To think parents should stop their children talking on and on to people?

[CanIReadPls]

I'm probably going to sound like an absolute Cruella Deville here but...

I was returning from abroad at the weekend. The flight was delayed and we ended up sat at the gate for a while.

There was a little girl of about 5 with her parents sat two rows in front facing me.

She came up to me and asked about a bracelet I had on - fine. Very sweet.

But then she was talking to me for agessssss. Question after question, telling me about her holiday, her birthday, her new toy and on and on. Her parents knew as well as they kept looking over to make sure she'd not disappeared.

I was very obviously reading a book. It ended up being a good half an hour, probably longer, before we were finally called to board and she went off to her parents.

AIBU to think you call your child back over to you once they've made a small amount of conversation with someone or is this totally acceptable to just leave your child going on and on at a stranger trying to read?!

I do have kids, I know they are chatterboxes sometimes and my own DC have asked people questions in the park or something before. But I'd always call them back over after a minute or two or say 'come on let the lady ready her book/walk her dog / get on with her day' or whatever.

I'd never just sit there whilst my child pestered someone for half an hour or AIBU?

[aurynne]

I had an experience like this once when my now Ex-DH and I were getting ready to order in a restaurant. this 5 or 6 y.o. girl started talking to me. She was very cute, so I had a short talk with her and then our food arrived. She kept talking. I asked her to go back to their parents as we were eating and we'd like to talk to each other, but she just kept talking non stop. I had enough when she actually started picking stuff from my plate with her fingers and eating it. I grabbed her by the arm, carted her back to her family's table (no one had even bothered to check where she was all this time) and told them to keep their child with them and explain to her why it is extremely rude to steal food from strangers.

The parents glared at me as if it had all been my fault and I was a horrible person!

[Stichintimesavesstapling]

Put your hair down, then point to your ear pretending you have earphones and loudly say you are listening to music and can't hear her.

[KeepingUpWithTheKs]

My 4 year old has a habit of talking non stop to people so I always step in and remind her to stop chewing people's ears off and to leave them be and encourage her to go and play or carry on with whatever shes's doing etc.

I wouldn't dream of just letting her ramble on and on to people without intervening.

[Sockwomble]

Yanbu. Parents do actually need to be monitoring if the other person wants the interaction at all. I have a severely autistic teenager and we have had problems with free range toddlers and young children coming over and my son showing visible signs of discomfort and parents not moving them or calling them back (usually because they are not watching them).

[Buttercupsx]

The art of conversation is dying

[girlfriend44]

why didnt you put your book down and chat to her and the family. It never ceases to amaze me how people can chat on forums but dont want to make conversation with ppl in real life.

You can read your book in bed or another time.

[Livpool]

My DS can talk for hours about anything. If he is talking to a stranger I call him back to us after no longer than 5 minutes.

No one else needs to suffer
😂

[MintJulia]

Why didn't you say 'I'm going to read my book now. Time to go back to your mum.'

[balalake]

It is probably of help to the child for her parents to call her back. Learning when conversations should be short is a useful life skill, and indeed may help a child make or keep friends.

[Kup]

I think you were daft to let her continue. Kids always want to talk to me and I'm happy to for a short while but then I just tell them I don't want to talk anymore and I repeat it until they leave. It's not difficult,

[Fortyisthenewthirty]

As the mother of a similarly talkative child it's a dilemma I have often. My son will happily bore for England to whoever will listen, doesn't matter if it's a stranger. He isn't quite of an age where he reads social cues accurately so he doesn't always understand who wants to talk and who doesn't.

YANBU - unless you were giving off all the wrong cues, its very unlikely this girls parents didn't know they should intervene. I always rescue people who clearly don't want to talk to my son, and would normally do the "come back over here DS, the lady is trying to read her book" strategy to test if I wasn't sure.

[rainbowmilk]

@girlfriend44

why didnt you put your book down and chat to her and the family. It never ceases to amaze me how people can chat on forums but dont want to make conversation with ppl in real life.

You can read your book in bed or another time.

Because children normally talk utter rubbish and enduring it for half an hour is their parents’ job?

[BeanieTeen]

YANBU.
I think it’s also weird to let your kids just go up to strangers to start a conversation.

[squashyhat]

How hard can it be?

You give her 5 minutes attention and then say "I'm reading - please go back to your parents".

If that doesn't work you say to the parents "I'm trying to read - please tell your child to leave me alone".

[TeapotTitties]

I was going to suggest you should've got your phone out and told her to go back to her mum, because you needed to read something.

Then you mentioned you already had a book, so why on earth did you let this go on for half and hour??

[SleepingStandingUp]

I have a kid who loves talking to strangers and struggles to pick up the social skills to know when to stop. So I try and pick up the social skills and tell him to stop. Yanbu

Sometimes I've tried to shut him up and the adult has said "no it's fine" and carried on talking. Then it's on them. But someone reading / ear plugs in / etc is a Def "ok now, let's leave the lady to read" moment

[SleepingStandingUp]

@girlfriend44

why didnt you put your book down and chat to her and the family. It never ceases to amaze me how people can chat on forums but dont want to make conversation with ppl in real life.

You can read your book in bed or another time.

I have three kids at home I talk to. Or get talked at to. If I've got rare time alone, I don't want to talk to YOUR kid. I don't get time to read at home because I'm contractually required to pretend DS is a fascinating chatterer.

Not to mention not everyone liked kids and young kids are often repetitive and boring

[Sandinmyknickers]

I don't agree with PPs that the onus is on you, ad the adult to end the conversation. Small children generally don't pick up on social cues so you would need to be pretty blunt which could then upset the child and/or their parents.
After 5 mins, the parents should say "come one now, stop bothering the lady" and if you don't mind, you reply "oh it's no bother" and keep talking to her, and if you do, you just smile and say "it was lovely talking to you. Have a nice rest of your day" and pull out your book/phone.

Much easier all round and the parents should have done that IMO.

Yanbu

[ShirleyPhallus]

@aurynne

I had an experience like this once when my now Ex-DH and I were getting ready to order in a restaurant. this 5 or 6 y.o. girl started talking to me. She was very cute, so I had a short talk with her and then our food arrived. She kept talking. I asked her to go back to their parents as we were eating and we'd like to talk to each other, but she just kept talking non stop. I had enough when she actually started picking stuff from my plate with her fingers and eating it. I grabbed her by the arm, carted her back to her family's table (no one had even bothered to check where she was all this time) and told them to keep their child with them and explain to her why it is extremely rude to steal food from strangers.

The parents glared at me as if it had all been my fault and I was a horrible person!

She sounds extremely irritating but I’d have been so pissed off if someone grabbed my child by the arm to escort them back. Go and get the parents, no need to put your hands on the children.

As for telling a child to fuck off 😮

[kiki22]

I love kids but this would annoy me. Yes you can say ok time to go to your parents but the parents should have been coming to retrieve their child. My 5 year old talks to people everywhere we go and can talk for ages I make sure to teach him social skills by not allowing him to annoy strangers talking about 5 year old things.

5 mins ok even 10 if the person looks like they are enjoying the chat but any longer is taking the piss.

[IdasFlowers]

I'd have answered the first few questions then said "I'm going to read my book now" and done so and ignored any further comments.

[ClottedCreamAndStrawberries]

Oh gosh yes, I’ve had this. I always called my kids back ASAP, that’s if I even allowed them to go. Tbh, I’m not as polite as you. Once they’ve told me about their holiday/dog/hat etc, I just look for the parents and tell them that their child is here and they need to collect them. If they don’t, I walk the child over over.

[SleepingStandingUp]

@ShirleyPhallus

She sounds extremely irritating but I’d have been so pissed off if someone grabbed my child by the arm to escort them back. Go and get the parents, no need to put your hands on the children.

As for telling a child to fuck off 😮

If the parents had actually bothrred parenting their child, it wouldn't have required anyone to physically move her away from pinching someone else's food in a restaurant fgs. It's have expected the parents to cover the cost of a new meal