To be offended by a comment my friend made?

[creamysauce]

Hello :)

So I am getting a gorgeous French Bulldog puppy in a couple of weeks. I was discussing this with a very good friend of mine, about how I'm excited.. yadayada. So I then asked her "Would you ever get a dog or want to own a pet?". She immediately began to burst out laughing and said "No! I want to enjoy my life". A bit I asked "What do you mean by that?"- she then said "As I said it... I want to enjoy my life, owning a pet- particularly a dog, I wouldn't get the spontaneity back, I would be worried about leaving it in the house for too long, paying for this and that, having to take it for walks when I don't feel like it. Sometimes- out of the whim, I just want to book a holiday but with a pet, I will have to think about who is going to take care of it, dog sitters...I may get a cat as they are a bit more independent but still, a pet comes with a lot of responsibility".

I think subconsciously she is trying to sway my decision from getting a pet or do you think she's a tad jealous. I was a bit offended by her comment but she can be very out there/too honest for my liking. What do you all think?

I agree with her - no need to be offended if you’re happy with your Choice

This. Don't ask people questions if you are too narrow minded to listen to any answers that aren't what you want to hear.

Your friend does sound wise on both points - the dog and the partner. Maybe listen to her more.

I'd love a dog but wouldn't because of the lack of flexibility it would bring. I am spontaneous and love to just go away or go out after work, and on the off chance, whenever I please. I couldn't do that with a dog.

I'd never let a man live off me either, not pay their way and wrack up debts. Sounds like seriously bad news.

I have an 11month old dog. What she said is completely true. It’s been a nightmare. We’re on our second trainer now. She is right about spontaneity. Our dog has separation anxiety and we hardly leave him. So many other problems too but I wouldn’t send him back lol

Not read whole thread but from the opening post; good on your friend, so sick of hearing about and seeing people get dogs with no thought at all like they are furniture. Makes my blood boil. (Not having a go at you op).

That’s exactly how I feel about dogs. My DH wants one one day. I really don’t. It’s like having a permanent toddler. However unlike toddlers they can’t fly on planes, they never really grow in to independent beings and your always have to pick up their poo. Ooh and they can bite you.
A cat, yes i would consider.
Ive spend year bringing up my beautiful children. I’d rather have another baby than a dog.

OP your friend is being as honest as the day is long ! Quite agree with every word she has said .. hence why I don’t own a dog

Oh op, I’m cringing for you. Why would she be jealous, having a pet is not exclusive to you and something folks aspire to but can’t achieve. And why would she dissuade you, I’m sure she doesn’t give a shit.

she’s right, and I say this as a dog owner, it’s a shit load of responsibility, the daily walks, can’t be left alone for more than a couple of hours, the vets bills, the care, you can’t just go out and stay out.

she was doing neither, she was stating a fact.

I agree with her. Pets are cute (some of them) but they do restrict your life. Did that with DC. What's not right for her shouldn't rain on your what's right for me parade. YKWIM.

I’m not sure why you’re offended that she has a viewpoint different to your own? You must get offended a lot if that’s the case.

Its no different to someone saying to a parent that they themselves don’t want children because they don’t want anyone dependant on them. It would never occur to me to find that offensive.

She’s 100% right. My dog is my 4th child - his needs are important and I couldn’t plan anything for my family without considering his needs. A pet isn’t a fancy thing you can just pack off somewhere, you need to consider what is best for them and look after them as you would a child. YABVVVVVVU in my opinion!

I think you don't like what she has said because it's true and maybe you haven't wanted to ponder the downside of owning a dog. If it has made you think twice, don't be afraid of admitting you've had second thoughts. It's a sign of strength, not an embarrassing climb down.

You're overthinking it.

You want a dog - she'll probably like YOUR dog - but se doesn't want one of her own because they are very tying. And they are.

I agree with your friend. Can I give you some unsolicited advice @creamysauce ?
don’t ask a question if you don’t want to hear the answer.

our dog, Murphy died a few years ago, since then we’ve enjoyed weekends away, city breaks, Christmas with our daughter, days out that last 12+ hours. If we are away longer, we book the cat sitter (lovely lady)

Dogs are a huge commitment.

You’re being ridiculous. Why in earth would you take offence at your friend’s honest answer? I would say exactly the same if anyone asked me if I’d ever have a dog (and I might add that I can’t stand them as they’re noisy, slobbery, smelly and annoyingly needy). You asked the question. She is definitely not jealous, believe me.

Your friend sounds very sensible.

Op firstly how can you be in a comfortable financial position and also renting with s partner you’re not sure will pay the rent , doesn’t pay bills and has debt?these are polar opposites

please be careful with insurance, most exclude generic conditions but also they exclude the following year if anything occurs in this year,,so has a problem breathing, next year anything related to this at all is excluded.. It will likely cost you thousands upon thousands,

in addition this breed is notoriously difficult to train, particularly house train.

I wish you the best of luck and would say eveyone needs a friend like yours. She ain’t jealous. She really isn’t.

You asked your friend if she wanted a pet OP. She was just honestly referring to her own situation and why she wouldn’t get one. I could understand you being a bit put out if she just launched into a moan about ownership out of the blue when you mentioned you were getting one but it wasn’t in that context - it was in response to you asking about her plans.

It’s true though, the amount of times I have heard friends with dogs (lovely as they are) saying they can’t stay out late because of the dog or don’t want to leave the dog to go on holiday or can’t spontaneously do many things because of the dog. You’re being over sensitive. It’s your decision to get the dog. People love their dogs so I am sure you will get a lot in return. But it is a huge responsibility and also does restrict some of the things you can do.

Absolutely this! I have had so many dog owning friends try to convince me I should get a dog.
I tell them I don't really like dogs that much and don't want the responsibility / expense / inconvenience etc etc but they just keep on. Surely they should applaud me for recognising I would not be a good dog owner and not try to convince me to bring a dog in to my home when I'm ambivalent at best but actually swinging more towards not liking dogs much.

Crikey I’ve learned something tonight! I hate dogs and know nothing about them, but 5 minutes of Googling has taught me that it’s really cruel to own the type of dog you want. You say you did your research but you can’t have researched very well. You want it because it’s gorgeous? That’s incredibly shallow OP. That poor dog.

Nothing I regret more than getting a dog 2.5 years ago. I wish someone had slapped some sense into me back then. I have 3 kids and he is more of a commitment than them.

She's telling the truth.
If you don't like the sound of it, maybe you need to rethink taking on a dog.

I doubt that she’s jealous of your deformed dog

Yabu she is correct. She is definitely not jealous op.