Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be mad at DH over his stupid fucking car

258 replies

Shutuppppp · 08/08/2022 06:50

Years ago DH bought a ridiculously expensive (and loud) car with a huge roaring engine. The sound this stupid thing makes when he starts it up is embarrassing.

I am absolutely ready to take a baseball bat to it. We have a young child (13 months) and I do 99% of the overnights as DH works a lot.

He sleeps better than he used to as a newborn obviously but he's been ill the past couple of weeks and has been up and down, often waking at about 3 and then going back to sleep, or trying at least.

But then 6:30am comes and this stupid fucking beast on our driveway starts up and wakes him up and I've just had enough of it. I'm so mad about this ridiculous fucking car.

DH doesn't know what I expect him to do and I don't really know either, all I know is it pisses me off and I'm mad at him about it. Get the fucking bus or something, I don't care just don't wake DC (and me after being up and down all night) with your stupid fucking toy.

Honestly I often wish I'd wake up in the morning to someone having stolen it in the night.

OP posts:
Agrudge · 08/08/2022 08:23

*Waste money

Original poster
Shutuppppp · 08/08/2022 08:24

Agrudge · 08/08/2022 08:23

But he enjoys the car he has. Why waste getting another one for what is probably a few seconds on noise

Show quote history

Because it's not just a few seconds of noise. It's a few seconds of noise and then dealing with a grumpy baby who's been woken up by it when we are already both knackered.

OP posts:
JazzHandsYeah · 08/08/2022 08:26

YANBU in the slightest.

Agrudge · 08/08/2022 08:28

Shutuppppp · 08/08/2022 08:24

Because it's not just a few seconds of noise. It's a few seconds of noise and then dealing with a grumpy baby who's been woken up by it when we are already both knackered.

Show quote history

What way does he park into your drive?

Ting20161987 · 08/08/2022 08:29

Do not get him to park it down the street outside someone elses house to not disturb your child, as he will then be disturbing that household. I have a neighbour that leaves for work at 4.45am every morning and his truck is ridiculously loud, in the winter he moves his car outside my house so as not to disturb his household while he leaves the engine running to defrost his windows. (four 20/30 mins as well) It winds me the hell up. I actually want to sell up and move as `I am sick of being woke at 4.45 every morning by him.....not like I can moan as he is going out to work. But I do wish he would stop parking outside my house so he doesn't wake his household up but happily will disturb mine

NoMichaelNo · 08/08/2022 08:29

Is your husband not allowed to have any fun OP?

It's an R8, it's going to be loud during the ignition sequence.

Frankly if your husband can afford the R8 he can afford a secondary quieter car but no way would I recommend manipulating him into getting rid of it.

Thepeopleversuswork · 08/08/2022 08:31

It feels like there's more to this post than meets the eye.
I would find this irritating as well but I'm getting the impression the car is a bit of a red herring and you're more frustrated at his lack of support and participation in domestic life and childcare. Am I right?

ValerieDoonican · 08/08/2022 08:32

Start referring to it as "your vroom-vroom" car.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 08/08/2022 08:33

@Agrudge

Getting stressed over the car starting up is a choice

Are you for real?

Their baby is being woken up by it every morning. After 3 hours of sleep.

Should the OP choose not to tend to her crying son too? Or being tired?

OP, I'm with you all the way on this. He needs to sell that car and buy and quite one for now at least.

And it wont be I'll forever

Oh do naff off. Their son is forever, not a stupid car.

PinkPanther50 · 08/08/2022 08:33

My partner had an R8. It has a thing called cold start so when you switch it on it revs really high for a minute or so to warm the engine so it doesn’t get damaged when driving which is why it’s louder when first started. Tbf after the first few times we never really ‘heard’ it, but then We do live near an airfield and don’t hear them either

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 08/08/2022 08:34

Quieter not quite (sorry, typo).

gogohmm · 08/08/2022 08:34

Try having high performance motorbikes! Very noisy things, it's not just us either of the 16 people in our garages 6 have motorcycles and I don't mean scooters! Luckily nobody starts work early, dp leaves at 8.45

WilsonMilson · 08/08/2022 08:34

This sounds like an excessive amount of resentment towards your husband for something that’s only annoying, noise wise, for a few minutes a day. If we are in a good place in the relationship, we can usually forgive small things like this.

Is the feeling about the car a symptom of a larger picture of resentment?

HSKAT · 08/08/2022 08:34

My neighbour has a noisy car like this.
It wakes everyone up in the street and we can hear him coming home through the estate.
I tube your feeling more angry as your the one left with a grumpy baby everyday.
Would white noise drown it out?

Original poster
Shutuppppp · 08/08/2022 08:35

NoMichaelNo · 08/08/2022 08:29

Is your husband not allowed to have any fun OP?

It's an R8, it's going to be loud during the ignition sequence.

Frankly if your husband can afford the R8 he can afford a secondary quieter car but no way would I recommend manipulating him into getting rid of it.

Of course he is. I don't have a problem if he wants to use it for an every now and then "fun" car, as you say he can buy another car for day to day.

Frankly yes it annoys me though. Maybe I'd love a small sports car (I don't but hypothetically), but one of us has to be practical and consider we're a family and not a single bloke.

OP posts:
Shlomping1234 · 08/08/2022 08:36

My old neighbour had a car like this and would wake us at half 4 when leaving for work. I had many a ding done with him when he woke my newborn several times. I was so pleased when he crashed it! (He wasn't injured, I'm not that sick)

whatstheteamarie · 08/08/2022 08:36

If DH wants to keep his car then surely he has to do the night wakings, knowing that you're going to be unnecessarily woken by the baby at 6.30am when he leaves.

If he's not prepared to do the night wakings and keep the car, he can't love it that much and therefore it needs to go.

If his toy is fucking up the sleep of the rest of the house, then it's him who needs to make the sacrifices (lack of sleep) to have it, no one else.

despairingdonut · 08/08/2022 08:36

Aren't R8s like £100k?

EarringsandLipstick · 08/08/2022 08:36

WilsonMilson · 08/08/2022 08:34

This sounds like an excessive amount of resentment towards your husband for something that’s only annoying, noise wise, for a few minutes a day. If we are in a good place in the relationship, we can usually forgive small things like this.

Is the feeling about the car a symptom of a larger picture of resentment?

My thoughts exactly.

I do understand the annoyance of DS waking up though.

drawacircleroundit · 08/08/2022 08:37

Insist that he doesn’t park it in your driveway. If this affects the insurance, so be it. but then…do you have neighbours or are you rural?

Original poster
Shutuppppp · 08/08/2022 08:37

WilsonMilson · 08/08/2022 08:34

This sounds like an excessive amount of resentment towards your husband for something that’s only annoying, noise wise, for a few minutes a day. If we are in a good place in the relationship, we can usually forgive small things like this.

Is the feeling about the car a symptom of a larger picture of resentment?

It's not the fact it's only annoying for a few minutes. It's not a few minutes when I then have to tend to a crying annoyed baby afterwards.

OP posts:
drawacircleroundit · 08/08/2022 08:39

whatstheteamarie · 08/08/2022 08:36

If DH wants to keep his car then surely he has to do the night wakings, knowing that you're going to be unnecessarily woken by the baby at 6.30am when he leaves.

If he's not prepared to do the night wakings and keep the car, he can't love it that much and therefore it needs to go.

If his toy is fucking up the sleep of the rest of the house, then it's him who needs to make the sacrifices (lack of sleep) to have it, no one else.

👆Oooh, this. And if you could relay, verbatim, his response, that would be great!
Yes - he does more of the night feeds. Unless yabu and have to be up for work at 7am anyway.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 08/08/2022 08:40

An interest in sports cars does not equal a small penis. A small penis is not something that should be mocked just like with any other body part. Bullying behaviour by people on this thread by people who I'm sure would be upset if we poked fun at their bodies.

I'm a bit torn here OP. Becoming a parent shouldnt mean we stop being the people we are with our own interests. It would be a huge shame to sell such a nice and sought after car, especially if it means something to him.

That said, he does need to consider the needs of the family. 6.30 is too early for a loud car to wake everyone up, especially if you and baby haven't been sleeping well due to illness. You should be able to have a lie-in in your own home or wake up not to a loud engine.
Is there no compromise? Can he get a cheap run around? Can he take the bus?

If he is unwilling to do anything then I think you have a bigger problem with him and his views of other people.

Agrudge · 08/08/2022 08:40

whatstheteamarie · 08/08/2022 08:36

If DH wants to keep his car then surely he has to do the night wakings, knowing that you're going to be unnecessarily woken by the baby at 6.30am when he leaves.

If he's not prepared to do the night wakings and keep the car, he can't love it that much and therefore it needs to go.

If his toy is fucking up the sleep of the rest of the house, then it's him who needs to make the sacrifices (lack of sleep) to have it, no one else.

It's his mode of transport not a toy

Chesneyhawkes1 · 08/08/2022 08:41

I love R8's! I've got a really really quiet Kia I can swap it for 😁🙏🏼 sure he'd be over the moon 😂

Swipe left for the next trending thread