Would I be unreasonable to raise an issue with what a so-called friend said to me?

[Keyansier]

I have always looked very young for my age, which was a hinderance as a teenager and young adult but as I have got older I have embraced and taken upon the fact that that I look young as a blessing (I am now 28 btw but look like I am in the teenagers years range)

I bought a bottle of wine for dinner from the shop on the way home for me and my DBF last night (we are in a same-sex relationship) amongst other stuff and expected to show ID as normal and didn't get asked, so I jokingly said "Are you not going to ask me for ID for the wine?" and the (obviously gay a nd young) guy who was on the till stared at me and looked me up and down and said: "no, I don't think that's necessary."

I paid for my things without much further words and went home but was a bit upset. Later, I had a VERY SMALL cry to myself in private about it in the toilet and then when I told my friend later and told him what happened he was very nonchalant and said my crying was for attention-seeking and I always do it to try and get attention, even though I had JUST told him that I had cried to myself in total private and for very briefly, about ten seconds in total, if that!! I spoke to my DP later and he agreed with me that it was horrible but AIBU for being furious by the callous words from a so-called friend and should I lessen contact with them?

so I'll just take that I'm BU and will not go out in public again and bother people by living my life

😂😂😂 Stop it, OP, you're killing me ...

Nobody’s making it out to be a sobfest.
What people are pointing out is that, after having your quiet little cry, you told your friend that you had a quiet little cry.
You are wanting sympathy for them being accused of attention-seeking, and you’re not going to get it - you’re nearly 30.

Imagine waiting in anticipation with your ID already to go and - BAM! Someone thinks you look your age and it is no longer required. 😭🎻

If this is true then you really need to start acting the age you are instead of what you think you are.

So tell us, where are you coming from?

Because it sounds like you were offended that your friend wasn't shocked that a 28 year old was not asked for ID.

If it was any other 28 year old, not you, would you be ''shocked'' if that 28 year old wasn't ID'd? Perhaps. But would you think it was reasonable of them if they got upset that they weren't ID'd.

Headline

28 year old devastated not to look younger than 25

But you didn't did you.....you chose to announce it

Oh the drama!!

What were you thinking when you were crying?

''I don't look 18 any more''
or
''friend doesn't think I look 18 anymore''
or
''friend not sympathetic that I am upset that I don't look 18 anymore''.

I am not trying to be snippy here, but you're 28.

People on here have been mistaken for their husband's mother and they handled it better.

You are sooooo brave and strong. Come on chicky, wipe those tears away, blow your nose, shake your shoulders back, and paste that gorgeous smile back on.

You're getting old. It happens to the best of us. Get over it.

Oh give over, listen to yourself!

You do realise some people have real issues in life?

Don't go out again if you don't want to, it's entirely up to you.

No one is going to beg you to go out.

Is it even possible to have a 10 second cry? 😂

You asked the guy if he was going to ask you for ID when your youthful looks didn’t get his attention.

You told your best friend to get a reaction which you didn’t like.

You told you BF.

You told a load of strangers on Mumsnet.

I think you might be lying to yourself about not being a massive attention seeker OP.

“I'll just take that I'm BU and will not go out in public again and bother people by living my life”
You're like the minor irritating older sibling in a Jane Austen novel who has an inflated sense of self worth and is struggling to accept fading looks.
I’d honestly hide this thread now, OP - you’re embarrassing yourself with your drama.

Haha this is utterly bonkers!

For crying out loud, you’re 28. Just grow up. Stop with all the drama and just enjoy life.

The fact that you are male and gay and that the shop assistant was also gay is completely irrelevant to the AIBU

Yes we all get triggered by things but it’s the fact that you then told a friend and got upset by their reaction that makes you unreasonable

All this talk of well I just won’t go out again just shows that you are very over dramatic so likely your friend is just fed up with that aspect of your personality

Oh - just read this little gem of a subordinate clause - “the (ugly, IMO) shop worker” 😂
The one who looked you up and down before dismissing you as not worthy of being ID’d!
Don't hide the thread, OP - please keep contributing.
“Ugly”! You might not look like a 14 year old any more, but your vocabulary is straight out of a teenagesaurus.

@Keyansier because this forum is called mumsnet, does not mean that we are all going to act like your mummy and say your the youngest looking bestest boy in the whole world! Nor are we going to wipe your 10 seconds of tears. We have better things to do.

This has to be a wind up, you cried because you didn’t get asked for ID. 🙄😂😂😂🍩

You're 28.

Time to start acting like an adult.

🤣🤣🤣

Order your booze on Amazon OP, even 95 year olds get carded so you will have decades left to enjoy this source of joy in your life.

No one though you were flirting with the checkout lad.

We all thought you were fishing for compliments, which you were, and are now gutted that even the 'ugly' (in your opinion) checkout boy DOESN'T think you are a desirable young thing.

I'd say he got measure of you instantly and put you straight back in your box where you belong.

The over sensitive drama queen thing is cute when you're 17. When you are nearly thirty (I can hear you hyperventilating from here. Yes you are!) it isn't cute, its just fucking annoying and will absolutely lose you friends.

You can belt up and behave your age, or continue down the path you're on... it is entirely your choice!

But why on earth did you have a cry about this? It's something which should really wash over you.

We are recognising where you're coming from - you thought you looked younger for years as that's what you've been told by others or been asked for ID in the past.

One shop assistant who's gay and maybe a bit catty, was just doing his job, yes, maybe he was being a bit bitchy but he didn't swear at you and wasn't rude.

Your friend was being honest with you although maybe a bit harsh, maybe he's seen you get upset in public over similar or petty things and does feel it's a bit attention seeking. Your partner will always have your back and won't tell you the truth as that's what a lot of partners do, he's being nice.

You have to decide whether it's worth losing a friendship over this or not. If anything, maybe have a quiet chat with your friend and say what you've said here, that you found his words hurtful. Or take his comments on the shoulder and actually, you know, mature a little bit.

Yes, but you then told literally everyone about it! Where's the privacy in that?

I'll just take that I'm BU and will not go out in public again and bother people by living my life

OMG, could you BE any more dramatic? You must be an absolute fucking nightmare to live with. I can just picture it, your BF doesn't know where your shirt is..you're all "well I suppose I'll just be NAKED then, FINE!"