To be offended by a comment my friend made?

[creamysauce]

Hello :)

So I am getting a gorgeous French Bulldog puppy in a couple of weeks. I was discussing this with a very good friend of mine, about how I'm excited.. yadayada. So I then asked her "Would you ever get a dog or want to own a pet?". She immediately began to burst out laughing and said "No! I want to enjoy my life". A bit I asked "What do you mean by that?"- she then said "As I said it... I want to enjoy my life, owning a pet- particularly a dog, I wouldn't get the spontaneity back, I would be worried about leaving it in the house for too long, paying for this and that, having to take it for walks when I don't feel like it. Sometimes- out of the whim, I just want to book a holiday but with a pet, I will have to think about who is going to take care of it, dog sitters...I may get a cat as they are a bit more independent but still, a pet comes with a lot of responsibility".

I think subconsciously she is trying to sway my decision from getting a pet or do you think she's a tad jealous. I was a bit offended by her comment but she can be very out there/too honest for my liking. What do you all think?

I am very very aware of the risks associated with French Bulldogs and I am happy to take on those risks. I have seen many French Bull dogs out and about and no way has anyone cursed or insulted the dog owners for getting the bulldog, most people are very nice and cooo over the dogs.

this Is why you want the dog isn’t it op. You want the perceived status and attention and people “cooing” over your dog. It’s an extension of the instagram “look at me” world.

They should be banned and you should be ashamed of your part in perpetuating animal cruelty.

I am very conscious about the health needs of these dogs but I feel the money would be worth plus, myself and my partner, are in a comfortable financial position to pay the upcoming costs, concerning, health needs that the dog may eventually have.

Translation: I don’t actually give a fuck about the welfare of my dog - I’m happy to perpetuate the trade in animals purposely bred for a lifetime of distress and discomfort because, you know, I deserve something cuuuute (squeeeee). And I can afford it, so 🤷‍♀️

Honestly, this

She is a very very critical person

Sounds like she has every reason to be

I assumed this thread was going to be about buying a dog with deformities and the friend making comments about that. I would have too.

"I am very very aware of the risks associated with French Bulldogs and I am happy to take on those risks."

You .might be happy to take those risks but what people are saying is you should be ashamed in your part on encouraging the continuation of incredibly cruel breeding practices because you think they look "cute"

Oh mate. The delusion.

She is being completely realistic and she's right. Why on earth do you think she's jealous? Does it not occur to you that some people really don't want to own a dog? The reasons she's given are exactly the reasons I would never get a dog. I have a cat because they're more independent but even with my cat I feel guilty about leaving him alone and going on holiday. I know he suffers. I know several dog owners who won't go away without their dog which severely limits their holiday options. I have one friend who won't even have a day out without their dog. That's no life for me. Dogs are a big responsibility and I think you should consider it very carefully - pros and cons

Yes, quite. And the galling thing is that she is not the one actually taking any 'risks', it's the poor dog who is taking all the risks with it's life. The dog is the one who will struggle to breathe because some shallow, self indulgent, heartless woman wants to 'look good' to other people with her designer status symbol. She doesn't care about the risks to the dog or how the dog feels, only her shallow nasty self and her status.

www.boredpanda.com/french-bulldog-breeder-reingeener-dog-face

French Bulldogs have the Brachycephalic obstructive airway syndrome (BOAS), which means that they have difficulty breathing and they start panting with their tongues sticking out even during a light walk. The syndrome is caused by a skull malformation which developed because of selective breeding.

That skull malformation made the nostril openings too narrow. The dogs also have a long soft palate and fairly narrow tracheas, which adds to the breathing problems. It’s serious enough to lead to death.

www.hawbucks.nl/franse-bulldog/en/

She wasn't being rude at all. Dogs are a huge commitment. I hope you have thought about all the things she pointed out?

It sounds like she's a good friend looking out for you.

Maybe you're in denial about your p and how wonderful he is?

Anyone actively supports this abuse by buying one of these dogs should be ostracised from the community/society. Once you are made aware of this abuse, to continue to support it by buying one makes you lower than low, imo.

I'm just going to bow out of the thread. Thank you everyone for giving me your honest opinions. But I didn't not want a thread to be about criticising my choice of dog. I have already brought the dog, my children are excited that we are going to get a puppy in the next few weeks. I can't just say "oh sorry, I've decided not to get the dog anymore because I'm worried about its health risks..." my DC's will be upset and it's cruel to the dog. I'm sorry, I won't do it. I have made my bed and decided to lie in it. I would give the dog the best life I could give it- even with associated health risks.

"I'm sorry kids I have realised it was a very irresponsible choice of dog breed and we must choose another dog" is the best outcome possible actually.

You're teaching your kids a terrible lesson here.

She isn't wrong. I have dogs and they're a bloody big responsibility and sometimes I wish I'd not got them

This. If she promised the kids 'a' dog, she can just get a puppy from a shelter. Reneging on the purchase out of principle is not 'cruel', continuing with the sale instead of cancelling it is what is cruel to the dog.

lol, this thread went well for you didn’t it OP? 😂

I knew about the breathing issues, but not the poo.

At risk of learning something that can’t be unlearned, could I ask what form this “assistance” might need to take?

That is exactly what you should say to your children.

Jesus wept.

Poor dog and poor kids by the sounds of your chaotic life.

I’m willing to bet that if she posts again she’ll give it a damned good try.

Why would you be offended unless the truth hurts a little. I don't think she's jealous at all. You asked her a question and she gave an honest answer and everything she said is right.

Agreed here too

You are getting a dog, & asked your friend if she would ever get one. She told you no, & when you couldn't accept that & interrogated her as to why not, she gave you the reasons SHE would not want a dog.

You chose to interpret that as personal criticism.

You want to buy a house with your partner, & your friend rightly urged caution, because your partner has poor money management skills & leaves the bill-paying to you.

Again - you chose to interpret that as personal criticism.

Why would you want to buy a house with a man who doesn't bother paying for the bills and racks up so much debt. It wouldn't get better when you own a house, in fact, the stress would be entirely on you as you would be the one fretting about mortgage payments.
She's got a very good point, & instead of feeling grateful for her concern & common sense, you are ignoring the facts & doubling down with denial & delusion:
myself and my partner, are in a comfortable financial position

Which is it OP?
Because you can't be living with a man who is feckless about bills & would leave the mortgage up to you to pay, AND be in a comfortable financial position.

Get your puppy, & get your mortgage. But do NOT buy your house with this man.
he has a long way to go before you should trust him with any kind of joint finances. Let alone a mortgage when he has form for not paying his bills.

And work on your own resilience. Why are you so dependent on your friend's opinion, & upset when it is different from your own?