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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

should Dd 13 have a tv in her room?

158 replies

tearsandtiaras · 08/08/2022 13:17

Dd dad walked out on us in January. We are both doing well.

dd now wants a tv in her room, but I feel like she is a bit too young to be in her room all the time. i often give her free reign of the living room and tv and go to my room to watch tv

Aibu? At what age did you child have a tv in their room?

for context Dd has a phone and gaming platforms which she is allowed in her room

OP posts:
Vincitveritas · 08/08/2022 23:49

@NoRegretsNoTearsGoodbye I can't even repeat here what I've witnessed ten year olds discussing, and people wonder what's happened to society these days.

Sometimeswinning · 08/08/2022 23:49

NoRegretsNoTearsGoodbye · 08/08/2022 23:41

@Sometimeswinning as a teacher for twenty years I can assure you that what parents think their kids watch on TV and what they ACTUALLY watch are distant cousins.

You’d be horrified if you heard the conversations I used to hear on a daily basis about what primary kids were watching and gleaning from tv programmes far far too old for them.

It’s sad 😢

I don't disagree! I'm a TA. I've reported many inappropriate film/shows from my young year group. Squid games, Green Mile, It.

I have parental controls. Ban on YouTube for my younger 2 children. Plus I'm always potering about their bedrooms in the evening (they've never gone to their own room in the day!) I'm confident that my lot know the rules and even if they break them, it will be once.

I'm not silly enough to assume they won't try. That's on me and dh though (well me. If they're quiet he's good)

NoRegretsNoTearsGoodbye · 08/08/2022 23:52

Sadly you’re definitely in a minority. Parents largely seem astonishingly naive about what their kids are watching - and what time of night they’re watching too. We monitor our kids’ phones and I’m horrified at the times lots of their friends are messaging 😱.

NelStevHan · 08/08/2022 23:58

bedrooms are for rest, sleep quiet time.
one main tv here plus a little one in the office/spare room that can be used if we have adults over and the kids want to watch a movie.
phones and screens stay downstairs overnight.
TV, including kids tv is now available 24/7 in demand. it’s too much. They cannot self regulate.

Vincitveritas · 08/08/2022 23:59

@Sometimeswinning You sound like a diamond. This thread has pushed my blood pressure up a few notches, clearly I'm a dinosaur 😄.

NelStevHan · 09/08/2022 00:01

We have the same ‘rules’ for adults in the hse. We don’t have tv or screens in bedrooms and don’t use phones etc at night

Sometimeswinning · 09/08/2022 00:04

NoRegretsNoTearsGoodbye · 08/08/2022 23:52

Sadly you’re definitely in a minority. Parents largely seem astonishingly naive about what their kids are watching - and what time of night they’re watching too. We monitor our kids’ phones and I’m horrified at the times lots of their friends are messaging 😱.

I actually can't argue with you. I'm going to shut up now. I've literally argued that I know this goes on and in the same breath I say it's not an issue. I'm so desperate to prove my point on here sometimes!!

I do think a 13 year old should have their own tv. I'm sticking with that!

Sometimeswinning · 09/08/2022 00:05

Vincitveritas · 08/08/2022 23:59

@Sometimeswinning You sound like a diamond. This thread has pushed my blood pressure up a few notches, clearly I'm a dinosaur 😄.

No. Feel like a twat now 😂

Vincitveritas · 09/08/2022 00:06

😂

PoundPill · 09/08/2022 00:09

My DC don't have TVs in their rooms but do have iPads so watch whatever they want whenever they want on that.

TVs are very old fashioned nowadays to have in a bedroom imho. I only think this as mine did have an old TV each in their rooms a few years ago but never watched it due to iPads

Vincitveritas · 09/08/2022 00:14

You've done it now @PoundPill I'm off to bed with some smelling salts. Goodnight.

PoundPill · 09/08/2022 00:19

They hardly watch their iPads though.

I wish they were in their rooms watching bloody TV instead of constantly out with friends.

I'd like to know they were safe inside.

But thats just my anxiety when they're out.

Fortunately they're acing their exams so I can't even use that against them

PoundPill · 09/08/2022 00:22

I can check everything they watch on Netflix, Amazon, Disney, YouTube etc and it's all tame - they're wusses and hate horror etc and no porn so far.

They're late teens

Sometimeswinning · 09/08/2022 00:26

PoundPill · 09/08/2022 00:09

My DC don't have TVs in their rooms but do have iPads so watch whatever they want whenever they want on that.

TVs are very old fashioned nowadays to have in a bedroom imho. I only think this as mine did have an old TV each in their rooms a few years ago but never watched it due to iPads

Yeah no one has Tvs anymore 🤣

Yerroblemom1923 · 09/08/2022 00:32

No. Bedrooms are for sleep and rest. We only have one tv in our house.

HesA10ButNothing · 09/08/2022 00:50

TVs are very old fashioned nowadays to have in a bedroom imho. I only think this as mine did have an old TV each in their rooms a few years ago but never watched it due to iPads

🤣 Wtaf? Mumsnet is crazy.

CelestiaNoctis · 09/08/2022 01:05

My 6 year old has a TV in their room lol

DonnaBanana · 09/08/2022 02:03

tearsandtiaras · 08/08/2022 14:08

i think the harm is as other previous posters have suggested, more time in isolation.

How is spending time alone "harmful" per se?

StreetwiseHercules · 09/08/2022 02:12

Vincitveritas · 08/08/2022 23:10

Ok, I'll start. There's plenty of research to suggest that watching TV in bedrooms is bad for kids. Apart from the obvious concerns around exactly what they might be viewing (particularly after 9pm) it can lead to:

Less physical activity and fitness
Poor sleeping habits and sleeping problems
Less time spent reading
Less quality family time
Higher rates of obesity
Increased risk of heart disease and diabetes in later life
Eyesight problems
Poor social skills
Lower school grades
Poor concentration
Increased depression, anxiety, loneliness and aggression
Behaviour associated with conditions such as ADHD
And with additional consoles - gaming addiction and safeguarding risks.

Absolute rubbish. There is no sign of any of that with my child and I’m sure that’s all just in peoples imaginations and not in any way scientific. Watching a lot of TV doesn’t make your eyes square either.

and I can see everything he’s watching on Sky, Netflix, Prime, Disney and YouTube.

StreetwiseHercules · 09/08/2022 02:17

NoRegretsNoTearsGoodbye · 08/08/2022 23:41

@Sometimeswinning as a teacher for twenty years I can assure you that what parents think their kids watch on TV and what they ACTUALLY watch are distant cousins.

You’d be horrified if you heard the conversations I used to hear on a daily basis about what primary kids were watching and gleaning from tv programmes far far too old for them.

It’s sad 😢

It was the same in 1990 and yet crime today is at a record low. How strange.

StreetwiseHercules · 09/08/2022 02:19

Have just had to have a little chuckle at the idea presented here claiming that scientific research indicates the watching TV causes AHDH.
Incredible stuff.

mycatisannoying · 09/08/2022 02:22

No issue whatsoever. She's 13 ... not 3!

StreetwiseHercules · 09/08/2022 02:23

“Bedrooms are for sleeping”

This is such a weird, restrictive mindset. So kids aren’t allowed to read or play board games of play with toys in their bedroom. Or the kitchen? Surely the kitchen is for eating and food preparation?

Same rules for adults too as well I see quoted. So no reading in bed and certainly no sex. Quiet rest only. That’s what a bedroom is for.

if people actually live like this and don’t just pretend to for the sake of Mumsnet then it is worrying.

FinneusMum · 09/08/2022 06:28

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Sparklingbrook · 09/08/2022 07:01

‘Bedrooms are for sleeping’ always comes up on these threads. You cannot do anything else in a bedroom apparently. 😂
Presumably children can’t play in them or read books. Definitely no adult activities, like ironing. No putting make up on or drying hair. Sleeping only.

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