Page 11 | To tell DH not to leave DS in the car while he pays for petrol?

myhouseisafairycastle · 2022-08-07T16:35:34+00:00

DH insists on leaving our 4.5 yo DS in the car when he goes into the petrol station to pay. I have asked him time and again to take DS with him but he still does it. What makes it worse is that the car alarm is sensitive so he leaves the car unlocked otherwise the alarm goes off. DS also knows how to let himself sleep out of his car seat and the car. For context, we live in a remote rural area so pay at pump doesn’t exist here. He did it again yesterday and I’m fuming.

girlmom21 · 09/08/2022 13:05

@LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet why are you making things up?

I literally said it's fine for one parent to challenge another parents behaviour if they feel their child is at risk in response to a poster who said why does OP think she gets to tell the other parent how to behave?

Herejustforthisone · 09/08/2022 13:24

Some people worry and catastrophise to levels I cannot even begin to imagine. To me it was a no brainer; my kid being inside a locked car is vastly favourable to carrying him across a forecourt of moving cars. Plus he’ll be a pain in the shop playing with the rainbow of snacks that flank the queue.

I don’t think it would ever have occurred to me that he might be rear-ended, start the car and go joyriding, get stolen by car thieves, or explode into flames. 🤔

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 09/08/2022 13:36

girlmom21 · 09/08/2022 13:05

@LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet why are you making things up?

I literally said it's fine for one parent to challenge another parents behaviour if they feel their child is at risk in response to a poster who said why does OP think she gets to tell the other parent how to behave?

In what way am I making things up?!

OP has voiced her opinion to her DH and seems to think she has final say on what he should do when she isn’t there, no matter what his opinion is.

He disagrees and does what he thinks is right.

Who wins in this situation?

Or is it better than parents make decisions on their own time?

Id be seriously fucked of if my OH infantilised me and tried to micro manage the decisions I make when he’s not there. Which is what OP is doing with her partner.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 09/08/2022 13:38

YABU. And ridiculous.

Hobbesmanc · 09/08/2022 15:28

I wouldn't leave a bag of Haribo visible in some of the garages in town- notorious for snatched mobiles and laptops. Not that kids are taken- but would be scary!

But OP says this is a rural garage - presumably without many opportunistic bandits lurking and plenty of cameras. I can't find any examples of toddlers trapped in burning forecourts - although there are lots of people hit by other customers- and armed robberies in petrol station shops. Me- I'd be leaving the kids in the car

Vynalbob · 09/08/2022 16:24

I wouldn't but plenty do.... nowadays why not compromise..... only go to pay at pump petrol stations or fill up when he's alone... seems a decent work a round.

JustLyra · 09/08/2022 16:33

I don’t take mine in - way too many people pulling out one handed, whilst putting away their card/receipt or opening the crisps/drink they’ve bought. People just don’t pay good attention when pulling away from pumps - they’re far safer strapped in their seats than on the forecourt imo.

JustLyra · 09/08/2022 16:34

There’s no pay at pump round here either. It’s a pain as it would make it easier.

bloodywhitecat · 09/08/2022 16:48

Likewise, we have no pay at pump within a 50 minute drive and I am a single carer to multiple foster babies, there is no way I am taking them out of the car to pay for fuel.

Blondeshavemorefun · 09/08/2022 17:09

Muststopeating · 07/08/2022 17:44

This. I have 3 under 5.... soooo much more dangerous for me to drag them all out the car. Also, in the exceptionally unlikely event that someone wanted to kidnap one of my kids it is far more difficult and obvious for them to break into a locked car than steal one of them whilst I'm trying to wrangle the others in and out of car seats.

But I do lock it and if the alarm goes off then so be it, I can deactivate it from the window. And 2 of mine know how to get out of their car seats and belts and open the doors (if unlocked) but wouldn't dream of it.

If your DS has/does escape then none of the above applies and he has to stop.

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This

my alarm might go off. I just press button to stop it

never understood locking doors as if child is 3/4 can prob undo seatbelt and open door

but obv they don’t as you say no

sunsetsandsandybeaches · 09/08/2022 17:13

Vynalbob · 09/08/2022 16:24

I wouldn't but plenty do.... nowadays why not compromise..... only go to pay at pump petrol stations or fill up when he's alone... seems a decent work a round.

There's no pay-at-the-pump anywhere near here, and it's not always possible or practical to go alone.

HyacinthsHydrangeas · 09/08/2022 17:45

saffy2 · 08/08/2022 19:50

I’ve lived all over the country and abroad and have been driving for over 20 years and have never, not once, ever seen a parent take a child into a petrol station. I literally never believe any one who says they do, and usually it’s everyone on threads like these. And I’m like, really 🤔 I don’t believe it. It is an utter ballache to even contemplate it, so nobody does it. Which is why in the space of over 20 years all over the world I have never seen a child being taken into a petrol station. Your dh is totally reasonable and normal, and you are the abnormality if you take your child in as far as I have seen! 😂

In fairness, I am a person who lives in the world, and I have never seen a child left unattended in a vehicle while a parent went in to pay for petrol.

I'm not weighing in on whether it's objectively right or wrong, but I wouldn't say that it's correct to assert that it's so unimaginable that it is the standard SOMEWHERE in the world to always take a child in with the parent.

SuperPets · 09/08/2022 18:35

HyacinthsHydrangeas · 09/08/2022 17:45

In fairness, I am a person who lives in the world, and I have never seen a child left unattended in a vehicle while a parent went in to pay for petrol.

I'm not weighing in on whether it's objectively right or wrong, but I wouldn't say that it's correct to assert that it's so unimaginable that it is the standard SOMEWHERE in the world to always take a child in with the parent.

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Then you're blind. In every petrol station, everywhere, people leave the kids in the car and go pay.

00100001 · 09/08/2022 19:06

CelestiaNoctis · 08/08/2022 18:25

I enjoyed the story of a man who followed his wife because she kept doing this. And while she was paying he took their baby out the car and waited across the car park while she panicked. Its a very stupid thing to do and I can't believe so many people agree with it. Especially at nearly 5 years old, they can easily come out the car with you quickly. Some people don't value their children as much as others I guess 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

...and next in Things That Did Not Happen.... A child dies from a car exploding from a random spark in a petrol forecourt

00100001 · 09/08/2022 19:09

HyacinthsHydrangeas · 09/08/2022 17:45

In fairness, I am a person who lives in the world, and I have never seen a child left unattended in a vehicle while a parent went in to pay for petrol.

I'm not weighing in on whether it's objectively right or wrong, but I wouldn't say that it's correct to assert that it's so unimaginable that it is the standard SOMEWHERE in the world to always take a child in with the parent.

Show quote history

Every single visit, you've noticed the occupants of EVERY single car in every single forecourt you've ever visited and made an observation that not a single child was left in there? You've been absolutely certain that every child that was present at the same time as you was taken into pay?

Nonsense I say.

00100001 · 09/08/2022 19:16

sarahd29 · 09/08/2022 09:57

If I left my son (6) in the car by himself he would be out of his car seat like a whippet. He is a well behaved child but the temptation to sit in the drivers seat would be too much. I'd worry that he would hit the handbrake button and roll. Even if he sat still I would worry that the driver behind lost concentration and rear ended our car.

No judgement on you all but for me, he seems safer with me holding his hand... as opposed to sitting in the car bored looking for things to press.

Oh yes, the car would definitely roll.... because forecourts are notorious for being on steep inclines, where a stationary car would definitely start rolling forward and gather huge speeds, and career wildly into a park full of nuns, and it would almost certainly roll over, squashing some endangered animals, and then explode, and start a wildfire over the entire south coast for weeks on end.

00100001 · 09/08/2022 19:17

"Even if he sat still I would worry that the driver behind lost concentration and rear ended our car"

Do you worry about this when your parked? When you stop at traffic lights, or junctions...?

JustLyra · 09/08/2022 19:19

Some people don't value their children as much as others I guess 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

What a shitty and nasty thing to say just because some people do things differently, because they feel it’s safer, to you.

some people really are awful

LadyDanburysHat · 10/08/2022 11:11

HyacinthsHydrangeas · 09/08/2022 17:45

In fairness, I am a person who lives in the world, and I have never seen a child left unattended in a vehicle while a parent went in to pay for petrol.

I'm not weighing in on whether it's objectively right or wrong, but I wouldn't say that it's correct to assert that it's so unimaginable that it is the standard SOMEWHERE in the world to always take a child in with the parent.

Show quote history

I have never seen someone take their child out of the car while they pay for fuel. Not in any of the places I've lived in the 25 years I've been driving.

zingally · 10/08/2022 11:48

My 2 stay in the car in their seats if I have to go in to pay. They are 5.5 and there's never been an issue.

Your DS needs telling to stay in his seat, or there'll be consequences. He's old enough to understand that, and do as he's told.

It's actually more concerning that he's getting out of his seat without permission. What if he did that when you were driving? It was drilled into my two that you DO NOT get out of your seat until an adult gives permission.

SemperIdem · 10/08/2022 17:52

sarahd29 · 09/08/2022 09:57

If I left my son (6) in the car by himself he would be out of his car seat like a whippet. He is a well behaved child but the temptation to sit in the drivers seat would be too much. I'd worry that he would hit the handbrake button and roll. Even if he sat still I would worry that the driver behind lost concentration and rear ended our car.

No judgement on you all but for me, he seems safer with me holding his hand... as opposed to sitting in the car bored looking for things to press.

He’s not particularly well behaved.

Feetache · 11/08/2022 00:36

Can anyone aware of these horror stories about child abduction on forecourt's or exploding cars please share news links in it happening?

Feetache · 11/08/2022 00:39

I've been Googling and can't find any examples I

Musti · 11/08/2022 00:40

I never once took any of my kids out when I paid. Always left them in the car. I thought everyone did as never see a kid in the petrol shop

Georgeandzippyzoo · 11/08/2022 01:24

Most petrol stations now have clear views of the forecourt so you can see you car at all times, even when queueing. Not a major issue but I would insist the car was locked.