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AIBU?

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Original poster

should Dd 13 have a tv in her room?

158 replies

tearsandtiaras · 08/08/2022 13:17

Dd dad walked out on us in January. We are both doing well.

dd now wants a tv in her room, but I feel like she is a bit too young to be in her room all the time. i often give her free reign of the living room and tv and go to my room to watch tv

Aibu? At what age did you child have a tv in their room?

for context Dd has a phone and gaming platforms which she is allowed in her room

OP posts:
stayathomer · 08/08/2022 13:21

My best friend said having a tv in her room is what failed her exams for her. I essentially ignored her and ended up getting ds1 (13 at the time), one, and I wish I hadn’t. Thing is his thing is gaming so if she doesn’t game it wouldn’t be so bad I suppose. My sister has a 2nd tv in a spare room which seems to work better as obviously at night there’s the having to leave the room for bed etc

PineappleWilson · 08/08/2022 13:25

My DS is 13. We have a policy of no TVs in bedrooms and no screens (tablets etc.) half an hour before bedtime. I wouldn't allow a tv in her room especially if you've had an unsettled time recently. I'd say she needs to be around you, so you can pick up on changes or if she needs to talk, not providing options for her to hide herself away.

BotterMon · 08/08/2022 13:28

One TV in living room. Parents take phones off their kids when they go to bed so why would you allow a TV - it's just more screen time.

Cosycover · 08/08/2022 13:29

Really don't see an issue with this. I had a TV in my room when I was 5. What's the big deal? Just police it with timings etc

MrsOwainGlyndŵr · 08/08/2022 13:31

Just one tv in our house, in the living room.

parietal · 08/08/2022 13:37

why would she want or need a TV in her room? is there something in particular she wants to watch (that she doesn't want you to know about?) it is just more screen time and isolation and neither of those are good.

why not try to watch things together in the living room or not watch at all.

Rowen32 · 08/08/2022 13:39

I think TVs in children's/teenagers bedrooms is a terrible idea so it's a no from me!

Frida9 · 08/08/2022 13:41

I had a TV in my room from age 10, I wasn't allowed to sit in my room all evening watching my own TV but if I had friends sleep over we could watch films. I think it's fine as long as your daughter is given boundaries with it, at 13 most kids have a phone/laptop/tablet anyway so what's the difference?

girlmom21 · 08/08/2022 13:44

She doesn't need a TV in her room if she basically gets dibs on the tv in the living room.

BeanieTeen · 08/08/2022 13:46

Tricky. If she’s free to watch what she wants a lot of the time and you already have a spare to tv in your bedroom she can use too, it seems unnecessary.

MisgenderedSwan · 08/08/2022 13:46

We have a tiny house with limited downstairs area. The biggest room is ds' age 8 so he has a tv in there so he can watch his shows and play with his Lego/war hammer etc. it is strictly policed with no tv after tea and no screens at all an hour before bedtime.

It hasn't negatively affect him and he appreciates the space.

10HailMarys · 08/08/2022 13:57

I had a TV in my room when I was her age, and so my did my siblings and all my friends. It was fine. When I was a year or two older I also had an old VCR in there [showing my age there] that my nan gave me.

As for PPs saying 'Why should she need a TV in her room? What does she want to watch that she doesn't want you to know about?' and talking about 'isolation' ... I get where you're coming from but I think perhaps at 13 kids don't want to be sitting with their parents watching all the same things their parents watch. They want a bit of independence and privacy. I don't think it's isolation, I think it's a perfectly normal and healthy wish to have their own space and time to themselves, especially when they're at school surrounded by other kids all day. I wasn't watching anything super-inappropriate, but I liked watching 'my' programmes on my own, because they were 'my' thing and nobody else's. I still watched stuff with the rest of the family too - there were things we all watched as a family and things I watched in my room. I think that's pretty normal for a teenager.

Alaimo · 08/08/2022 14:03

10HailMarys · 08/08/2022 13:57

I had a TV in my room when I was her age, and so my did my siblings and all my friends. It was fine. When I was a year or two older I also had an old VCR in there [showing my age there] that my nan gave me.

As for PPs saying 'Why should she need a TV in her room? What does she want to watch that she doesn't want you to know about?' and talking about 'isolation' ... I get where you're coming from but I think perhaps at 13 kids don't want to be sitting with their parents watching all the same things their parents watch. They want a bit of independence and privacy. I don't think it's isolation, I think it's a perfectly normal and healthy wish to have their own space and time to themselves, especially when they're at school surrounded by other kids all day. I wasn't watching anything super-inappropriate, but I liked watching 'my' programmes on my own, because they were 'my' thing and nobody else's. I still watched stuff with the rest of the family too - there were things we all watched as a family and things I watched in my room. I think that's pretty normal for a teenager.

100% this. I loved being able to watch Dawson's Creek, Buffy and all the other teenage shows in my own room. (And the second each episode finished I 'd phone my best friend - on the landline of course - to discuss the latest episode in minute detail).

FinneusMum · 08/08/2022 14:04

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FinneusMum · 08/08/2022 14:06

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Original poster
tearsandtiaras · 08/08/2022 14:08

i think the harm is as other previous posters have suggested, more time in isolation.

OP posts:
ZeroFuchsGiven · 08/08/2022 14:09

I actually think 13 is old for asking for a tv tbh.

FinneusMum · 08/08/2022 14:11

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Blush21 · 08/08/2022 14:14

I had a tv as a teen but could only watch DVDs etc or use freeview/now TV. If you’re really concerned then make sure you don’t buy a smart tv. I don’t see an issue if she’s mature enough to police her own hours and gets school work done first, as I got older I had a now TV I Paid for but usually it was an hour or so of tv before bed or to watch series I knew the family wouldn’t watch. She’s 13 not 3 I find it unusual for her not to have a TV

Hankunamatata · 08/08/2022 14:14

Youngest got tv for his 8th birthday in his room. It has parental controls so turns off at certain times and has limits on how much he can watch it. He much prefers cartoons to gaming

Hankunamatata · 08/08/2022 14:15

I often sit with dc in their rooms, snuggled up with them and watch a bit of tv

balalake · 08/08/2022 14:17

No in my opinion. Isolation one matter, not doing school work another.

TinaYouFatLard · 08/08/2022 14:18

Of course it’s fine at 13. She wants to watch her teen shite shows in peace.

SnowdropsInSpring · 08/08/2022 14:21

My children will never have a tv in their room (we don’t either).

SnowdropsInSpring · 08/08/2022 14:22

SnowdropsInSpring · 08/08/2022 14:21

My children will never have a tv in their room (we don’t either).

We have a 'no screens in rooms' policy as well.