To be offended by a comment my friend made?

[creamysauce]

Hello :)

So I am getting a gorgeous French Bulldog puppy in a couple of weeks. I was discussing this with a very good friend of mine, about how I'm excited.. yadayada. So I then asked her "Would you ever get a dog or want to own a pet?". She immediately began to burst out laughing and said "No! I want to enjoy my life". A bit I asked "What do you mean by that?"- she then said "As I said it... I want to enjoy my life, owning a pet- particularly a dog, I wouldn't get the spontaneity back, I would be worried about leaving it in the house for too long, paying for this and that, having to take it for walks when I don't feel like it. Sometimes- out of the whim, I just want to book a holiday but with a pet, I will have to think about who is going to take care of it, dog sitters...I may get a cat as they are a bit more independent but still, a pet comes with a lot of responsibility".

I think subconsciously she is trying to sway my decision from getting a pet or do you think she's a tad jealous. I was a bit offended by her comment but she can be very out there/too honest for my liking. What do you all think?

She is right, dogs are a huge responsibility and you always have to consider them - always

She’s absolutely right, a pet it a huge commitment and a personal choice. BTW, I assume you’re buying this puppy, couldn’t you have adopted a rescue dog instead?

It’s a reverse.

She is right with what she says, dogs are a big commitment, it’s one of the reasons we don’t have one much as I adore them. Never a french bulldog, I always think less of people who go and buy them.

And a breed that seems to be more of a fashion accessory than a pet.

I have a nearly 9 year old British bulldog she has never been to vets other then to have her annual jabs in her 9years of life I bought her from a Breeder who is researched she also doesn’t have breathing issues she goes out for a good hour twice a day and still comes home bouncing off the walls like she’s 1year old. My cousin owns 2 French bulldogs again neither of them have any health issues or breathing issue. Good breeders have spent years trying to breed health back into these dogs and will have boas and other test carried out on the adults before breeding to ensure poor health isn’t past onto there pups. However I do agree there is alot of back yards breeders who sadly don’t care about the health of the dog or the litter and are only in it for the ££££ they make per pup.

secondly all pedigree dogs have some degree of health condition the German Shepard has hip dysplasia. Dalmatian’s are prone to bladder and kidney stones, King Charles are prone to ear infections, heart disease and so on….

i am sure the op is well aware of the health conditions these dogs may have as was I when I bought my girl 9years ago she’s has been the best dog I’ve had loving caring and extremely patient and gentle with my now 1yr old daughter.

OP your friend is only being honest with a pet you can not be spontaneous and just pack up and go on holiday you need to find a sitter. You can’t go straight out on a night out from work because that pup will need to be let out. They are in some respects like having another child because they are solely reliant on you.

You asked and she answered. She was correct.

Just don't expect your children to walk the dog and pick up its poo when it's lashing down in winter or freezing snow. Extra energy costs for washing it's bedding and dog food isn't cheap.
They can be great companions but you have to be a responsible owner. If you're home schooling one child and another has special needs, that's a lot to take on as well as housework, walking the dog and training it.
Enjoy your new addition. 😁

Don't be offended. She's absolutely right. Our friends got a dog last year and are honest about regretting it. They feel very tied down, they've had to spend ££££ at the vets and can't claim it all back. They underestimated food/vet bills. Days out with the kids to trampolining etc are off the cards and they didn't realise the cost of boarding for their holidays. It's not a decision to take lightly.

I wouldn't get the spontaneity back, I would be worried about leaving it in the house for too long, paying for this and that, having to take it for walks when I don't feel like it. Sometimes- out of the whim, I just want to book a holiday but with a pet, I will have to think about who is going to take care of it, dog sitters..

Is she wrong?

At any rate, from your posts it's clear that you don't like her, at least in part because she lives differently to you. You have decided that it must be because she's jealous of you, and who knows, maybe you're right. But if you don't like her, you don't have to pretend to be friends with her.

Why do you think she would be jealous of you getting a dog?

She is correct. However, I currently have Frenchie after having other dogs and what I didn’t realise how I would totally fall for her and I don’t want to leave her alone or trust others very much looking after her. I don’t want to go away. Also, as a breed they don’t like being left for long - they are bred for companionship. She has allergies and is at the vets quite regularly. She’s had an op to widen her nostrils. They have a whole host of health issues so do your research well. Saying that I wouldn’t be without her as she’s a real character. Think about it carefully as they are a commitment and you will lose your heart 🥰

"I was a bit offended by her comment but she can be very out there/too honest for my liking. What do you all think?"

Then why did you ask her opinion??

Your friend is being truthful and as a dog owner myself, 100% on the money! It sounds like you see this dog as a potential status symbol or fashion accessory. I'm sure your French Bulldog puppy is beautiful, but be sure you are fully committed to the long haul

"I was a bit offended by her comment but she can be very out there/too honest for my liking. What do you all think?"

I think it's hugely bizarre to not like someone who's "too honest" - what do you want her to do when you ask her opinion on something??? Lie?? Who would want that kind of friend? I was told I'm too honest by a good friend a number of times because I gave my actual opinion when they asked, they didn't like my opinion because it didn't fit their narrative and they threw a hissy fit and got offended each time. Don't want honesty, don't bloody ask. Safe to say that I made that person an acquaintance instead of a close friend so be careful how you tread if you want her to remain a close friend.

She's also very true in what she says and i'm a dog owner.

She doesn’t sound jealous- she sounds honest. You asked- she answered.

Btw- there are no ‘responsible’ French Bulldog breeders. Anyone who breeds flat faced dogs can’t be responsible.

I wouldn't worry. That's a lot of food. Maybe do some evening snacks. Just don't stress, the main thing is you enjoy it.

I agree with your friend. Having pets is a lovely, wonderful thing for most people in the right circumstances. They are friendly, loving, loyal, funny companions and bring many people a huge amount of joy and comfort.

But, pets ARE tying. They are a huge commitment and dogs especially have to factor into every decision you make for the next (potentially) 16 years. Work, childcare, holidays, days out, hospital admissions etc all need a contingency plan for what will happen to the dog. What about when the dog is ill, injured or very old. Will that care be available then?

Then there's the money. Affordable nutritious food is one thing but there's the vets bills which over the course of a dog's lifetime, can easily cost many many thousands of pounds. And there's the smaller costs too - kennels or pet sitters, beds, bowls, toys, leads, collars, microchipping, vaccinating, travel to and from vets and pet care. The costs add up and are insurmountable.

With the rising cost of living, it's utterly tragic that many loving, dedicated pet owners are having no option but to hand their pets over to shelters because they can no longer afford to look after them. For some of these people, their pets are all they have and having to give up your only companion is absolutely heartbreaking - but for the pets too who are being separated from their owners through no fault of their own. The rising rates of pet owners having no choice but to hand their companions over should NOT be overlooked by those newly entering the world of pet ownership.

I'm not trying to put you off getting your puppy, and I don't think your friend is either. I don't even think your friend is jealous. I think they are realistic about having to consider a pet's needs almost as much as you'd have to consider those of a small child, for many many years to come.

this absolutely I am unimpressed by your choice of dog and yes until recently I was a dog owner (old beloved dog died) and she is dead right about sponteneity and the huge responsibilty that a dog is. I think she is neither jealous (odd idea) nor rude.

French Bulldogs and Pugs can barely breath and should be banned tbh. Ask any vet how much more treatment they need compared to other dogs.

www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/uk-news/pugs-french-bulldogs-banned-uk-23684575.amp

YABVU. Your friend is 100% right, my mum and step dads life revolves around their commitments for their dog. Mum said she was so glad she waited until her kids were adults/teenagers before getting one.

French Bulldogs have been very trendy the last few years but have more health problems than any other breed. Personally would never buy one .

I hope at least she is a rescue and you haven't made some greeder even richer

Exactly my reasoning for not getting a dog. They're like an extra child that you can't so easily leave with other people. Thy cost more to board and suffer more at being left than cats imo. I have a cat and getting him into a cattery at short notice is impossible in my area. Also, you can't choose your pet's temperament, like your child's. My friend's dog hates people and she can't have visitors or leave him with anyone and she has owned dogs forever. I would love a dog but only when I can dedicate to one.

Of course she's jealous. Who wouldn't want to pick up dog shit every single day for fifteen years or however long it is that dogs live?

OP you look forward to getting your dog. It’s not for everyone (as many have pointed out on here!) but my dogs have enriched my and my family’s life enormously, they are great for your mental health & getting you out the house. Getting a puppy is really exciting so you go ahead & enjoy it!