To be offended by a comment my friend made?

[creamysauce]

Hello :)

So I am getting a gorgeous French Bulldog puppy in a couple of weeks. I was discussing this with a very good friend of mine, about how I'm excited.. yadayada. So I then asked her "Would you ever get a dog or want to own a pet?". She immediately began to burst out laughing and said "No! I want to enjoy my life". A bit I asked "What do you mean by that?"- she then said "As I said it... I want to enjoy my life, owning a pet- particularly a dog, I wouldn't get the spontaneity back, I would be worried about leaving it in the house for too long, paying for this and that, having to take it for walks when I don't feel like it. Sometimes- out of the whim, I just want to book a holiday but with a pet, I will have to think about who is going to take care of it, dog sitters...I may get a cat as they are a bit more independent but still, a pet comes with a lot of responsibility".

I think subconsciously she is trying to sway my decision from getting a pet or do you think she's a tad jealous. I was a bit offended by her comment but she can be very out there/too honest for my liking. What do you all think?

You did ask.

Her answer is a sensible one covering many points to consider before getting a pet. Also, some people genuinely don't get the same enjoyment of having a pet as we do and can't understand the amount of sacrifices we choose to make for them. That's their right to feel that way and they shouldn't have to hide it, especially when asked questions on the subject.

YABVU Your friend is just giving sensible advice.

It's not offensive and it's what I think.

However, i have many friends who have dogs and I wouldn't be so blunt, I'd just say a dog wouldn't suit my lifestyle.

She seems to have her head screwed on.

And seems to care enough to offer an opinion when she sees you making a decision she doesn't think is right for you.
But you don't seem to have a very high opinion of her for whatever reason, so why don't you cool the friendship?

It sounds like you have your head in the clouds and she is speaking the truth trying to bring you back down to Earth. I understand it’s not always nice to have your illusion shattered, but better she highlights the reality of a situation now so that you can consider her points than realise after you’ve committed to something that the reality of it wasn’t like you’d imagined it. I would say you are lucky to have a friend who is able to be honest with you.

She's right based on what I'm seeing from my friends with dogs. It's a huge commitment. Why on earth would she be jealous? You asked a question, she answered honestly.

None of this sounds like jealousy. I wouldn’t want a dog for exactly the reasons she gave. And re. The house and your partner,
no way would I buy with someone who you described like that. She sounds like a good friend, trying to avert oncoming bad decisions.

Shes not jealous she's right. You're offended because you dont like being given some home truths. She probably finds you just as draining.

It’s not about affording it’s care it’s about getting a dog that will have a pain filled unhealthy existence until it finally does and can rest.

getting these dogs is incredibly cruel and most dog owners will judge you.

What checks did you do to ensure it was a reputable breeder?

Genuine question.

She didn't say anything offensive. Nothing at all.

You describe her as ‘draining’ and ‘jealous’ but OP she sounds like exactly the friend you need.

Stop imagining she is a bad person and listen to the content of what she is saying. You might come to a different conclusion - but it sounds as though she has valuable things to say.

Think very long and hard about getting a French bulldog.
Ours is 8 now and has cost us a fortune on vets bills,wouldn't be without him but wouldn't buy another one.
We got him before they were that popular, did our research but still ended up with one with health problems.
We are lucky as in-laws have him if we want to go out or on holiday.

Sounds like she makes some good points

Your issue is - you ask her opinion!

And

Your issue is - you have an honest friend

It would be the same if you asked her if she wanted a child.

Just to pre warn you too if you are basing affordability on insurance as many providers are becoming wary of genetic conditions associated with these breeds. You may find breathing issues etc are excluded very early on in the policy or the premiums/conditions are higher than usual.

Also people who love dogs can go on them a bit too much and seem to assume anyone who doesn’t has one, wants one!

For goodness sake. You're easily offended!

Hope you have sorted excellent insurance for your puppy and made sure they don't exclude Frenchies.

From the examples you've given, she sounds like a voice of reason in your life. Certainly not jealous.

SHE'S NOT JEALOUS!

I love difficult independent backpacking travel to distant off the beaten track countries. My best friends think I'm mad, and love Center Parks and Disney. I don't think they're jealous when they come out with all the reasons they'd not want my kind of holiday! They're not me and they like different things.

They're off to Disney soon and I hope they have a great time. I can see why they love it And when I set off they're happy for me, too.
We're all different. You want a dog, your friend doesn't.

How can you be offended by that!??

Shes literally just giving you her opinion. I feel exactly the same as her.

Why would she be jealous of you getting a dog, is she wanted a dog surely she would get a dog?

It says she’s thought about the commitment of a pet and decided it’s not for her. Good for her.

Your friend sounds very sensible especially with the advice about your partner!