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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To just want service, not unsolicited advice or comments?

450 replies

PalourGamer · 07/08/2022 12:04

This is frustrating me more and more lately when it comes to the service industry. Everyone has to chip in or feels they know better. A few incidences recently:

I returned an item to a shop; a gift from a friend that was the wrong size. The assistant checks the date on the receipt, starts processing the return and then says ‘You know today is the absolute last day you could have brought it back?’ I said yes, that’s why I’d come! He sort of laughed as if this was somehow cheeky, rather than me just returning something within the set period.

In a restaurant I asked for the salt when they brought out the food. Waitress narrows her eyes, pauses and then says ‘Have you tried it?’ I said ‘Not yet - but when I do, I might want salt. Please can you bring the salt?’ I don’t want her opinion, just the bloody salt!

Another restaurant. The waiter brings out the card machine; I move to take it so I can insert my card to pay. He pulls it away from me and says ‘You can use contactless’. I say ‘No, I can’t; I need to use the PIN’ and go to take the machine again. He pulls it back again and says ‘No, you can for that amount’. I say ‘Yes, for that amount - but not with this card’. He then finally lets me have the machine. If he’d just let me pay how I wanted it would have taken seconds.

Local leisure centre - there’s a counter where you get a basket for your things and hand it to the cloakroom attendant. I take my bag over to put in a basket and the attendant tries to grab it before I can. ‘All bagged up?’, she says, then ‘Ooh no, one of your zips is open’. I say ‘I know, it’s broken. But it’ll be in the basket anyway.’ She says ‘Oh, you don’t need a basket; I’ll just put it on the side’. I say no, something might fall out; I’ll take a basket. She says ‘No, it’ll be fine on the side; nothing will fall out’. I say I’d still prefer a basket. She says ‘Can I ask what the issue is with me just putting the bag on the side?’ I say - pretty coldly by this point - ‘Please can you just give me a basket?’ She eventually does, muttering something about ‘It just makes more work for us’. There would have been zero extra work if she’d just let me hand her a basket like everyone else instead of picking an argument!

I went to get my mobile phone screen fixed. When I return later to collect it, he asks ‘How long have you had the device?’ I say ‘Abour four months; why?’ He says, ‘And this is your first repair?’ None of your damn business! I’m not asking you to do it for free - you don’t need to know if I’ve dropped my phone once or do it on a weekly basis!

Is it really too much to ask to just be served without commentary, questions or tips on how to do it better?

OP posts:
Justme1234567 · 08/08/2022 17:52

It sounds there is something about you, like your attitude, facial expressions or body language has effected the way you have been treated in some situations, and the others you’ve already had your back up, and treated as such. You sound awful

wooda180 · 08/08/2022 18:22

Always taste the food before asking for salt. It's actually insulting to the chef as you're insinuating that you know the food will be under seasoned.

CelestiaNoctis · 08/08/2022 18:29

This is why I do self check out and home delivery as much as possible. Hate people.

CarrieKurz · 08/08/2022 18:30

In a very dark period of my life, I found problems in every single thing, whilst ignoring the real ones. It is so easy to get upset at people we consider to be less than us. I despise my old self.

Cinnamonhazelnut · 08/08/2022 18:31

HAHAHA,
I've not read this whole thread, But I 100% agree with you OP. People need to just do their job and not offer the unwanted and unasked for advice.
It irritates me on a daily basis

The supermarkets p*ss me off. When you get that one person on the till that wants to give commentary on everything you're buying or starts reading the back of the packet.
"Ooh, I've not seen that in here yet" "ooh that looks nice, what's in that then" "oooh, baking a cake are we?" "Looks like you're having a BBQ" "ere, Barbara, you seen these, didn't know we sold them, we should get some for the party on Friday"

Just scan it and give me my damn shopping.

But hey, I suppose if we were all the same life would be boring.

PattyMelt · 08/08/2022 18:33

I salt request and the card machine were out of line. I have a card that won't just tap never has, I have to put it in. I'm a bit sick of saying it needs to be put in the machine.

Bangolads · 08/08/2022 18:40

I opened this expecting to agree with you but these are terrible examples. Why on earth do you let pretty minor things wind you up so much? You’re the problem I’m afraid. And yes- obviously you try the food before you decide if you need salt 🤦🏼‍♀️

Zwellers · 08/08/2022 18:44

I really don't get why this bothers you but the fact its happened in multiple places with different people makes you the only common denominator. Do you think shop staff are below you and shouldn't dare speak

GrowlingManchego · 08/08/2022 18:44

CarrieKurz · 08/08/2022 18:30

In a very dark period of my life, I found problems in every single thing, whilst ignoring the real ones. It is so easy to get upset at people we consider to be less than us. I despise my old self.

I can relate to this. Since taking HRT these minor irritations just don’t bother me any more.

PalourGamer · 08/08/2022 18:45

And yes- obviously you try the food before you decide if you need salt 🤦🏼‍♀️

But it’s MY FOOD. What is it some of you aren’t getting about that? I don’t need a waitress’s opinion on the issue.

OP posts:
Namechange1345677 · 08/08/2022 18:47

You sound a delight....

user1497207191 · 08/08/2022 19:04

wooda180 · 08/08/2022 18:22

Always taste the food before asking for salt. It's actually insulting to the chef as you're insinuating that you know the food will be under seasoned.

Different people have different tastes!

MumasaurusRex · 08/08/2022 19:11

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PalourGamer · 08/08/2022 19:16

So… what?

OP posts:
Sometimeswinning · 08/08/2022 19:20

GrowlingManchego · 08/08/2022 18:44

I can relate to this. Since taking HRT these minor irritations just don’t bother me any more.

Yeah but to some of us the minor irritations are our issues. I'm mildly pissed about these little things but when it all happens at once you are allowed to think oh my god fuck off!!! (I'm sure I do have deeper issues but I prefer the little ones!)

OriginalUsername2 · 08/08/2022 19:23

Waitress was rude, leisure centre girl was defiant, receipt guy was mansplaining how a receipt works, phone guy was typical over-friendly cringe phone guy.

I agree with you OP. I just want my stuff without all the “personality” and needless interactions.

The worst people for this are quirky guys that work in HMV.

PalourGamer · 08/08/2022 19:25

Zwellers · 08/08/2022 18:44

I really don't get why this bothers you but the fact its happened in multiple places with different people makes you the only common denominator. Do you think shop staff are below you and shouldn't dare speak

This tired old line comes up on every thread where someone dares to criticise customer service (along with ‘But they only get minimum wage…’)

Why does expecting a cloakroom attendant to give me a basket for my things or a waitress to bring me something when I ask equate to me thinking they’re ‘beneath’ me? If it’s wrong to expect a waitress to, you know, wait on you, the job is going to become obsolete. We’ll all just go the kitchen ourselves and tell the chef what to cook.

OP posts:
Tomitma111 · 08/08/2022 19:28

Jeez hard work comes to mind

Ttcbabybennett · 08/08/2022 19:30

God you sound like you’ve got such a thorn in your side op not particularly based on your original post but more the way you’re responding to comments and the ones you’re choosing to respond to.
for what it’s worth having worked in food industry and retail, staff are often given so many things they have to say or ask that they really don’t want to. There very well could’ve been a pop up on his till or a reminder from management in the staff room that they need to make customers more aware of return dates, the staff will hate saying that but have to do so incase of mystery shoppers, or the waitress could be on shift with a miserable arse of a chef who takes their mood out on wait staff (happens very very often) so she was trying to avoid the chef moaning about the salt.
yes she may have just asked the question for her own weird reasons and yes maybe the retail guy failed epically in making small talk but the way you’re so quick to jump to argue with those that disagree on here or refuse to consider anything other than what you think is right says a lot about your mindset / attitude.
Maybe next time don’t put your post in AIBU if you don’t want people to respond with such opinions?
as for saying you don’t need a “waitress” to tell you anything… careful you don’t fall off that high horse..

MumasaurusRex · 08/08/2022 19:30

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MumasaurusRex · 08/08/2022 19:32

100% this.

JemimaPuddlegoose · 08/08/2022 19:32

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dottymac · 08/08/2022 19:33

Yes! Yes! Yes! This kind of thing really boils my piss! In my area (Derbyshire) every single time I go into a variety of libraries I either get the Spanish inquisition or a pointless volley of information. 'these books are about to become overdue' 'i know, that's why I've brought them back'. 🙄 'you could have renewed these online', 'i can't renew any more times online, that's why I've brought them in'. 🙄' ooh, you have sooooooo many books out!' ' are any overdue?' 'no' 'well isn't that what a library is for then?! 🤷 I get that some of this may just be friendly chatter but most of the time library staff just seem hostile 😡 it's so irritating.

MumasaurusRex · 08/08/2022 19:33

Well you sound as hard work as OP 😂 lol

CarrieKurz · 08/08/2022 19:35

I get you. All people should be allowed to wish others to fuck off. It feels nice..in the moment. And to think about all the things you could have told the waitress, phone guy, the call center operators (my fav) to make them feel misserable. A wonderful thing. No amounts of omeprazol can denny you of that feeling!!!

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