To be offended by a comment my friend made?

[creamysauce]

Hello :)

So I am getting a gorgeous French Bulldog puppy in a couple of weeks. I was discussing this with a very good friend of mine, about how I'm excited.. yadayada. So I then asked her "Would you ever get a dog or want to own a pet?". She immediately began to burst out laughing and said "No! I want to enjoy my life". A bit I asked "What do you mean by that?"- she then said "As I said it... I want to enjoy my life, owning a pet- particularly a dog, I wouldn't get the spontaneity back, I would be worried about leaving it in the house for too long, paying for this and that, having to take it for walks when I don't feel like it. Sometimes- out of the whim, I just want to book a holiday but with a pet, I will have to think about who is going to take care of it, dog sitters...I may get a cat as they are a bit more independent but still, a pet comes with a lot of responsibility".

I think subconsciously she is trying to sway my decision from getting a pet or do you think she's a tad jealous. I was a bit offended by her comment but she can be very out there/too honest for my liking. What do you all think?

Yes, this is definitely one of those threads where the more the OP says the bigger the hole they're digging themselves into

the friend's bluntness is undoubtedly borne out of the OP making numerous clueless decisions and being fed up with watching the cockups happening time after time despite giving reasonable advice.

Under normal circumstances all that would be needed was "I really don't think it's a good idea to get that breed of dog" for the friend to get it, go off and do their research and realise what their friend was saying was spot-on, but the OP is caught up in a world of cluelessness and thinking they know best.

depressingly I don't think this is a reverse, there are people who are that delusional and don't deserve supportive friends.

Yep, I smell a rat here too...

Yeah, she's so not jealous.
More like she's watched a shit show for a long time and getting a 'trendy' dog is just another part of that. Can't see anything wrong with what she's said about anything tbh. Don't ask if you don't want to hear her sensible advice 🤷‍♀️

Your friend sounds awesome. Raising necessary issues without being “mean”

sadly, I don’t think you’ll take any notice of her - nor of any of the helpful posts on here.

Well she's not wrong..... YABU. How will you even get a mortgage with debt anyway? The dog will cost you a fortune in vet bills, good luck trying to save up for that mortgage. Clearly not been thought out at all.

I am very very aware of the risks associated with French Bulldogs and I am happy to take on those risks. I have seen many French Bull dogs out and about and no way has anyone cursed or insulted the dog owners for getting the bulldog, most people are very nice and cooo over the dogs.

You are spectacularly missing the point about most things here, most worryingly about the dog - as many others have said but you seem to keep ignoring, it has nothing to do with the risks to you, if you want to spend all that money and have the judgement of others, fine, it's about the poor dog suffering and the fact you would be encouraging that awful trade- supply and demand, you know? If you buy one, they breed more. Poor things.

Also, as basically everyone else has said, she is most obviously not jealous of your poor decision making (from your own description, so you can't keep saying you're not explaining clearly or we don't understand!).

Firstly, you say you have researched and have money for the health costs, but you are ignoring the fact that the existence is still cruel to the dog, and you are paying into this cruelty, for what I feel is about status. Which leads me to say I get from your first post that it's about status for you, you deliberately chose a designer dog, and announced it to her almost like a brag, and wanted her to be jealous. The fact that she isn't/has said she wouldn't want a dog basically bursts your bubble a bit, because to feel good you need to her to be jealous.

I actually think you are the one who is jealous. You're jealous of her being the "sensible one", you're jealous that she isn't saddled with a partner who has debts and doesn't pay for anything. Truth be told I think you're jealous of her because she makes sensible choices, where as you are irresponsible and don't think of consequences before doing something. It sounds like she has a better life than you and you bought a designer dog as a status symbol, now you're deflated that she's not jealous or impressed.

You directly asked her and she answered. She's a different person to you who wants different things out of life. That's ok. It's not personal. Stop worrying about it and enjoy your new dog

I am very very aware of the risks associated with French Bulldogs and I am happy to take on those risks.

Yes, but your dog (and every other brachycephalic dog that ever has been/will be unfortunate enough to be caught up in this horrific industry) could probably do without being forced to go through those risks and the associated suffering they will undoubtedly encounter. Your replies are shocking.

I thought she was going to say something about the breed. Don't you know that French bulldogs are bred to be so deformed that they can't independently give birth, drink or even poo without needing human assistance? The breed should be banned in ny opinion.

(there is no argument for disabled human bashing here as humans aren't purposely bred to be disabled for aesthetic reasons.)

She isn't jealous. But she missed something out, picking up poo.

People like the OP are the reason these poor dogs are suffering allover the world.

She’s willing to take the risk the dog will be unhealthy, it’s fine because aesthetically it will be what she wants.

No mention of the poor dog who has no choice but to live in a deformed body, barely able to breathe, with skin problems and allergies, spine and digestive issues and waiting at any point for its eyes to pop out of its non existing sockets.

Nevermind though her main concern is whether her friend will like it 🙄

No the wonder they are such angry little dogs.

FFS OP, why do you want your friend to be jealous of you? Will you not enjoy your dog / life unless you know others covet it?

When you asked your friend were you hoping she would respond "oh yes, I would LOVE a dog but I can't have one because XYZ and it just KILLS me. You're so lucky, I wish I could get a puppy like yours" ?

If she wanted a dog she would get a fucking dog.

I've met people like you, they always want more and they're always miserable.

Creamy, put the house in your name... not on his name, let him prove to you first". Instead, it was like " no no no don't get a house with him". she's basically saying the same thing!

I have seen many French Bull dogs out and about and no way has anyone cursed or insulted the dog owners for getting the bulldog, most people are very nice and cooo over the dogs why do you care so much what other people's reaction to the dog will be? What if you get the dog and everyone is indifferent as it's just another dog? I don't think you're getting a dog for the right reason. It's not for your insta.

I'd think you were really scummy for buying a dog from a breeder and not getting one of the many many rescue dogs that desperately need a home. And I'd hate that you had chose a fashionable breed which is known for awful health issues. I wouldn't care about the impact on your time though.

Yeah, I'm sure shes super jealous of you kidding yourself about wasting another 5 years trying to encourage responsibility in this man. putting the house in your name is pointless especially if you plan to marry him. I've read your posts and you are making wilfully bad choices, I cant even imagine how much patience your friend has. Adding a dog to your enormous responsibilities, wasting money on vet bills that you could avoid entirely by getting a rescue dog (because there is no such thing as an ethical breeder, particularly one breeding bracocephalic ones) when that money could go on your kids. And then you ask her opinion on something and she tells you and you waste your time getting mad at her.

She isnt jealous of you. I suspect you make a lot of poor decisions and her telling you shes jealous of your bravery is a her being polite and building your self esteem. Did you notice she complimented your spirit and not the choices you made? It's like praising a toddler for how well they used the brush when the painting is just blobs of swirled colours.

I think all what she has said is true.

Haha nice one, you had me for a while

You are spectacularly missing the point here.

BREEDING THESE DOGS IS CRUEL. IN GETTING ONE, YOU ARE ENABLING ANIMAL CRUELTY.

She wasn't rude, she was truthful. And one trait that irritates me in people is when they do something & they think everyone should. I'm getting a dog, why don't you get one? Always makes me far more likely to do the opposite.

In both those instances it sounds like she was being a good friend, telling you the truth. If you can't handle that don't tell her things. Also why did you mention the dog to her again when she'd already given you her opinion? If you can't handle contrary opinions, don't tell her things.

Every single reply: don't get a Frenchie, it's cruel, and your friend is just honest.

OP: I'm getting one because I want one and I still think my friend is just jealous.

I'm jealous of you. You have a friend who is willing to risk your friendship by being honest and truthful, even when they know you won't want to hear it.

Agree I won’t get anymore

I am very very aware of the risks associated with French Bulldogs and I am happy to take on those risks. I have seen many French Bull dogs out and about and no way has anyone cursed or insulted the dog owners for getting the bulldog, most people are very nice and cooo over the dogs.

Jesus wept, could you be any more stupid and self-absorbed? 😂