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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Random men carrying tampons is weird

315 replies

Ikeasucks · 06/08/2022 19:15

Just seen a conversation on twitter with men talking about carrying tampons and pads to be helpful if they come across some woman who might need one. I thought it was weird - or am i the weird one?

Random men carrying tampons is weird
Random men carrying tampons is weird
OP posts:
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5
Johnnysgirl · 06/08/2022 21:34

scrumpledtitskin · 06/08/2022 21:31

@Johnnysgirl

So do I normally, but in this case I hadn't. Accidents happen.

Well, of course. I was just saying it's unusual to ask a room full of men if they have a spare tampon.

MingeofDeath · 06/08/2022 21:35

@Deepclean

Of course they do.

Hoppinggreen · 06/08/2022 21:35

sst1234 · 06/08/2022 20:30

Huh? Boys not carrying tampons is toxic masculinity? OTT, much?

Someone asked if Teenage boys had changed a lot since the 80s
It was not a reference to the lack of tampon carrying

HellonHeels · 06/08/2022 21:36

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

"Person who menstruates" offends me and is a massive red flag. So no, it's not inclusive.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 06/08/2022 21:36

Hoppinggreen · 06/08/2022 21:33

I actually pity you

Awww thanks.

Dreamwhisper · 06/08/2022 21:39

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SarahSissions · 06/08/2022 21:39

If I got caught out it wouldn’t even cross my mind that some random bloke would have a tampon??? Weird.

sst1234 · 06/08/2022 21:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

What are doing here, then? Other than being generally abusive and immature.

Its a debate forum. If you can’t take the heat, get out of kitchen. Oh wait, is that reference too sexist for you?

Boopeedoop · 06/08/2022 21:42

BigMamaFratelli · 06/08/2022 19:20

Yeah that's weird.

My mate used to carry tampons, but he was a bouncer and they were in case he or anyone else got stabbed😱

Quite common for first aiders and ambulance workers to carry them for this reason!

They are brilliant for plugging wounds.

Emotionalsupportviper · 06/08/2022 21:45

ancientgran · 06/08/2022 20:36

Not all women menstruate.

No.
But only women menstruate.

Dreamwhisper · 06/08/2022 21:46

SarahSissions · 06/08/2022 21:39

If I got caught out it wouldn’t even cross my mind that some random bloke would have a tampon??? Weird.

I actually think that tiktok might be to blame for this.

I watch a female Youtuber called Chad Chad who watches cringe tiktoks, and the is a whole genre of "POV" videos where young men film themselves acting out what they would do if you, the viewer, got your period. And how "helpful" they would be.

It's super weird and cringe and uncomfortable but the videos seemed pretty popular. Along with many other highly concerning videos about weird pretend toxic relationship dynamics!

Johnnysgirl · 06/08/2022 21:47

videos where young men film themselves acting out what they would do if you, the viewer, got your period. And how "helpful" they would be.
Fucking hell.

JennyForeigner · 06/08/2022 21:48

Something so weird about how carrying tampax is parsed as caring about women's health.

Like, it's not a defibrillator.

Dreamwhisper · 06/08/2022 21:48

To be clear there are a ton of types of POV videos (I don't use tiktok so I didn't know this) but yeah the "oh you got your period?" ones are some of the worst and creepiest. They probably aren't intended that way - I reckon there's a split between well meaning but clueless young men who haven't had long term relationships yet who think it's positive, and some weirder types who just love thinking about womens' periods.

CorvusPurpureus · 06/08/2022 21:49

Oh & I do keep a basket of various san pro in the family bathroom, for visitors &/or sleepovers.

It's a couple of half empty packets of unremarkable brands in a big basket with a sign saying 'help yourself'. The basket is also full of hotel disposables - shampoo, conditioner, toothbrushes - all for people - adults or teens - who crash here unexpectedly, or have mislaid their luggage or yadda yadda. No toothbrush? We have a supply. No shampoo...no nail file...no tampons...all sorted.

I can still say that my ds never packed his satchel with a helpful stock of sanpro for his female friends. Apart from anything, he knew perfectly well that there was a stock in the office. Because we'd have covered that in week one of y7 PSHCE...'here's where you go & here is how we can help if you need something you should've packed'

Big Yaniv energy.

nomarmaladeplease · 06/08/2022 21:49

Yeah, that's weird, unless he also carries around pain killers, plasters, tissues, and anything else someone might need in an "emergency". Somehow I doubt he does.

Motorina · 06/08/2022 21:49

Luredbyapomegranate · 06/08/2022 19:51

@Deepclean

Give over.

That would be like carrying around spot cover up when you don’t have spots. No one does this. The people that need tampons/cover up carry it, and if they forget they ask other people who have periods/spots.

I asked my teen niece and nephew if this was plausible. My niece went into an absolute flap of embarrassed panic because I'd mentioned "Them" in front of her brother.

I think that's a no.

Johnnysgirl · 06/08/2022 21:52

Dreamwhisper · 06/08/2022 21:48

To be clear there are a ton of types of POV videos (I don't use tiktok so I didn't know this) but yeah the "oh you got your period?" ones are some of the worst and creepiest. They probably aren't intended that way - I reckon there's a split between well meaning but clueless young men who haven't had long term relationships yet who think it's positive, and some weirder types who just love thinking about womens' periods.

of the worst and creepiest. They probably aren't intended that way
Oh, I imagine it is absolutely intended that way. Clueless young men usually curtail themselves to making sure they're stocked up with condoms, not tampons.

PetraBP · 06/08/2022 21:52

Sounds like someone with a period fetish hoping to get lucky. How on earth would he end up being “helpful”?

Is he hoping that a woman on her period is going to approach him saying “excuse me, kind Sir, but my pad is about to leak. Do you have a spare?”

Lunar270 · 06/08/2022 21:53

Well I guess it makes a change from men carrying a handkerchief in case a woman is found crying (or wanting to blow her nose).

I have a bunch of tampons in all of our cars but has been a sensible decision with a wife and two daughters.

Although I can't ever imagine a random woman stopping me to ask if I have one for an emergency! Of all the things I could possibly be asked, a tampon would be last on the list.

rarelyontime · 06/08/2022 21:54

As @RenegadeMatron says, when you're caught out, improvising with toilet roll is how most women cope! It's not great, but it's one of those inherently female experiences most of us can relate to vividly.

I've been asked for painkillers before by female friends/coworkers who have had a sudden attack of period cramps, but never sanpro.

Baskets of sanpro in customer toilets/public bathrooms are a really nice idea, and I like that. Have you ever used a cheap pad before? I tried them once as a student - they were dirt cheap, but they didn't stick very well and were so bulky they chafed. The sanpro that people tend to leave out is branded, and therefore so much gentler. Digressing slightly, period poverty is a thing, and it's ridiculous that any woman has to walk around with terrible sanpro or toilet roll on a regular basis. For some women, the toilet roll isn't just when they've been caught out, it's throughout the period.

Realising you've been caught out can be fairly humiliating depending on at what point you've realised - I think in a nightmare situation, a woman (more likely to be a young girl, TBH) would seek help from other women in the ladies. I can't see any woman asking a man for help in that situation, unless they were exceptionally close, like a partner or a brother. I certainly can't see any woman asking a random man for a tampon. You'd feel vulnerable enough to start with.

Digressing again, what so many men don't seem to get is that the ladies toilets are a place of safety where even the meanest of women will be nice to each other. If you found yourself unexpectedly bleeding, you'd run there, you wouldn't look for a man and ask him for help. You'd run to the toilets and if you couldn't help yourself, you'd ask another woman.

ChagSameachDoreen · 06/08/2022 21:54

"A person who menstruates"? What sort of person would that be, pray tell?

PetraBP · 06/08/2022 21:55

PS if you go into a Morrisons supermarket and ask for “a package for Sandy” at the customer service desk, they will give you an unmarked package full of free sanitary products without comment.

Just thought I’d put that out there in case anyone was caught short or struggling to afford them.

Better than asking Mr Creepy-Tampon-Fetish anyway!

spongedog · 06/08/2022 22:01

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/08/2022 19:20

He put it on the internet so he's the one making it other people's business.

OMFG we need a like button. If this was ever the post. @mumsnet you can do it!

spongedog · 06/08/2022 22:11

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/08/2022 19:47

Are women not people now?

Think about these statements:

There was a lot of stigma against people during the AIDS crisis in the 80s.

Black Lives Matters was designed to help some people in the US.

The suffragettes worked to get the vote for people.

Erasing class analysis for groups of people only seems cool and inclusive when it's women being erased. Words have meaning.

Words do have meaning. I'll replace the word people with:

  1. gay men - I was a young adult at this time in the UK and women were not a priority for this issue in the UK. Remember tombstone?
  2. black men - again lived in the US for years. Generally US police tend to only kill black men. Genuinely not heard of a black women being shot by police. Apologies if I have misremembered.
  3. women. As not all but many men had the vote at this time (c. 1905 - in the UK).