DH has a big birthday next month. I booked us a surprise trip abroad (we are UK based, its in Europe) and asked in-laws to have 18-month old DD for 2 nights while we are away. All seemed like a great idea.
We are due to go next month and as the trip approaches i am feeling really bad about leaving DD. In laws are great and she knows and likes them. However we have left her twice recently where it hasn't gone so well and it's niggling me about leaving her again. The first, we left her from about 2pm to 11pm, she was well when we left but within a few hours she'd suddenly become ill and MIL ended up in A&E with her. She was discharged that night after a steroid but it was rattling. The second time we left her overnight with DM. She had a great time, loves DM and was fine when we collected her but as the day went on she seemed out of sorts, fussing quite a lot, cried at bedtime (unusual). Because of those two things, particularly the second where she wasn't herself, I'm worried that leaving her for 2 nights is the wrong thing to do and that maybe she's at an age where it's affecting her emotionally to not know where we are/she misses us.
I've wondered about taking her on the trip, as she's only 18 months i assume i could ring the airline and get her added to my seat. The problem is it's not a toddler-friendly trip. Quite a lot of travel - 1hr30 drive to airport, 2 hr flight, then 2 hr drive, one full day in the country and then travelling home again. Also, the full day we are attending a sporting event and it wont be fun for her. Prefer not to say exactly what but imagine something like a tennis tournament, so there's something going on all day long (not like 90 minute football match type thing). There are some stands but we'll be spectating from viewing points with TV screens and get glimpses of the courts here and there. It will be hot and crowded and is really not something a toddler would enjoy.
So my AIBU I suppose is: given the last couple of times we've left her where it hasn't gone really well, are we being selfish to leave her again? Or would it be selfish to take her on a trip she will not enjoy when she could be having 2 nights with her doting grandparents? I'm really torn.
Cancelling isn't an option. It was a lot of money and was meant to be a big exciting treat for DH (and hopefully on some level still will be)! DH knows about the trip now and thinks we should go without DD. He isn't worried about leaving her but does agree she was a bit upset after we collected her from DM. This is so long thank you for anyone who got to the end! Trying not to drip feed i've included so much info!