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Husband rage
143

Tessabelle74 · 06/08/2022 18:10

Just lost my sh#t at my husband and kids because I'm sick of doing everything around the house. My husband told me not to talk to him for the rest of the day because of my silly little attitude. AIBU to ask where I can dispose of a rolled up rug I no longer need?

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

Mally100 · 06/08/2022 19:10

How old are your kids and why have they not been helping clean up? Given your dh attitude, that's one reason why the kids are following in bad ways.b

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ulteriorbread · 06/08/2022 19:12

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

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WinnysPinny · 06/08/2022 19:24

It’s just a row why he can’t say ok let’s talk and do something about the situation beggars belief

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Blue4YOU · 06/08/2022 19:26

I can understand losing your temper but have you actually discussed any of this with them previously?

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EmergencyHepNeeded · 06/08/2022 19:30

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

That's called victim blaming.

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Trying20 · 06/08/2022 19:31

Whenever I’m cleaning I suddenly hate DP. It’s his fault there’s dust everywhere, his fault everywhere is messy because there’s a mug on his desk, his fault there’s a pile of laundry because I can see his hoody in the middle of it 🤬🤬🤬.

He’s actually pretty good though - we’re probably quite even in the taking care of the house front.

If it’s an issue, raise it calmly and explain the impact it’s having on you.

I’m not surprised your husband told you not to talk to him for a while if you “lost your sh#t” at him.

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Sheepreallylikerichteabiscuits · 06/08/2022 19:33

I would suggest you take him seriously, if you have a silly little attitude then lean into it. Silly women don't do the washing up, or the ironing, or the cooking or the cleaning etc etc

I think silly little women sit out in the sunshine with a glass of wine and a takeaway for one, and only wash their clothes and generally ignore the chaotic household going on around them.

I mean you need a sensible wife to get anything done, you know one you listen to and pull your weight around and support. So if he's not got one of those then why bother?

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ulteriorbread · 06/08/2022 19:34

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

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MadMadMadamMim · 06/08/2022 19:36

Sheepreallylikerichteabiscuits · 06/08/2022 19:33

I would suggest you take him seriously, if you have a silly little attitude then lean into it. Silly women don't do the washing up, or the ironing, or the cooking or the cleaning etc etc

I think silly little women sit out in the sunshine with a glass of wine and a takeaway for one, and only wash their clothes and generally ignore the chaotic household going on around them.

I mean you need a sensible wife to get anything done, you know one you listen to and pull your weight around and support. So if he's not got one of those then why bother?

This.

This is what I wanted to say. Patronising fuckwit.

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Trying20 · 06/08/2022 19:36

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

This. OP literally opened with “just lost my shit”

She isn’t the victim…

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NobblyKnees · 06/08/2022 19:43

Sheepreallylikerichteabiscuits · 06/08/2022 19:33

I would suggest you take him seriously, if you have a silly little attitude then lean into it. Silly women don't do the washing up, or the ironing, or the cooking or the cleaning etc etc

I think silly little women sit out in the sunshine with a glass of wine and a takeaway for one, and only wash their clothes and generally ignore the chaotic household going on around them.

I mean you need a sensible wife to get anything done, you know one you listen to and pull your weight around and support. So if he's not got one of those then why bother?

This ^^ in bucket loads
Stop doing everything

Today I stripped, washed, hung and folded all the bedding as well as towels and clothes etc, other household chores, gardening. DH sat around watching me. Then piped up once he thought it was all done, like he usually does, and asked what he could do to help. I told him he could put the bedding back on the beds. Suddenly he had to take DS to the barbers so I said it was fine to do it when he got back as I had to crack on with a mountain of ironing.

He hasnt put the bedding back on. That's fine, we'll all go to bed tonight with bare beds...which he hates. I'm sick to the back fucking teeth of doing it all, and arguing about it.

So I'm not doing it all any more.

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peridito · 06/08/2022 19:45

Why do they and your DH not contribute around the house? Why do you let them get away with it?

why is it the OP's job to hold her H to account ?Is he only capable of contributing if pushed /led by the nose ?

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SpeckofDustUponMySoul · 06/08/2022 19:47

Losing your shit at your children and husband is not okay.
Neither is the children and the husband not helping around the house.
You need to outsource some of the work to said husband and children.

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ulteriorbread · 06/08/2022 19:47

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

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peridito · 06/08/2022 19:48

and arguing about it.- precisely.Have women got some magical power that allows them to see what needs doing ? One which men lack ?

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Motnight · 06/08/2022 19:50

If a woman had posted that their husband had "just lost their shit" she would have a dozen LTB within 10 minutes

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Wynnifer · 06/08/2022 19:52

Sheepreallylikerichteabiscuits · 06/08/2022 19:33

I would suggest you take him seriously, if you have a silly little attitude then lean into it. Silly women don't do the washing up, or the ironing, or the cooking or the cleaning etc etc

I think silly little women sit out in the sunshine with a glass of wine and a takeaway for one, and only wash their clothes and generally ignore the chaotic household going on around them.

I mean you need a sensible wife to get anything done, you know one you listen to and pull your weight around and support. So if he's not got one of those then why bother?

Excellent idea.


OP: Assign tasks to kids & adults. Insist they do a fair share, as they all live there. Tell hubbydearest you're not a bangmaidcook.

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Wynnifer · 06/08/2022 19:53

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Bet she has asked.

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LizzieSiddal · 06/08/2022 19:53

When I was at the end of my tether with them all. I wrote out a list of all the jobs which needed doing each day/week and who was to do them. I then called a meeting, told everyone that it was NOT my job to do everything on that list. Attach the list to the fridge (so no one can say they can’t find it) Then go and have some wine.

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ulteriorbread · 06/08/2022 19:54

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

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peridito · 06/08/2022 19:54

I take your point ulterior ,I guess I feel household chores are obvious and not something where one should have to put in a request.
And of course we don't know whether help has already been requested .

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peridito · 06/08/2022 19:55

How did that work out Lizzie ?

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anotherbrewplease · 06/08/2022 19:58

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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ulteriorbread · 06/08/2022 19:59

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

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Wynnifer · 06/08/2022 19:59

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Verbally abusive? No.

Expressing anger is fine. Unfortunately men express only anger, way too often. Too often women are conditioned to think of standing up for herself as "rage."

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