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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell DH not to leave DS in the car while he pays for petrol?

306 replies

myhouseisafairycastle · 07/08/2022 17:35

DH insists on leaving our 4.5 yo DS in the car when he goes into the petrol station to pay. I have asked him time and again to take DS with him but he still does it. What makes it worse is that the car alarm is sensitive so he leaves the car unlocked otherwise the alarm goes off. DS also knows how to let himself sleep out of his car seat and the car. For context, we live in a remote rural area so pay at pump doesn’t exist here. He did it again yesterday and I’m fuming.

OP posts:
00100001 · 07/08/2022 20:24

stayathomer · 07/08/2022 19:53

It's far more dangerous to have a 4.5 year old out on a petrol forecourt than safely in their seat.
To walk into a shop holding his daddy’s hand? Really? 😅

Yes. Really.

It's bit like the difference between the boy and father trying to cross a busy crossroads where parked cars block views for pedestrians and drivers. Versus

Them sitting in the parked car at the crossroads.

Which is safer?

kateandme · 07/08/2022 20:25

Is there a thriller novel that this is written as a storyline.I want to see it done.
was there a drama on bbc where this was the storyline.
sorry totally off on my own topic now.
I just finished my book!🙂

PolishingCandles · 07/08/2022 20:26

I always left mine in the car. No kids or petrol stations went boom, they didn't get stolen, nor did the sky fall down.
I assume your car like everyone else's has childproof locks.

00100001 · 07/08/2022 20:26

stayathomer · 07/08/2022 19:52

dh did this once or twice and it pissed me off. For me it was never about someone robbing a car, more about the parent getting stuck inside the shop for longer than they thought and the child getting a fright eg because a stranger decides to look in on them. When my dad was sick he was sitting outside a pharmacy while my mum was getting his medication and the car behind hit into them, when the driver’s foot hit the pedal by mistake. You can always say ‘chances are tiny’ but then you can say that about anything and not parent at all!! It’s so lazy-just walk them in, they’re only young for a few years!!!

It's not lazy to leave them in there.

It safer.

Londoncallingme · 07/08/2022 20:30

He’s 4.5.
why would he get out?
it’s fine. I’ve never taken any of my 4 in with me, at any age, you can usually see the car from the Pay-Station anyway!

MiniCooperLover · 07/08/2022 20:32

6 months yes remove, nearly 5 years the leave without issue. He can see him and he'll be fine

Juanmariaramierz · 07/08/2022 20:32

Mumofsend · 07/08/2022 17:38

It's far more dangerous to have a 4.5 year old out on a petrol forecourt than safely in their seat.

This

ohblowmedown · 07/08/2022 20:37

Our car turns the alarm sensor off if you lock it twice in quick succession, why not just check how your car does that?

Snowpaw · 07/08/2022 20:42

I have always left mine in the car when getting petrol, except on exceptionally hot days.

The only time I felt anxious was when my DD was tiny and asleep in the car seat, and I had to pee really bad as well as get petrol, and it was dark. I went into a garage at a motorway services to use the loo. I wouldn't be able to see her from the toilet, but I was desperate. And the car seat was too heavy for me to lift out with her asleep in it. I asked a lady in the services if she would keep an eye on my car and she was wonderful. She went and stood at the door watching it all the time while I was on the loo. She was very kind.

Agree I think they are safer in car than on a forecourt.

balalake · 07/08/2022 20:45

Whilst the chances of anything happening are far less than during the journey, I am with you OP. So your DS can start to learn about care in certain places when walking, and perhaps be a part such as telling the attendant which pump number daddy's car was at.

Spacemonkey2016 · 07/08/2022 20:51

I'd say as a person, I'm more risk averse than the average person, and I leave my 5 year old in the car while I pay for petrol.

Lovemusic33 · 07/08/2022 20:53

I have never taken a child in with me whilst paying for fuel, always thought they were more likely to get hit by a car whilst walking to pay than they would to be abducted whilst sat in the car?

MumofSpud · 07/08/2022 20:54

I always left mine in the car at the petrol station - would choose ones that I could see the car and were quick rather than a Tesco one where people do their shopping !
At 4.5 wouldn't they know not to 'escape'?

Benjispruce4 · 07/08/2022 20:57

I always left mine in the car, locked.

user1496146479 · 07/08/2022 21:01

Always left my kids in the car when getting fuel, still do.
YABU

user1496146479 · 07/08/2022 21:02

Ontomatopea · 07/08/2022 17:39

So dangerous. What if someone nicks the car or there's a spark and a fire. Or kid gets out and gets hit by a car. Petrol stations aren't a safe place for kids.

Yes because we hear of these things happening so often!!
Oh wait, we don't! Hmm

user1496146479 · 07/08/2022 21:06

thenewduchessoflapland · 07/08/2022 19:51

Can't he use pay at pump?

Read the OP at least

user1496146479 · 07/08/2022 21:06

unicormb · 07/08/2022 20:02

I always always use pay at pump so this doesn't have to happen. It's everywhere so why not just do that?

Maybe try reading the OP!

Blossomtoes · 07/08/2022 21:07

It would never occur to me to take a child out of a car seat when paying for petrol. It’s way safer to leave him in the car.

Hoppinggreen · 07/08/2022 21:10

DD is 17
She only realised recently that it’s not incredibly dangerous to get out of the car at a Petrol Station as I drilled it into her she had to stay in her seat!!

Teach12 · 07/08/2022 21:11

Well mine knows he can get out the front doors and even if he knew to stay, I can imagine if, for example, he decided he needed a wee, there's a chance he'll come to get me.

7/8 year old, fine. But I just wouldn't risk it.

Each to their own.

Lazybedhead · 07/08/2022 21:19

Pay at pump or lock DS in the car whilst he pays.

MumofSpud · 07/08/2022 21:21

balalake · 07/08/2022 20:45

Whilst the chances of anything happening are far less than during the journey, I am with you OP. So your DS can start to learn about care in certain places when walking, and perhaps be a part such as telling the attendant which pump number daddy's car was at.

Please OP do not let the DC give the info to the till person and hold up the entire queue - it is not cute- and is on the same level as getting a toddler to walk down stairs (usually in the middle) holding up people behind!

Minecraftatemychild · 07/08/2022 21:24

Yanbu. It’s lazy. He can easily take the child with him. There are people here saying “I had to leave them in the car, I two babies” but that isn’t the case here, eh.

Most children that age can be trusted not to get out of the car and run around the forecourt, but I can certainly think of a few that would!

So. Lazy.

woodhill · 07/08/2022 21:28

It's not necessary though imo and it never crossed my mind to do so

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