Page 9 | To tell DH not to leave DS in the car while he pays for petrol?

myhouseisafairycastle · 2022-08-07T16:35:34+00:00

DH insists on leaving our 4.5 yo DS in the car when he goes into the petrol station to pay. I have asked him time and again to take DS with him but he still does it. What makes it worse is that the car alarm is sensitive so he leaves the car unlocked otherwise the alarm goes off. DS also knows how to let himself sleep out of his car seat and the car. For context, we live in a remote rural area so pay at pump doesn’t exist here. He did it again yesterday and I’m fuming.

JockTamsonsBairns · 07/08/2022 23:32

unicormb · 07/08/2022 20:02

I always always use pay at pump so this doesn't have to happen. It's everywhere so why not just do that?

It's one thing not bothering to RTFT, but not reading the actual OP is something else altogether.
The Op made it clear, she's in a remote, rural area where pay at the pump doesn't exist.

BeanieTeen · 07/08/2022 23:44

No one is saying it’s ideal to leave a child in the car. It’s simply a necessity of everyday life. Some people have twins or 2 under 2 or whatever, it simply isn’t practical to take them out. And if they can then be left in the car, so can a child on its own. It takes 2 minutes, if that, to and pay for fuel. It’s a calculated risk. As I said upthread if you’re that risk averse you shouldn’t be driving with your kids full stop - the chances of them dying in a crash is a lot more significant than being kidnapped from a forecourt or being caught up in a petrol explosion. No one is crying in outrage at toddlers being in cars on the motorway going at 70mph. But woe betide anyone leaving them in a stationary car, still strapped in their seats as you take 2 minutes to pay for fuel at a till where you can still see them them through the window.

JockTamsonsBairns · 07/08/2022 23:49

BeanieTeen · 07/08/2022 23:44

No one is saying it’s ideal to leave a child in the car. It’s simply a necessity of everyday life. Some people have twins or 2 under 2 or whatever, it simply isn’t practical to take them out. And if they can then be left in the car, so can a child on its own. It takes 2 minutes, if that, to and pay for fuel. It’s a calculated risk. As I said upthread if you’re that risk averse you shouldn’t be driving with your kids full stop - the chances of them dying in a crash is a lot more significant than being kidnapped from a forecourt or being caught up in a petrol explosion. No one is crying in outrage at toddlers being in cars on the motorway going at 70mph. But woe betide anyone leaving them in a stationary car, still strapped in their seats as you take 2 minutes to pay for fuel at a till where you can still see them them through the window.

Agree with this.
But some people are completely unable to assess risk in any meaningful way, and have disaster type scenarios in their mind.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 08/08/2022 00:24

I generally use pay at pump or fill car when kids at school. If I had to go the garage to pay I'd always leave them in car (locked but alarm off).

Herejustforthisone · 08/08/2022 07:33

I always left mine in the car while I paid. It seemed way safer (and a lot easier) than schlepping across a forecourt with a baby/toddler/child. I did probably lock it though.

Who cares if the alarm goes off? All he needs to do is unlock and then re lock with the remote and it’ll stop. Or just turn the sensor off.

Inthesameboatatmo · 08/08/2022 08:03

00100001 · 07/08/2022 22:51

How many people actually got injured? How many children left in cars got injured in those 10 years?

Show quote history

@0000100001 .

Quite a few actually. It's not so much the actual car accidents prangs etc. People don't realise just how much fuel is spilled by people filling up their cars an a daily basis that's overlooked by people.

milkysmum · 08/08/2022 08:07

i always left both of mine in the car when paying for petrol. i'm pretty sure most people to. someone walking onto a garage forecourt and stealing a car with a child in is very unlikely to happy!

milkysmum · 08/08/2022 08:08

happen not happy

LadyDanburysHat · 08/08/2022 17:45

Only on Mumsnet have I heard of people taking their kids out of the car to pay for fuel. And I always assumed that it was people in cities who were worried about car jackers or something.

I'd love to know what the OP thinks will happen.

jesst81 · 08/08/2022 17:52

Not a chance in hell would I leave my child in the car. But I grew up in South Africa !

CelestiaNoctis · 08/08/2022 18:25

I enjoyed the story of a man who followed his wife because she kept doing this. And while she was paying he took their baby out the car and waited across the car park while she panicked. Its a very stupid thing to do and I can't believe so many people agree with it. Especially at nearly 5 years old, they can easily come out the car with you quickly. Some people don't value their children as much as others I guess 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

ItsDangerousInKingsmarkham · 08/08/2022 18:32

Some people don't value their children as much as others I guess

I value my children so choose to keep them as safe as I possibly can. By keeping them in the car instead of traipsing them across a forecourt.

BeanieTeen · 08/08/2022 18:34

I enjoyed the story of a man who followed his wife because she kept doing this. And while she was paying he took their baby out the car and waited across the car park while she panicked. Its a very stupid thing to do and I can't believe so many people agree with it. Especially at nearly 5 years old, they can easily come out the car with you quickly. Some people don't value their children as much as others I guess 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Yes, because as opposed to leaving your child in the car, as most people do, that’s a very reasonable thing to do ‘I guess’ 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Fucking deranged. In a custody case it’s that kind of batshit behaviour that would lose you points big time. Not the normal action of leaving your child in the car whilst paying for petrol.
But yeah, you go ahead and ‘enjoy’ reading about those kind of psychopath actions because that’s not weird and sick at all…

Blossomtoes · 08/08/2022 18:34

Some people don't value their children as much as others I guess

Some people are better at risk assessment than others I guess.

sunsetsandsandybeaches · 08/08/2022 18:34

CelestiaNoctis · 08/08/2022 18:25

I enjoyed the story of a man who followed his wife because she kept doing this. And while she was paying he took their baby out the car and waited across the car park while she panicked. Its a very stupid thing to do and I can't believe so many people agree with it. Especially at nearly 5 years old, they can easily come out the car with you quickly. Some people don't value their children as much as others I guess 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Any husband who plays a "trick" like that must be sick in the head.

woodhill · 08/08/2022 18:38

It never occurred to me not to leave them in the car till I was on mumsnet

woodhill · 08/08/2022 18:39

CelestiaNoctis · 08/08/2022 18:25

I enjoyed the story of a man who followed his wife because she kept doing this. And while she was paying he took their baby out the car and waited across the car park while she panicked. Its a very stupid thing to do and I can't believe so many people agree with it. Especially at nearly 5 years old, they can easily come out the car with you quickly. Some people don't value their children as much as others I guess 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

What a horrible thing to do

Teatotal2 · 08/08/2022 18:44

Ontomatopea · 07/08/2022 17:39

So dangerous. What if someone nicks the car or there's a spark and a fire. Or kid gets out and gets hit by a car. Petrol stations aren't a safe place for kids.

Are you for real?🙄

Scotland32 · 08/08/2022 18:46

Weekendawaynightmare · 07/08/2022 17:40

Couldn't get worked up about this. I assume the till isn't miles from the forecourt and he can likely see the car at all times.

Tell him to turn the sensor off and lock it.

The only time I'd agree is if there happened to be a huge queue for some reason and it was likely to take a while to pay.

This!

SofaLola33 · 08/08/2022 19:12

Can you not compromise? Just explain that it makes you feel a certain way but you understand that it’s a bit of a faff getting DS in and out, so it would make you feel a lot better if he can at least lock him in whilst he goes to pay.

Pickanee · 08/08/2022 19:49

I always took mine (or filled up alone) because I was once in a forecourt when a car set on fire and the evac point was away from the forecourt. It was really alarming and the flames licked the roof really quickly. It’s extremely rare and I’ve never seen it again. Still gives me the shivers when I think about it.

saffy2 · 08/08/2022 19:50

I’ve lived all over the country and abroad and have been driving for over 20 years and have never, not once, ever seen a parent take a child into a petrol station. I literally never believe any one who says they do, and usually it’s everyone on threads like these. And I’m like, really 🤔 I don’t believe it. It is an utter ballache to even contemplate it, so nobody does it. Which is why in the space of over 20 years all over the world I have never seen a child being taken into a petrol station. Your dh is totally reasonable and normal, and you are the abnormality if you take your child in as far as I have seen! 😂

pigeonstreet123 · 08/08/2022 19:54

Its fine. I do it. It usually takes 60 secs
To run in and pay

I lock the car through. My 4.5 yo knows to
Stay put. If the alarm goes off, I'm right there in 20 seconds anyhow

Plunger · 08/08/2022 19:55

Child proof locks! More dangerous having children wandering round petrol forecourts. and my DS used to kick up a fuss and refuse to get in his seat. Once in not getting him out. If you have triplets in car seats how are you supposed to carry 3 baby seats? Once older you can only hold 2 hands, so need eyes in the back of your head to see what No3 is doing.

pigeonstreet123 · 08/08/2022 19:58

It's highly unlikely the car will blow up

And do cars get nicked from petrol station forecourts often? They would have to work
Incredibly fast!

And they're going to have to he a thief who wants a 4.5 year old too. A car thief/kidnapper opportunist who can work super fast. Under a minute

Obviously nobody is leaving the key in

🙈