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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wonder why men hate women so much?

782 replies

YouAreNotBatman · 07/08/2022 11:09

Violence againt women, sexual harrasment.

Controlling women bodies.

Women’s sexuality: frigid prude if you don’t want sex, slut if you.

Porn, sex ”work”.

All the MRA’s, mgtow, incels etc.

Even historically speaking they have no reason to be angry at women, women never had any power, mostly tried to accommodate to men’s demand/ wants, I think it still goes on.

Many women still tip toe the line to placate men.

What reason do they have to be so angry at women?

OP posts:
cheekychatta · 07/08/2022 15:57

Topgub · 07/08/2022 11:19

They do have reason to be angry at women if you want to look at it that way

They want sex. They think women hold that power. They think women control them by giving or not giving up sex

They're conditioned to believe that women owe them sex.

I dont believe the majority of men hate women though but most of it comes down to attitudes about sex

There's that famous quote.

Men are scared women will laugh at them(reject them)

Women are scared men will kill them

What's so great about sex anyway ? Why is it such a big deal for men ?

Treacletoots · 07/08/2022 15:58

@SleeplessInEngland I think as long as we do as we are told and they get what they want from women, yes. But deny them those privileges and I think it does quickly turn to hate. How dare that inferior woman deny me what I've been entitled to?

pigalow27 · 07/08/2022 15:58

Germaine Greer said it first in The Female Eunuch - Greer famously drew attention to deeply entrenched cultural constructs that linked sex to shame and disgust, calling out the hypocrisy of a society that blamed women for men’s misogyny. “Women have very little idea of how much men hate them,” she wrote. “The man regards her as a receptacle into which he has emptied his sperm, a kind of human spittoon.”

Suetodo88 · 07/08/2022 15:59

YesJess · 07/08/2022 15:43

I've always thought it was likely two things. Firstly, sort of being 'in competition' with women. Obv they're not as they go for gay men, but many seem to nonetheless display that 'bitchy' streak we mainly see between women.

I also think they see heterosexual men bending over backwards to please women and feel resentment when they see women who use men (see threads like the recent 'I want to marry a rich man' for examples).

Show quote history

@YesJess

I think gay people (also applies to lesbians observing men) can probably see the other gender clearer in some ways, they’re not blinkered by either being one of the group they’re looking at or attracted to that group and influenced by either positive or negative emotion relating to that attraction.

I think gay men and lesbian women are probably less likely to gloss over what they see as the flaws of the other gender with a coat of attraction.

Topgub · 07/08/2022 16:01

@cheekychatta

Sex is great.

But no, I don't really understand some men's attitude to it.

Why they're willing to pay for it with women they must know dont actually want it for example

drawacircleroundit · 07/08/2022 16:03

They are worried we are going to rise up and get some attention. Just read the comments from the Daily Mail whenever the Lionesses have the audacity to be mentioned:
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11088909/Leah-Williamson-Ella-Toone-Ellie-Roebuck-Nikita-Parris-party-Calvin-Harris-gig-Ibiza.html#comments-11088909
Hiding behind their keyboards, punching out vitriol with each tippy-tap, the truth of how women are regarded by these hapless wankers is revealed.

Suetodo88 · 07/08/2022 16:05

Dotjones · 07/08/2022 15:44

I think it's wrong to assume that men (in general) hate women, or fear women, or even dislike women.

We try to rationalise things from within the limits of understanding, assuming that there must be a rational explanation for why there is violence by men against women.

From the female point of view, we think we'd only commit violence against someone we hated, therefore men must hate women to commit violence against them. That's bullshit. A woman thinks someone has to have a reason to be violent but a man sees violence as a just being a part of what makes people human.

Violence has been ever present throughout the history of humanity. There is shocking violence in the animal world on a daily basis. To a man, violence is normal. Not to say that all men are violent on a regular basis, but just that it's possible to be violent towards someone without having a reason to do so.

We don't "hate" wild animals that kill. We don't "hate" dogs because they occasionally kill people. We might put a dog to sleep if it kills a child, but the people killing it are not doing it out of hatred and try to minimise its suffering.

Remember that most victims of assaults by men are also male themselves. By the logic that men assault women because they "hate" them, you must surely believe men "hate" other men too. Therefore it's a hatred of everyone that drives them to violence and gender is irrelevant.

Personally I believe the main reason for assaults by men on women are nothing to do with "hatred" - since most assaults against women are committed by their partner/parent, I think the prime cause is frustration that the particular woman (not women generally) is not doing what the man thinks they should be.

That's all it is: frustration and a misplaced belief that the only way to get the woman to behave as they wish them to is through violence.

@Dotjones

Good post. I agree that men are more comfortable with the idea of violence as a possibility than women. Look at all the men who hang out in crappy areas drinking and doing stupid things. Look at the way young men are drawn to that kind of thing. Are they on their guard because they’re in a more violent or dangerous place? Not really.

Violence isn’t the worry to men that it is for women and it’s not because they couldn’t be victims of it. I think looking for philosophical reasons why is like trying to put the Big Bang down to creationism - there is no reason, it’s just how they are.

Mooshamoo · 07/08/2022 16:05

Sex is the highest physical intimacy that you can have.

Sex is also better for men in a lot of ways, as they don't have any worries from sex.

They don't have any risk of falling pregnant.
They are physically stronger so they don't have any risk of being forced to do anything they want to do in q sexual encounter. Sex is great for men.

Sex carries a lot more risks for women. Violence, pregnancy etc

Mooshamoo · 07/08/2022 16:08

@Topgub but why would a man care about a prostitutes feelings ? He is getting what he wants. Physical satisfaction. What is there In the world to make him stop and think of the prostitutes feelings.

I'm being realistic here

brookstar · 07/08/2022 16:11

I think it’s important women are protected and given chances to work and chances to escape abuse but to be honest I don’t care at all about a gender pay gap or a lot of those things because I think fixing things like that usually just takes the form of taking from men to give to women, which only lasts as long as men like it and just pisses them off making it likely it won’t last forever. It’s not natural to expect us to be 50 percent split in all parts of society, it’s moronic as an aim imo.

Wow.
Unbelievable

Treacletoots · 07/08/2022 16:12

@Mooshamoo perhaps England may be better than most but I'm afraid we are definitely not equals. We dance around a pretence of it but the same basic issues rear their heads on a regular basis.

Women may have a responsible job, but she will be ignored in meetings or put down only for a male colleague to say the same thing and be revered. The male colleague also gets paid 25% more for the same role.

They may have had careers, but now they have kids, 90% of the time it's the mums picking up the kids from school and her career going down the pan because his job is far too important.

I could honestly go on and on but to hear that you consider the UK to be a good example is making me weep for the rest of the world.

Topgub · 07/08/2022 16:12

@Mooshamoo

Well not all men use prostitutes for a start

But yes. I suppose of you're willing to you probably wouldn't care

Clarabe1 · 07/08/2022 16:13

motheroftheyear95 · 07/08/2022 11:52

I’m either very lucky or completely obvious to these type of “men”.

Many women allow themselves to get treated poorly by not speaking up or walking away from a bad relationship.

The amount of women I have met who have had kids with men knowing they are rotters who already have children they don’t bother with is unbelievable. Then they go on Facebook posting my ‘baby daddy’ is this or that. What do they expect? Until women realise their self worth and don’t settle for any old toe rag then men will have to step up. Ultimately respect yourself first and don’t allow yourself to be treated badly by anyone.

Mooshamoo · 07/08/2022 16:13

It's just so simple.

Men enjoy power over women. Anyone who has power over another person, will not give it up.

Can I ask a hypothetical question to people on here.

Imagine that we lived in a country where women had all the power. The government is made up of women. Women are better paid. Women have better jobs. Men have to do physical labour for less money. Women are respected everywhere they go, and men get less reapect. Would you give up that power?
I think that I might see there could be a change but I definitely wouldn't be motivated to start any change. Because things are easy for me now🙄

ILoveToads · 07/08/2022 16:14

@Mooshamoo

No, I don't feel or have to feel grateful. And to whom am I supposed to appreciate it to?

I feel very angry when any woman on any level is mistreated; be it forced marriage, rape, wolf whistling, genital mutilation, sexism at work, the list goes on.

I know there are other countries which restrict womens freedom more through cultural traditions or law, but I'm angry about any injustice. It's not a competition.

Original poster
YouAreNotBatman · 07/08/2022 16:28

cheekychatta · 07/08/2022 15:57

What's so great about sex anyway ? Why is it such a big deal for men ?

Show quote history

I think it’s more about prowess and dominance than sex itself.
Have you heard or read the way men talk about sex?
It’s disturbing.

OP posts:
cheekychatta · 07/08/2022 16:28

Topgub · 07/08/2022 16:01

@cheekychatta

Sex is great.

But no, I don't really understand some men's attitude to it.

Why they're willing to pay for it with women they must know dont actually want it for example

Yep . They are very touchy at the suggestion of paying for sex . Some say they pay for it anyway via wages they bring home ( yes really !) They hate being rejected esp for sex . They will take a woman down because of it . They like to be seen by other men as being a cocksman.

Suetodo88 · 07/08/2022 16:29

@Clarabe1

Agree. When you see a man not caring for his own kids or fighting to see them more if he doesn’t feel he has the chance - why would you have kids with him? He’s already shown he’s crappy father material.

It’s like it adds some sob story appeal for some women with these guys and some women are more drawn to them. Makes no sense to me but it happens all the time.

Suetodo88 · 07/08/2022 16:32

What I would like to see is more recognition that SAHM or Mums that work less are an important part of society. I’m not wanting any prizes but I think it should be more recognised again. In the push to modernise the workplace there’s been a knock on effect of devaluing the SAHM which imo is wrong.

I think equality can be defined different ways. It need not be 50 50 percent of wages across society - it can be an equal appreciation for all even if they’re in traditional roles.

Magicpaintbrush · 07/08/2022 16:33

I was on the train yesterday and some tedious bore of a man (about 60 yrs) was talking at the man in the seat next to him about football and I heard him say in a really derisory tone "Don't tell me you watched 'those women'" with a scoff. Obviously meaning the England women's football team - the way he said it was like they were very much beneath him. I would love to see him attempt to play football against even one of them, they would wipe the floor with him. It was just such old school type know-it-all misogyny. Do men like him needlessly talk down about women because they feel threatened or something? Nobody is trying to take football away from the poor little men ffs.

cheekychatta · 07/08/2022 16:34

Youarenotbatman

Yes it's awful . I believe a lot of men (not all) put women into two groups whores and angels . I think they justify their behaviour towards some women because of it .

ldontWanna · 07/08/2022 16:35

Suetodo88 · 07/08/2022 15:55

@Sheepreallylikerichteabiscuits

I don’t want men and women to be pitied against each other. I don’t want my sons to grow up resenting women or being held back.
I don’t think I’m doing anything wrong by not doing my part for the “gender pay gap” and if I’m not the only one then why would I have such a problem with it?

I do want to live in a society where people who don’t conform to rigid gender roles aren’t looked down on. Whether that’s equality or not is up for debate but I don’t really think we can measure if “equality” is achieved anyway so it’s a somewhat meaningless thing to talk about. I just want people to all have a chance but to do that we have to work with human nature, not against it.

Why is the alternative being "held back"?

Why does women having equality mean taking away from men or men being held back?

Not just that, but some of your reticence seem to be due to fear of repercussions if men get fed up. Which kind of proves every one else's point.

cheekychatta · 07/08/2022 16:35

Magicpaintbrush · 07/08/2022 16:33

I was on the train yesterday and some tedious bore of a man (about 60 yrs) was talking at the man in the seat next to him about football and I heard him say in a really derisory tone "Don't tell me you watched 'those women'" with a scoff. Obviously meaning the England women's football team - the way he said it was like they were very much beneath him. I would love to see him attempt to play football against even one of them, they would wipe the floor with him. It was just such old school type know-it-all misogyny. Do men like him needlessly talk down about women because they feel threatened or something? Nobody is trying to take football away from the poor little men ffs.

Yep and a man on a plane in front of me seriously concerned vocally because a woman was landing the plane

Topgub · 07/08/2022 16:37

@Suetodo88

Why should society value being a sahm?

jammiewhammie65 · 07/08/2022 16:37

Banning porn would be a good start