To be mad at DH over his stupid fucking car

[Shutuppppp]

Years ago DH bought a ridiculously expensive (and loud) car with a huge roaring engine. The sound this stupid thing makes when he starts it up is embarrassing.

I am absolutely ready to take a baseball bat to it. We have a young child (13 months) and I do 99% of the overnights as DH works a lot.

He sleeps better than he used to as a newborn obviously but he's been ill the past couple of weeks and has been up and down, often waking at about 3 and then going back to sleep, or trying at least.

But then 6:30am comes and this stupid fucking beast on our driveway starts up and wakes him up and I've just had enough of it. I'm so mad about this ridiculous fucking car.

DH doesn't know what I expect him to do and I don't really know either, all I know is it pisses me off and I'm mad at him about it. Get the fucking bus or something, I don't care just don't wake DC (and me after being up and down all night) with your stupid fucking toy.

Honestly I often wish I'd wake up in the morning to someone having stolen it in the night.

You could be my neighbours, except they don't have a 13mo. 6 bastard fucking 15 every week day morning he starts his stupid souped up Mini then sits there for what feels like forever with it idling away.

I spoke to him about it once and he said he knew and it was booked in at the garage in a couple of days. It came back louder! 🤬

I'm not getting into a row with him about it as they're nice neighbours, but I curse that car every week day morning 🤬

I think that while the baby is poorly he should park it on the street, it’s insured if anything happens to it. Either that or you swap cars for a week.

Firstly he's not 17, he doesn't need to have fun that wakes his baby up and secondly how does being able to afford one car mean you can buy a second one? How does that work? Does it apply to cheaper cards too , I have a car but can't work out how that means I can afford another one

Its a nightmare trying to maneuver the car seat but regardless he wouldn't let me drive it any way!

Yes so he can afford a secondary quieter car.

I'm finding the comments about a small penis and sneering at his toy car a bit odd, as though posters think he's beneath them.

YADNBU. One of our neighbours that (according to google maps) lives 55 metres away from us and had a Lambo for a while. He used to go to work at 6am every day but I think the car needed to "warm up" before it went anywhere, so it would roar in to life, set off one of the other neighbour's annoying arse dog (another thread in itself) then sit there for 10 mins before (admittedly slowly) trundling along the road rumbling loudly the whole time. I think the whole neighbourhood was glad when it seemed to be a passing phase midlife crisis that only lasted a few months.

Your DH needs to start parking somewhere else. Or putting the noisy car in a garage and buying a cheap runaround for the week.

Used examples can be as low as £40k and they hold their value now as most seemed to have bottomed out the depreciation curve

but what’s the point of this post - does the £100k valuation change anything for OP’s dilemna @despairingdonut ?

I call it a toy car because I think it's ridiculous when you have a family. A family that can't even fit in it (we have older DC too).

I hope his inconsideration for his own family doesn’t extend to others in your area. A few of my neighbours have big modified motorcycles (to make them extra loud) which allows them to go roaring around setting off car alarms at all hours of the day and night. Arseholes!

Someone in my road starts up a loud motorbike at 6.30 every morning so I feel your pain

YANBU.

He's basically saying "I don't give a shit about you or the kid I'm a massive manchild who wants a car to go VRRROOOM!"

Twat.

I would wonder if you lived near me except the dimwit that leaves around the same time in the morning and wakes me, parks his on the road. Bloody noisy sod!

Well there’s at least two, because that was my first thought.
Let the poor bugger enjoy his car FFS.
Many working people are up and about at 6.30, it’s not especially early.

Tell him he has options:

1. sort out the noise - previous posters I clearly know this car have given technical advice


2. sell it and buy something sensible


3. do all the night wakings do you can cope with the 6.3O starts with a crying baby

If he refuses any of the above, hide the keys.

Let the poor bugger enjoy his car FFS

Screw his tired baby right? Long as he gets to enjoy his car.

He is displaying a complete and utter lack of respect for you and your DC - is he like that in other areas of his life, or just when it comes to this car? That would be a massive turn-off for me. (Tell me he's not a self-professed petrol head, the most boring amongst the human species...).

Are you genuinely pissed off and ready to walk at his lack of consideration, or are you just a bit fed up but generally tolerant of his broom broom in an eye-rollingly 'boys will be boys' type way?

he starts his stupid souped up Mini then sits there for what feels like forever with it idling away.

But OP's DH is not doing this, like your neighbour.

He's just starting the car, and driving away. The noise is just a few seconds long.

If you can't actually fit into the car as a family, how do you go anywhere?

This has GOT to be a man talking?

So because he's "earning money" he has the right to be a selfish prick then? Maybe OP should stomp about playing loud music when he's trying to go to sleep at night and baby is awake too - after all she works and is looking after the baby?

Id be annoyed too OP - it's a really stupid and inconsiderate thing for him to have done.

So that's a wider problem & makes sense to reconsider this car.

You need to clearly talk to DH, your resentment is really clear here.

As much as I get a loud noise waking up the baby being annoying, it's a seconds-long noise, and I think it's an over-reaction (on that part), lots of things can wake babies and the normal noise of starting a car (even this one with a loud engine) just needs to be accepted.

But he's just driving his car!

C'mon this is - on its own - an over-reaction.

But it sounds like a) you're already exhausted from doing most of the child-related work and b) the car is impractical in other ways - so address both those issues, which are valid.

Nope not a man. What I mean is he's going off to work at that time, not for a joy ride.

I sometimes think I'm on a parallel universe when I read MN. 'Don't you want him to have any fun?', 'He's out earning money so he deserves it', 'It's only a few minutes of noise a day' all missing the point completely. Some women really will make excuses for pretty much any bad behaviour in men.

OP, your DH is incredibly selfish. I'd be annoyed to be woken up unnecessarily at any time, but if my baby was too, and I then had to deal with a crying, tired baby, I'd be absolutely furious.

Unfortunately though, there's sweet FA you can do about it if he refuses to sell it. Is he normally this self centred, or is it just a blind spot when it comes to his precious toy?

White noise is your friend here. Or even a fan on in the baby’s room. Anything that will drown out or at least dampen the noise from the car starting.

If the family can’t even fit in it then it needs to go. Your kids sound like they are young but pretty soon you’re going to get to the stage where on the weekend you’re heading in different directions, taking kids to sports and parties etc. You need family cars, both of you.