To tell DH not to leave DS in the car while he pays for petrol?

[myhouseisafairycastle]

DH insists on leaving our 4.5 yo DS in the car when he goes into the petrol station to pay. I have asked him time and again to take DS with him but he still does it. What makes it worse is that the car alarm is sensitive so he leaves the car unlocked otherwise the alarm goes off. DS also knows how to let himself sleep out of his car seat and the car. For context, we live in a remote rural area so pay at pump doesn’t exist here. He did it again yesterday and I’m fuming.

@CelestiaNoctis

You enjoyed that story?

Yes.

I asked my husband and he's never and would never left ours on his own in the car, buying petrol or anything else in a shop.

I wouldn't like it either. I usually try to use pay at the pump, but when we can't I always take both of mine in with me to pay, as does DH. They're 3 and 7. I've heard plenty of stories of cars being stolen with children in the back. None of children being mowed down on petrol forecourts whilst holding their mother's hand.

Turn sensor button off. Child locks on. Keep an eye on him from the kiosk. I do think you are being unreasonable tbh.

Exactly. Fair enough if you want to leave your kids in the car while you fill up. But just own up to the fact that you can't be arsed getting them out of the car, instead of peddling this "they're safer in the car" nonsense. This is nothing about "risk assessment" and all about laziness.

Much better not to have your children at a petrol station at all really. Not sure why people are not advocating for this.
(all those things could happen while the adult was filling up the car)

You are not being unreasonable. I'm a retired fire-fighter and have been to far too many car fires. I never left my children in the car.

So.. how many children left in cars got actually injured...?

If it happens, I hope it's not yours

Feel free to let me know the numbers for injured children sitting unattended in cars in petrol forecourts in the UK.

I'll wait.

In fact, find me the numbers for ANY injuries to people in unattended cars in UK forecourts.

Sorry, but you just don’t see people carting their children into petrol stations when they pay. As others have said, surely this would be more dangerous. And at this age they should be able to understand they must not get out the car.

Pedestrians are the biggest number in this report. And whilst it isn't at forecourts, the figure of 70% of all killing and serious injuries in children are pedestrians. So it is indicative that a child walking across a petrol forecourt is at higher risk of KSI than a non pedestrian (eg sitting inside a car)

It stands to reason that a child is at greater risk of injury when walking between moving cars that have limited visibility.

People going "ahhh! But what if there was a fire????"

If there was a fire, which is incredibly rare anyway, the chances of a child being injured form that are so rare... It never happens. Find me a recent case where an unattended child, sat in a car in a petrol station was killed or seriously injured from a fire... Go on.

I used to work in a servo, rural one too
I hated watching parents wrangle kids into the shop over the forecourt. We were only a smaller servo and yet people still raced their car in like they would miss out if they didnt, was only a matter of time for the near miss to become the hit kid.
Kids much safer staying in the car for a few minutes, even if your alarm goes off. I put money on person behind the counter would rather your alarm go off and you take a 2nd to turn it off or leave it and finish paying over being the one to have to call the ambulance for your kid

Yabu , with tap and pay it takes less than 30 seconds to pay. If I was to unstrap my son(2.5y), take him in, Plus strapping him back in. it would take way longer.

Quite apart from the fact that its better to leave him in the car, why does OP think she gets to tell the other parent how to behave?

🙄
And just how frequently does this happen where you live?
I never took my DCs in to pay, far safer left in the car.

I’m always amazed by people who think it’s safer to leave small children in a car and risk the 0.00001% chance of some random theft/explosion occuring than it is to lug them across a busy forecourt where cars very often don’t look where they’re going or drive away far too fast. I’ve seen a young woman being hit in a forecourt by another car not looking properly - she was fine, she was knocked over but just faintly bruised. but if that had been a child it could’ve been a different story.

To be fair of course you can tell another parent how to parent if you think they're putting your child's safety at risk

If I left my son (6) in the car by himself he would be out of his car seat like a whippet. He is a well behaved child but the temptation to sit in the drivers seat would be too much. I'd worry that he would hit the handbrake button and roll. Even if he sat still I would worry that the driver behind lost concentration and rear ended our car.

No judgement on you all but for me, he seems safer with me holding his hand... as opposed to sitting in the car bored looking for things to press.

But he’s not putting their child at risk.

Imagine if a woman came on saying her OH kept bossing her about and was ‘fuming’ about perfectly safe parenting choices

@LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet no but she felt like he was.

That's what I'm saying. It's understandable to comment on someone's parenting if you feel what they're doing is unsafe. Then you can discuss it and might be proven wrong - like the OP - but if you think a child is at risk it's fine to speak up.

This

I never take DS3 into the petrol station with me. He can’t open the back door from the inside and wouldn’t try to get out anyway. I usually just lock it to be double safe.
I’d be more worried about all the cars on the forecourt tbh.

They have discussed it.

He thinks it’s fine, she doesn’t.

Why is it that OP gets her way when her DH isn’t even putting their child in danger?