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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think parents should stop their children talking on and on to people?

188 replies

CanIReadPls · 08/08/2022 10:30

I'm probably going to sound like an absolute Cruella Deville here but...

I was returning from abroad at the weekend. The flight was delayed and we ended up sat at the gate for a while.

There was a little girl of about 5 with her parents sat two rows in front facing me.

She came up to me and asked about a bracelet I had on - fine. Very sweet.

But then she was talking to me for agessssss. Question after question, telling me about her holiday, her birthday, her new toy and on and on. Her parents knew as well as they kept looking over to make sure she'd not disappeared.

I was very obviously reading a book. It ended up being a good half an hour, probably longer, before we were finally called to board and she went off to her parents.

AIBU to think you call your child back over to you once they've made a small amount of conversation with someone or is this totally acceptable to just leave your child going on and on at a stranger trying to read?!

I do have kids, I know they are chatterboxes sometimes and my own DC have asked people questions in the park or something before. But I'd always call them back over after a minute or two or say 'come on let the lady ready her book/walk her dog / get on with her day' or whatever.

I'd never just sit there whilst my child pestered someone for half an hour or AIBU?

OP posts:
Creepymanonagoatfarm · 08/08/2022 10:31

You need to practice smiling whilst saying please go back to your dps small dc...
I wouldn't have been happy either. They had free childcare for their wait!

LightandMomentary · 08/08/2022 10:32

Quite possibly, although realistically, the stranger might have loved kids and enjoyed the talking. I think that the onus is on you to say 'time to go back to your parents now as I'm reading my book - bye'.

KangarooKenny · 08/08/2022 10:32

YANBU. You should have charged them for the child care.

BogdashinaO · 08/08/2022 10:33

I feel it was completely on you to bring the conversation to an end. Not too quickly though, it's a wonderful social skill that my DC mainly lack.

mummymeister · 08/08/2022 10:33

So, you dont have small kids any more and small kids annoy you. It was obviously a one off incident and if this is the worse thing thats happened to you in the past week, lucky you. There are ways to deflect young children when they do this including getting up and going to the loo if it goes on longer than you want.

Original poster
CanIReadPls · 08/08/2022 10:33

LightandMomentary · 08/08/2022 10:32

Quite possibly, although realistically, the stranger might have loved kids and enjoyed the talking. I think that the onus is on you to say 'time to go back to your parents now as I'm reading my book - bye'.

I get that but I'd still call them back and then if the person said 'oh don't worry' or whatever I may let them carry on a bit longer. But I'd still always call them so I didn't seem like I was leaving my kid to natter on at them 🤣

OP posts:
Fairyliz · 08/08/2022 10:34

But surely you were delighted to talk to their perfect child? 🙄

Original poster
CanIReadPls · 08/08/2022 10:34

BogdashinaO · 08/08/2022 10:33

I feel it was completely on you to bring the conversation to an end. Not too quickly though, it's a wonderful social skill that my DC mainly lack.

Honestly I tried but she wouldn't leave me alone. Apart from literally telling her to go away which would have made me feel bad, I certainly wasn't encouraging loads of conversation.

OP posts:
Original poster
CanIReadPls · 08/08/2022 10:35

mummymeister · 08/08/2022 10:33

So, you dont have small kids any more and small kids annoy you. It was obviously a one off incident and if this is the worse thing thats happened to you in the past week, lucky you. There are ways to deflect young children when they do this including getting up and going to the loo if it goes on longer than you want.

Actually I do. One of my children is younger too.

OP posts:
Rosehugger · 08/08/2022 10:35

Yes. It's charming for children to talk to other adults around them but they also need to realise that someone might want to read a book or do something else. A quick distraction or instruction that the nice lady might want to read her book now should ensue.

Original poster
CanIReadPls · 08/08/2022 10:35

And I get it's not a terrible problem to have. Are we only allowed to post about life or death situations?

OP posts:
ilyx · 08/08/2022 10:36

YANBU

PurpleWisteria · 08/08/2022 10:36

I bet the DM was posting all over facebook about how delighted you were to chat to her wonderful daughter. Seen that so many times.

DS1 would do this if allowed. Sometimes the adult would insist he was OK when I called him back. Mainly because it gave the adult chance to talk about a hobby his own family were fed up with. I never let him linger long, even when this happened. DS2 would mutter that he was off again.

HoneyFlowers · 08/08/2022 10:38

Oh my goodness I remember going to a soft play with my MIL who was minding my child. I remember thinking I really need 10 minutes to myself to de-stress so sat in corner by myself with my eyes closed. Immediately someone else's child came over and started talking to me "I've been on the bike! I've been on the bike! I've been on the bike!"... I smiled and replied and closed my eyes and the child didn't leave me alone!!!

Passmethecrisps · 08/08/2022 10:39

I have small children and I would have called them back. Actually I wouldn’t have allowed it in the first place. I am helicopter personified and wouldn’t allow wandering. The only issue with calling them back is I would worry the person might think I was worried about them being a dodgy sort - like I didn’t want my child talking to them for my child’s sake rather than for their sake.

you don’t need to be the child catcher to want half an hour of peace with your book.

Passmethecrisps · 08/08/2022 10:41

I am always that person who spends the entire time with other people’s children chatting while the parents chill. I have no idea how they do it.

NippyWoowoo · 08/08/2022 10:42

Yea they should, but we live in a world where many people do not act as we would like. So you really should have just said 'I think you need to go back to you mummy and daddy now' and continued your book.

Stroopwaffle5000 · 08/08/2022 10:50

It drives me up the wall when I finally get some peace and quiet from my own kids and then someone else's child starts yabbering away at me. Parents should definitely be more proactive in calling their kids away, because they just don't take the hint. You have to actually say "Go away!" Which then makes you feel like shit!

FinallyHere · 08/08/2022 10:59

Honestly I tried but she wouldn't leave me alone.

Maybe her personality is just stronger and more forceful than yours.

I promise you, that if you stop making eye contact and just do not engage, a four year old will soon wander off.

It works with adults, too.

Not letting strangers waste my time is a top priority for me. I will never win any prizes for 'being kind to children and time wasters' but there again....

If you want to appear lovely to strangers, your time will be wasted.

It's all about choices.

awwbiscuits · 08/08/2022 11:02

If it was my daughter I'd probably tell her to stop bothering you after the first question.

DillAte · 08/08/2022 11:07

Just tell her to F off next time

HotWashCycle · 08/08/2022 11:24

With a young child it would be best to be completely direct as well as kind. You could say, "It has been lovely talking to you, I enjoyed it, but I don't want to talk anymore, I want to read my book now".

If they still hang around, say "I want you to go back to Mummy and Daddy now". If that doesn't work, go over to the parents and explain very politely that the child wants to talk further but you have had enough. It is important to stay your authentic self while looking after other people's feelings too.

jammiewhammie65 · 08/08/2022 11:27

I thought we were spose to be teaching our kids about stranger danger ? Some parent are just so clueless it's frightening. I think I would have chatted for a while then said oh you need to go back to mummy now bye bye and just looked at my book !

Arbesque · 08/08/2022 11:28

mummymeister · 08/08/2022 10:33

So, you dont have small kids any more and small kids annoy you. It was obviously a one off incident and if this is the worse thing thats happened to you in the past week, lucky you. There are ways to deflect young children when they do this including getting up and going to the loo if it goes on longer than you want.

I missed the memo that said we were only allowed post about the worst things that have happened to us. MNHQ will be very busy deleting most of the threads on here.

YANBU OP. After a few minutes the parents should have come over and retrieved their child.

RedHelenB · 08/08/2022 11:41

Yabu. You're the adult so say, I want to read my boom now so run along back to mummy.