To think parents should stop their children talking on and on to people?

[CanIReadPls]

I'm probably going to sound like an absolute Cruella Deville here but...

I was returning from abroad at the weekend. The flight was delayed and we ended up sat at the gate for a while.

There was a little girl of about 5 with her parents sat two rows in front facing me.

She came up to me and asked about a bracelet I had on - fine. Very sweet.

But then she was talking to me for agessssss. Question after question, telling me about her holiday, her birthday, her new toy and on and on. Her parents knew as well as they kept looking over to make sure she'd not disappeared.

I was very obviously reading a book. It ended up being a good half an hour, probably longer, before we were finally called to board and she went off to her parents.

AIBU to think you call your child back over to you once they've made a small amount of conversation with someone or is this totally acceptable to just leave your child going on and on at a stranger trying to read?!

I do have kids, I know they are chatterboxes sometimes and my own DC have asked people questions in the park or something before. But I'd always call them back over after a minute or two or say 'come on let the lady ready her book/walk her dog / get on with her day' or whatever.

I'd never just sit there whilst my child pestered someone for half an hour or AIBU?

I’ve told children to go back to their parents before then got up and escorted them back when they didn’t comply. It’s a bi5 much when you want a bit of peace and quiet!

She sounds extremely irritating but I’d have been so pissed off if someone grabbed my child by the arm to escort them back. Go and get the parents, no need to put your hands on the children.

Unless the child is the Messiah, it's perfectly acceptable to take a child by the arm and chivvy them back to parents.

I've no idea when all this 'Do NOT put your hands on my children for any reason', started but it's bloody irritating.

I am that parent in the playground, I always end up like the pied piper of bloody hamlyn because I actually play with my DD, and other children spot that so gravitate to us wanting the adult attention while their own adults are busy chatting with their friends or on their phones.

It's quite sweet for a while, until the kids get used to it and just have this expectation you'll take care of their booboo/push them on the swing/listen to them waffle or whatever, to the detriment of your own child, and come to you before they even think to ask their own parent/childminder! Oddly my DD doesn't enjoy standing next to me while I push a queue of small people on the swing instead of playing with her.

So I have had to get quite firm now - I'll happily chat but will then say "DD wants to talk to me/play with me/get pushed on the swing now, Random Child's Name, why don't you go and tell Child's Adult?"

Adults are invariably oblivious to this - I think this obliviousness is tactical because they don't want to have to deal with their kids!

I think the people telling the OP she’s being unreasonable don’t really get how some kids will just ignore even the most direct of instructions.

with that being said I agree that children shouldn’t really be grabbed by the arm or told to fuck off either.

I might have felt sad if the parents called their child back. Like they thought their child was in danger or something because I'm a stranger.

If you are talking to someone and want to read say so. Why do you need that persons relative to help you?

How would you feel if you were talking to someone and your mother/husband/child said “come back and leave that person in peace”? It’s weirdly undermining.

You're right. I'd have said 'okay now stop bothering the lady she wants to read her book' and if you wanted to chat to her you would say 'no, it's fine' and I would let her carry on, if you said nothing I'd keep her entertained myself.

Those people are using you as free childcare.

@FinneusMum true. Sad though that we have to have the rule of "don't talk to strangers". I took my cousin's kids out this weekend and lots of other children came up and talked to us/petted our dog.

Probably a limit as to what some predator can do if your are right there watching your kid. Especially in an airport departure lounge!

When I was a teen I went swimming with friends at this huge outdoor pool and this little girl just attached herself to our group and wouldn't leave. We played with her for ages. When I got home I told my mum I was shocked, what about stranger danger! My mum laughed and pointed out they parents had scored free childcare for the entire evening.

I’ve done my time as a parent of young kids, I don’t entertain other people’s any more. Tbh after a brief chat about the bracelet (because I’m not a total cow) I would just have said “sorry sweetie I’m reading my book” and ignored her.

Can I clarify this one.
Fear of undermining a child would prevent you from teaching that child boundaries?

YANBU. I have a 3 year old and wouldn't let her do this. And I wouldn't want another child coming up and talking to me for ages.

“Right, we’ll it’s been nice hearing about your birthday, but I’m going to read my book now, so you go back to your parents.”
if it takes a village to raise a child, sometimes the villagers need to put their foot down.
And the parents in this case were being borderline CFs.

Or even more blunt - Go back to your Mum. I'm reading.

The onus is on the parent, most people are polite and would chat for 5 minutes then the parents should remove them

How would you feel if you were talking to someone and your mother/husband/child said “come back and leave that person in peace”? It’s weirdly undermining.

Undermining a small child by stepping in to stop them potentially bothering other people? What else would you let a child do just in case you undermined them?

I was once in a local cafe with my 2 DC having breakfast. One of the school mums (whos DS was a friend of my DS) came in with her kids (DS and younger DD) She sat at a table with some friends and their DC while her kids joined us at out table !
She was chatting away with her friends oblivious ( she had form for this) and making no attempt to retrieve her children while they proceeded to make themselves at home and get toys etc from the box in the cafe to play with. I told them firmly to go and sit with their mum and ushered them away - I was spending time with my kids, not entertaining someone else's - I would never let my kids impose themselves on someone else like this. I can't believe people suggesting that the onus was on the OP to tell the child to go away and not the parents to retrieve their child !

it isn’t the parents fault! They might have thought you enjoyed being chatted to by their little darling!

I would have said to her ‘ how lovely - I have a headache so I’m going to have some quiet time now.’ And put my head down in the book and ignored her. Or put my ear phones in!
It might have felt rude but some kids you need to be very blunt with !

it isn’t the parents fault! They might have thought you enjoyed being chatted to by their little darling!

I think it's the parents' responsibility to check their child isn't bothering others.

…but the parents weren’t retrieving their child.
So the onus was on OP.

but the parents weren’t retrieving their child .So the onus was on OP.

Well, yes. But OP's question is about whether it's reasonable to expect the parents to step in. Obviously in a situation where they aren't, OP could/should have done it.

yanbu but the parents are cheeky and just enjoying her leaving them alone for a minute, so you’re left to it.