should Dd 13 have a tv in her room?

[tearsandtiaras]

Dd dad walked out on us in January. We are both doing well.

dd now wants a tv in her room, but I feel like she is a bit too young to be in her room all the time. i often give her free reign of the living room and tv and go to my room to watch tv

Aibu? At what age did you child have a tv in their room?

for context Dd has a phone and gaming platforms which she is allowed in her room

Mine have tvs in their rooms and are all younger than 13. Doesn't cause any problems and they still tend to spend most of their time downstairs.

I had a TV in my room before your Dad's age, I was obsessed with watching TV and some of my great memories were staying up really late watching arty channel 4 movies and the like. But I was always obsessed with reading, too, so I think it balanced out. I think it's generally fine, I'd just worry about her being able to watch stuff later in the evening which might be v age inappropriate. Which I also did but for whatever reason I was fine with scary movies (but my kids would be traumatised by that same stuff at the same age, I'd never allow it!!)

Oh god DD not dad, sorry

It depends on your child my DC loved screens a little too much, so no tv's in their rooms until GCSEs finished and no screens overnight. Relaxed during holidays/weekends.

I do not have a TV in my bedroom either.

I had a TV in my room from the age of about 8. My 9 year old son has one. A big one. He has his own Sky Q box and a PlayStation. It’s great. He has his own space where he can relax and we get a bit of peace.

I think a lot of parents use screentime limits and the like as a way of exercising their desire to control. I grew up watching TV movies and playing video games and I find it hard to believe that anyone can really truly think that it is bad for children. There’s no scientific basis for it, quite the opposite.

@StreetwiseHercules Where to even begin with this.

We got DS a tv for his room when he was 10 so he could keep in touch with friends online during covid school closures etc. Probably wouldn't have done so until 12 if our hand hadn't been forced. However he does still play out a lot, has meals with us, watches movies and TV shows with us, has sporting hobbies etc. Not seeing any bad side effects yet but obviously this may change as he gets older.

Problem?

No tv here for teens we have a house of screens. Bedrooms are for sleep

No TVs in bedrooms ever in this house. Kids have a small ‘den’ with spare tv but no screens allowed in bedrooms.

Ok, I'll start. There's plenty of research to suggest that watching TV in bedrooms is bad for kids. Apart from the obvious concerns around exactly what they might be viewing (particularly after 9pm) it can lead to:

Less physical activity and fitness
Poor sleeping habits and sleeping problems
Less time spent reading
Less quality family time
Higher rates of obesity
Increased risk of heart disease and diabetes in later life
Eyesight problems
Poor social skills
Lower school grades
Poor concentration
Increased depression, anxiety, loneliness and aggression
Behaviour associated with conditions such as ADHD
And with additional consoles - gaming addiction and safeguarding risks.

You just get up and turn it off.

My 11 year old has a tv in her room and has for years.

She hardly turns it on. I think she last had it on for a couple of hours before bed a few weeks ago.

She watches tv downstairs mostly.

This. If using a fire stick etc. you can have it turn off at a certain time

@FinneusMum Some of the research yes, but not all. Besides, it looks like a lot of parents do let their children have free access to TV in their rooms from a very young age.

no

Dd is 14 and we got her a tv for her 13th birthday. Usually we’d do theatre tickets etc but it was February 2021 in lockdown. For us it gave our teen space from her younger siblings but sometimes she invites me to watch stuff with her while dh plays computer games with her younger sisters on the main TV. She uses it fairly minimally except when she had covid and isolated in her room - she basically lived there teen dream.

She had her phone downstairs only but in May I let her have it upstairs. Her behaviour deteriorated and we hardly saw her. Now she’s back to phone downstairs only. It’s not done to punish but to support her with establishing healthy phone use. She recognised the link herself to her phone and her behaviour. TV hasn’t appeared to impact the same.

How do you police timings if you're going to bed? Do you take the TV with you? Genuinely confused.

My children all had a tv In their room at that age ….my oldest still spent all evening on the sofa watching our TV ! I genuinely don’t think it really is a problem. If they are sociable they will chat ,if not they will hide away anyway.

Having ADHD seems to crop up often on AIBU, but from this post everyone either controls or don't have the in their children's bedrooms!!

All statistics here make no difference as these issues could still have occurred regardless of a TV being in the bedroom.

I have 3 children. None of your facts relate to them since having access to a TV in their bedroom. Funnily the one who never wanted a TV has the most issues listed.

There is a huge difference between TV in a bedroom and your child spending all their time in there because of zero input from parents!

100% this

@Sometimeswinning as a teacher for twenty years I can assure you that what parents think their kids watch on TV and what they ACTUALLY watch are distant cousins.

You’d be horrified if you heard the conversations I used to hear on a daily basis about what primary kids were watching and gleaning from tv programmes far far too old for them.

It’s sad 😢

@Sometimeswinning I'm not sure what you mean there, but I agree TV should not be used as a nanny.