU for being furious by the callous words from a so-called friend and should I lessen contact with them?

Only an obvious put down because you were fishing for a compliment of looking under 21. And why tell your friend you'd cried if it wasn't for attention?

Jeeeeezzzzz I wish I had your worries

You sound exhausting.

Diddums

The bit that’s confusing me is that your in a same sex relationship with your best friend and then you also have DP who’s a he 🤣

There’s a lot going on.

That aside don’t get offended by the id’ers. As someone early 30s who does not look 18 by any stretch of the imagination - some just use it as a power trip and purposefully do the opposite to what they think you want to create annoyance. They are sad. Ignore.

You sound like such an entitled attention seeker it's unreal. Does dp pander to you just as much or what.
I'd do a runner if I was the friend you sound exhausting and very hard.

Probably crying on the toilet reading the replies because they haven't gone the way you want. I think you need a reality check . I n the grand scheme of things you are really aren't that special op

Only 99% of voters think YABU OP, so there is someone else like you!

I think DBF and DP are the same person and the friend who was unsympathetic to OP is a different person.

Another confused one here.

The only sense I can make from your reaction is that maybe you hoped the 'obviously gay' shop assistant may have found you attractive? (hope I'm not jumping to conclusions, but you have confirmed you are male and in a same sex relationship)
When he mentioned he didn't need to ID you, you took that as a put down that he didn't? And maybe you don't look as young as you thought you did.
Trying to be kind OP, but if these are your main concerns in life you are doing very well.

There is no need to get upset. I used to get ID'd before I had my daughter and up until I was about 30. It hasn't happened for years now. We all have to get older!
Chill out and stop worrying about nothing.

Seriously, if I had a pound for every person who says 'nobody believes my age'. Most people are being kind. And when a cashier is 18, trust me everyone looks ancient! Even early 20's people!

Maybe you get id'd because you act young, not look young. I look younger than I am, but don't get id'd, but I act like an adult.

What? You cried?

Yes that's overly dramatic and attention seeking

I think young people are better able to spot people who are slightly younger or older than them. To someone older, it can be hard to tell someone in the early twenties from their late twenties.

Your friend might have just meant you were coming across as attention-seeking and dramatic by what you told him.

If you look at what you said, objectively it is a silly thing to be upset about.

Also not to be negative but just because you've always looked younger doesn't mean it will always be that way. I seemed to go from looking young twenties to mid-thirties really quickly 😂

You cried in the toilet because someone thought you looked over 21when you're actually 28? 🙄

Oh for god's sake, OP, get a grip.

You cried because weren't id'd and are now upset because someone was frustrated with you telling them about you crying.

I can see why they were short with you if it's like this all the time to be around you. You reaction was odd, both the question to the cashier, the upset and the talking about it to a friend.

No one's asking you to be a robot but if you're having this many feelings it might be draining the oxygen out of every room you're in. Maybe.

You're male - and gay?

And another "obviously gay" man put you down

That's shitty

TBH your friend has done you a favour by being honest with you. It was attention seeking and that's not a funny/nice/cute whatever quality to have. Maybe use this opportunity for a bit of self reflection and figure out why you got so "furious" at them for truthfully calling out what you did and ask yourself honestly: are you prone to attention seeking behaviour and what did you want your friend/partner/rando shop guy to say to you.

It's obviously a good enough friendship that they felt they could be honest with you and you want to throw it away over a silly thing like this.

And don't be dramatic by saying you have to act robotic 🤦🏼‍♀️ can't you be mature enough to accept some criticism? You're 28, I'd expect that reply from an actual teenager and not an adult approaching 30yrs.

It's confusing you that the OP's a gay man? Not hard.

He wasn't put down. He was told he obviously looked over 18, and considering he's 28 this shouldn't be news to him.

Pathetic. Time to grow up and act your age.

You used to get asked for ID because you looked under 25. You are no longer under 25 and therefore don’t look it, as a result you don’t need to show ID. Sounds like you look your age to me, fyi, when you ask people how old you look they always say younger than they think just in case!

Why did you tell them you had cried privately, if not to seek attention?

You are funny, but I must be honest and say I'm laughing at you.
I was judged as younger until mid 30s and life catches up, you just shrug and get on with it!

I agree its great being not good looking. I go about my day not being bothered by men😁. Its good to be invisible😁