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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be offended by a comment my friend made?

689 replies

creamysauce · 06/08/2022 17:31

Hello :)

So I am getting a gorgeous French Bulldog puppy in a couple of weeks. I was discussing this with a very good friend of mine, about how I'm excited.. yadayada. So I then asked her "Would you ever get a dog or want to own a pet?". She immediately began to burst out laughing and said "No! I want to enjoy my life". A bit Confused I asked "What do you mean by that?"- she then said "As I said it... I want to enjoy my life, owning a pet- particularly a dog, I wouldn't get the spontaneity back, I would be worried about leaving it in the house for too long, paying for this and that, having to take it for walks when I don't feel like it. Sometimes- out of the whim, I just want to book a holiday but with a pet, I will have to think about who is going to take care of it, dog sitters...I may get a cat as they are a bit more independent but still, a pet comes with a lot of responsibility".

I think subconsciously she is trying to sway my decision from getting a pet or do you think she's a tad jealous. I was a bit offended by her comment but she can be very out there/too honest for my liking. What do you all think?

OP posts:
Cantstandbullshit · 06/08/2022 20:20

creamysauce · 06/08/2022 18:21

The issue with my partner, I agreed. So I have decided that we are going to rent a place together, with the kids, and see how he does paying for the rent. If all goes well, then we would plan again and buy a house.

I'm not sure if I'm being clear. But it's sort of like having a friend who gives an opinion in all aspects of your life. It's draining.

I do feel she's a bit jealous. She had always been the sensible one and is very risk adverse. I think because of that, it gets in the way of her decision making.

Every time you respond you sound more and more like a fool.

Please tell your friend you don’t. Alice her input so she can mind her business and you go ahead and continue to make stupid mistakes like buying a house with a man who can’t afffodd to pay his bills and racks up debt. You admit she was right and she is the sensible one yet also mad she gives you sensible advice that is right.

You seem determined to make mistakes so go ahead and stop telling her about your life or asking her opinion about anything.

FullBush · 06/08/2022 20:21

Cool story..

TommySaid · 06/08/2022 20:24

if she said all that, I'd say she needs to stfu. She lacks a social filter!

She didn’t say anything wrong!

I’d hate to be friends with anyone who doesn’t like hearing the truth and just wants everyone to agree with whatever they do and compliment them on the great choices they’ve made.

In fact I wouldn’t be friends with anyone like that.

StillHappy · 06/08/2022 20:30

daisychain01 · 06/08/2022 19:35

She immediately began to burst out laughing and said "No! I want to enjoy my life". A bit Confused I asked "What do you mean by that?"- she then said "As I said it... I want to enjoy my life, owning a pet- particularly a dog, I wouldn't get the spontaneity back, I would be worried about leaving it in the house for too long, paying for this and that, having to take it for walks when I don't feel like it. Sometimes- out of the whim, I just want to book a holiday but with a pet, I will have to think about who is going to take care of it, dog sitters...I may get a cat as they are a bit more independent but still, a pet comes with a lot of responsibility".

if she said all that, I'd say she needs to stfu. She lacks a social filter!

She was explicitly asked.

mycatisannoying · 06/08/2022 20:31

YABU.

wherearebeefandonioncrisps · 06/08/2022 20:31

YANBU in wanting a dog but your friend is spot on in terms of commitment.
So many people have taken a dog on in the last few years and have suddenly realised that they require so much more than being something to walk for a few minutes a day. They also require a lot of attention.

YABU to get a French bulldog.
Brachycephalic dogs require so much more in terms of medical interventions . This breed has been cruelly interbred resulting in almost every pregnancy requiring Caesarian deliveries.

'Data showed that French bulldogs were at "significantly greater risk" in developing disorders such as a 42-times greater chance of narrowed nostrils, a 30-times greater chance of obstructive airways syndrome, an 11-times greater chance of skin dermatitis and a nine-times greater chance of having difficulty giving birth ...16 Dec 2021'

Please don't buy one.
Most people are unaware of the constant pain that many suffer from as a result of the fashion for breeding this dog.

I , and many others, would love for this breed to become extinct.

malificent7 · 06/08/2022 20:33

She is right! I feel the same and couldn't be less jealous!

Beepbeepenergy · 06/08/2022 20:34

She has all the same reasons why I don’t want one.. except I have a bigger reason to add to these other reasons and that is the heartbreak when they die
no thanks

entropynow · 06/08/2022 20:34

PurpleMarie · 06/08/2022 17:33

You’re being ridiculous. As some one who owns a dog, everything she said is true. she also didn’t volunteer this - you asked her point-blank and she answered with valid reasons.

Also - fuck off with the “tad jealous” - it’s a dog, not the mega millions.

This. Also, bulldogs are fugly and often suffer myriad health problems from inbreeding.

Beepbeepenergy · 06/08/2022 20:34

I’d rather buy/have a nice car :)

MaraScottie · 06/08/2022 20:35

Terrible breed of dog, along with pugs. I think you're doing the wrong thing OP by financing breeders to create more of these health-disasters.

ILikeHotWaterBottles · 06/08/2022 20:36

saraclara · 06/08/2022 19:47

I'm going there.

The question I always want to ask people who have or want French bulldogs is "if you were pregnant and it was possible, would you ask your obstetrician if they could make the baby deformed in some way that made them uncomfortable and would shorten their life, so that they looks cuter than other people's babies?"

You're deliberately choosing for a dog to be brought into the world who will struggle with every breath it takes, and have generally poor health for all its life. But "aawww, it's so cute!"

It's not even cute. They are ugly as fuck, they have almost no noses. Nothing that should have a nose that doesn't is cute. It's not even like it was a once in a lifetime mess up with genes either, that can't be helped, this is just shit breeding. And op is yet another mug that has fallen for it.

Midnightblack · 06/08/2022 20:38

I don’t think your friend was unreasonable, but I don’t see what you’ve said that merits being told to fuck off by some posters.

Bellyups · 06/08/2022 20:38

If you are offended by her opinion then you are absolutely ridiculous.
FWIW - she speaks the truth.
Are you always so overly sensitive?

superram · 06/08/2022 20:41

That’s exactly how I feel too. E dept I’d be worse as french bulldogs are notorious for geaoth problems. I don’t envy you at all and I’m too selfish to have a dog.

oblada · 06/08/2022 20:41

Your friend was being honest.
No point having friends if they are not honest really.

superram · 06/08/2022 20:41

Except, health-I’m tired!

OldFan · 06/08/2022 20:42

Just her opinion and it's an accurate description of life as a dog (or even pet) owner, I think.

Whether people want to be one could depend on whether they want to just take a trip whenever they want without have to have extra organizing/costs, or whether they work a lot, and so on.

WTF475878237NC · 06/08/2022 20:43

You just aren’t getting it, are you? People are not against you buying the breed because of the cost, so your “worth the money” comment makes no sense. They are against it as these dogs are deformed, and suffer because of these deformities. Buying one ensures breeders will keep breeding them, which is unequivocally cruel.

  • yes this is the issue. You shouldn't be supporting this breeder.
JocelynBurnell · 06/08/2022 20:44

I do feel she's a bit jealous. She had always been the sensible one and is very risk adverse. I think because of that, it gets in the way of her decision making.

I don't think she is jealous.

I think that she is worried that you seem incapable of thinking things through. You have a lot on your plate and she is justifiably concerned.

WTF475878237NC · 06/08/2022 20:44

Also having read your updates it sounds like your friend has the measure of your "partner".

Randomthoughts992 · 06/08/2022 20:45

Honesty, i will NEVER get a dog again. Everything ruined, all my time spent with a dog that needs my attention 24/7 .. worse than children.

autienotnaughty · 06/08/2022 20:45

I don't understand you asked her opinion and she gave it?? If you want and are happy having a dog what does it matter if someone else doesn't want that. You've done your research you know everything she said is true, you know the commitment and expense it takes to own and train a dog . It's right for u it's not right for her. That's fine.

Maybeebebe · 06/08/2022 20:48

You think she is jealous????

Of your getting a dog???

Of this???
Are you crazy! Why would you want to buy a house with a man who doesn't bother paying for the bills and racks up so much debt. It wouldn't get better when you own a house, in fact, the stress would be entirely on you as you would be the one fretting about mortgage payments".

Ontomatopea · 06/08/2022 20:48

creamysauce · 06/08/2022 18:21

The issue with my partner, I agreed. So I have decided that we are going to rent a place together, with the kids, and see how he does paying for the rent. If all goes well, then we would plan again and buy a house.

I'm not sure if I'm being clear. But it's sort of like having a friend who gives an opinion in all aspects of your life. It's draining.

I do feel she's a bit jealous. She had always been the sensible one and is very risk adverse. I think because of that, it gets in the way of her decision making.

Shes not jealous of your partner. That would be ridiculous.

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