To be offended by a comment my friend made?

[creamysauce]

Hello :)

So I am getting a gorgeous French Bulldog puppy in a couple of weeks. I was discussing this with a very good friend of mine, about how I'm excited.. yadayada. So I then asked her "Would you ever get a dog or want to own a pet?". She immediately began to burst out laughing and said "No! I want to enjoy my life". A bit I asked "What do you mean by that?"- she then said "As I said it... I want to enjoy my life, owning a pet- particularly a dog, I wouldn't get the spontaneity back, I would be worried about leaving it in the house for too long, paying for this and that, having to take it for walks when I don't feel like it. Sometimes- out of the whim, I just want to book a holiday but with a pet, I will have to think about who is going to take care of it, dog sitters...I may get a cat as they are a bit more independent but still, a pet comes with a lot of responsibility".

I think subconsciously she is trying to sway my decision from getting a pet or do you think she's a tad jealous. I was a bit offended by her comment but she can be very out there/too honest for my liking. What do you all think?

Yes I agree with this.

I really think you should listen to your friend.

Your friend sounds very sensible, and not in the least bit jealous.

@MustBeThin I'm so sorry for your loss, I'm 12 months on the 12th since I had to let one of my girls go - I'd give a kidney to have her back 😢

You have a 'partner' who doesn't pay bills and no doubt doesn't help you, are buying a dog you are going to end up spending a fortune trying to fix with a vet before eventually giving up and putting it to sleep, and are going to end up with all of the work and bills of the dog on you and you alone... And you think she is jealous?! 😂

You sound like one of those nightmare friends that asks for opinions and advice and then never listens. I hope she finds a better friend soon, you're not a good friend.

Just go ahead and keep making daft decisions. Buy a house and pay all the bills then have him take half the profit if you ever split. Great idea! Oh and keep buying expensive pointless dogs that aren't cute by the way and also can barely breathe, for thousands of pounds. Great idea too! You seem to like being scammed out of money, keep doing it. It's your life after all. But don't ask for opinions or anything, don't tell people when you don't want to be told your ideas are dumb.

Yabu - Everything she said was true.
In addition the fact she advised you not to purchase a house with someone who may not pay their way sounds like good advice to me.

Thank you, I'm sorry to hear about your loss too. Losing a pet is devastating, I honestly don't know what to do with myself, it feels like the pain will never get better.

missing the point of the thread my friend has a Frenchie and it sounds like it's trying to die. The noises and the stench are awful. Poor thing just seems so miserable and in pain. He's only 6.

What exactly do you believe that your friend is jealous of? Your brachycephalic dog? Or your debt-riddled partner who doesn't pay any bills? I have to be honest, there's absolutely nothing in your posts that would stoke up envy in me. Pity, if anything.

There are 3 types of friends: (1) Friends who will be supportive and agree with everything you do even if it's going to get you into a spectacularly bad situation. And the next week when you want to do the exact opposite they will agree with you again.

(2) Friends who even when asked for their opinion will not say anything except 'Well as long as you are happy' and you will never know what they really think unless you hear it third hand.

(3) Friends who will be honest about what they think when asked, and venture an opinion even if not asked if it is something that could really be a mistake for your life. Even though they know it might piss you off or ruin the friendship.

Hang onto (3), they can be trusted and they have your back. You may not always agree and they may not always be right, but they are honest and have your back.

This woman sounds like a 3)

She’s absolutely right on all counts. I think you’re upset because you know she’s right.

So you're the car crash friend?

YABU and ridiculous about it all. Everything. Not a single thing are you right about.

Including buying the dog.

There is no such thing a reputable of good bulldog breeder so don't talk such BS. You want what you want over another creatures comfort and life and that's fine we live in a capitalist society.

But don't try and make yourself feel better.

She's spot on. I own various dogs and pets. I love them but it's a pain in the ass doing anything. Lost a lot of friends because I don't leave them for any length of time and look after them when ill or elderly.

A French Bulldog will be a challenge and may require a lot of healthcare. Get good insurance.

She's also right about buying if you have a flaky partner as you don't get any help with mortgage and repairs if you can't pay all your costs yourself.

Good friend. Clear thinking and honest.

YABU she's right. No jealously - dog's are hard work and commitment.

I own cats and dogs and she's 100% correct!

Huge commitment and often harder to get looked after than your DC and so many places you can't take a dog with you.

She's just being honest that a dog doesn't fit into her plans and hopes for her future.

I am the same. I don't ant a pet as they are too toying in my opinion. We want to be going away at weekends, having 3+ holidays a year, visiting family, etc and not all planned much in advance if at all. I couldn't do that with a pet, especially a dog.

It's simply the truth - not a judgement on other people's choices. You asked her if she'd ever want a dog - she said no and why.

She didn’t agree with you. End of. I think you’re being very sensitive.

Maybe she's not couching things in the most 'diplomatic' terms, but sounds to me as if she's bringing up very reasonable points.

FWIW, I appreciate when my friends are a bit 'blunt' with me (and vice versa). We know we have each other's best interests at heart and anything we say is said out of love and concern.

And you know, I'd say that most of the time we are right in our concerns!

I think she’s spot on and that’s from someone who has lots of pets!

I really hope you had thought all that before you got a dog. They really do change your life and you need to be sure you are ready for it.

I think you are maybe on the wind up here because your friend sounds entirely sensible with her head screwed on and like she is giving you sound advice about situations you are potentially making decisions on without thinking them through she doesn't sound one bit jealous and the situations you describe really don't have anything to be envious about.

I couldnt agree more with this, I couldnt be friends with someone who wasn't honest with me and just said what I wanted to hear, to me that is not friendship that is a relationship I would maybe have with the woman in the local shop or my hairdresser.

She was just being honest

We have a dog - she’s a mid size mixed breed rescue - and truth be told when she eventually goes I wouldn’t get another dog until I retire. I love her dearly, she’s great with our kids - but it’s like having a toddler with benefits and the longest we can leave her is 6 hours - after much training!! So my job has actually had to be tailored around care for the dog (hybrid worker)

TBF though I would never buy a frenchie after seeing friends frenchies die very young (2-3 years old). Our mixed breed is almost 7 and has NEVER been to the vets other than for her booster shots

She sounds like a bloody good friend!