should Dd 13 have a tv in her room?

[tearsandtiaras]

Dd dad walked out on us in January. We are both doing well.

dd now wants a tv in her room, but I feel like she is a bit too young to be in her room all the time. i often give her free reign of the living room and tv and go to my room to watch tv

Aibu? At what age did you child have a tv in their room?

for context Dd has a phone and gaming platforms which she is allowed in her room

There are some weird controlling parenting here. Strict no tv policy? Jeez

My DC had TVs in their rooms from about this age, it wasn't connected to anything but we had a fire stick that would go on for sleepovers etc. We found it was a good compromise. They don't use them at all now, preferring to watch on their macbooks or phones.

In our house there are absolutely no screens allowed upstairs.
(For context the kids are lucky enough to have their own living room downstairs with TV, gaming platform etc etc). They also have laptops in a study.
And before someone pounces on me and says I am controlling there is huge evidence that kids need safe space away from screens and SM

The "bedrooms are for sleeping" comment is trite- but it is for scalectrix, Minecraft, jigsaws, mechano looking at their messy floors and I am sure if a TV was there they would not be doing that stuff.

If she has a phone and gaming platforms in her room you may aswell go the whole hog and let her have a tv in there too. 🤷🏻‍♀️

My DC managed to build Lego and do jigsaws etc with the TV on in the living room. Same in bedrooms.

No.

I’ma secondary maths teacher and often do little surveys with my classes. When I taught in quite a a naice school, about 80% of 13 year olds had tvs in their rooms. Also kitchens, playrooms, and summer houses. The amount of students with a single tv was vanishingly small, certainly not representative of the numbers in this thread, maybe one child out of five classes.

@StreetwiseHercules i don’t understand your point made to a PP about crime being at a record low? Crime wasn’t mentioned?

My worry for my kids watching inappropriate tv is mental health not crime.

We have no televisions in any bedroom rule and phones taken away at night too. For mental health reasons . Teens are so vulnerable to poor mental health and I know mine would isolate themselves if they had TVs or phones in their rooms.

In my head I was waiting till DS was going to high school and turn his room into a “teen” room. But we have just put one in last week and he is 8. We bought a new one and it seemed silly to get rid of it to buy one in a few years.

Thankfully my DS is a rule follower so is following the boundaries set, not to be on in the morning or after 8pm. It’s not connected to live tv and he has his own profiles on streaming services which he doesn’t stray from.

No TV but DD16 has TV streaming platforms on her iPad which is much the same thing. She also has her social media on her phone, photography equipment etc. It hasn't impeded her progress at school.

Crime may be low but mental health issues are at a record high. It is literally our job to shield our children from damaging content.

Children have watched TV now for generations. Sometimes they will push the boundaries and watch inappropriate content but that is part of growing up. It has never been easier to control the content they have access to than now.

you talk about mental health. What evidence is there linking television and the causation of mental health problems?

are you perhaps confusing TV and social media?

define “damaging content” in terms of modern television and streaming platforms?

Sky, Netflix, Disney, Prime, Apple, Peacock, Paramount, Discovery, iPlayer. Even YouTube.

what programmes are you talking about and what is the evidence they are “damaging”? Bear in mind the content children can access can be monitored and controlled more easily than ever.

Our two were about 12 and 10, but that's because they both play Xbox etc and I got fed up with having them yelling into their headsets and occupying two of the downstairs rooms. We just set limits on when they can use them.

@StreetwiseHercules thanks for explaining that to me - I didn’t realise kids had been watching tv for years 🙄.

And no I’m not confusing social media and tv. You’re obviously the expert so I’ll leave you to it.

Thank you.

Agree with this. Depression/ suicidal thoughts etc. mental health is taking a massive decline.

What’s your evidence linking this to watching television?

why don’t you go and have a look for yourself?

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3004674/

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6535678/

www.researchgate.net/publication/324087463_Media_Violence_and_Childhood_Depression

For me I'd rather they had a TV in there, where I can channel password certain channels and content - than having iPads and phones upstairs unpoliced. I don't allow them those upstairs - I let them have their phones for listening to audiobooks via sleep headphones but they stay on the landing where bluetooth will reach to the bedroom.

Youtube in particular I'm strict on - only in the downstairs areas of the house and only within certain content limits - DD1's overstretched the boundaries a couple of times and had it restricted - so they're starting to get the message that, while I appear to be very lenient as parents go, I do keep more of an actual eye on what they're up to than lots of their peers' parents.

As for the IT/SquidGame stuff - DD1 has picked up who the Pennywise character is, and the red light/green light game from school - thinks she's being so big and edgy but she seriously doesn't have a fucking clue about what they actually mean.

A little torn here as 13 you need to start allowing her to grow up but definitely put boundaries in place

Both DSC have a TV in their rooms but they can only watch dvds (they're not connected to an arial) so we know what they are watching. They tend to put a film on while they play either together or separately. I think encouraging some independent time is okay if it doesn't become the norm. We have lots of family time and to be honest the DC choose to spend the majority downstairs with us