To be annoyed that dss's mum is wearing things i bought him

[evolvq]

Just that really.

Dss is a teen, i buy him clothes / trainers etc, when i picked him up today his mum was wearing the trainers i bought him. He has grown out of them which is why he isn't, but I just feel really put out by it.

Would you be annoyed by this? (Other step-mums)

He has grown out of them

They don’t fit him anymore!

YABU. His mum is wearing his cast offs presumably with his permission.

Not if he's grown out of them no

🤦🏻‍♀️

No, if he's grown out of them that's absolutely fine. It's that or they would be in the charity shop.

Not at all. It's great someone is getting some wear out of them. I don't see why it matters who is getting the wear out of them. He has grown out of them, it's not like she robbed his brand new shoes for herself.

He’s grown out of them. What do you expect her to do with them now they no longer fit him? Throw them in the bin? Or did want them back so you can wear a teenage boys old trainers?

No. I’d be glad they’re being reused TBH.

When you gift someone something you do it on the understanding that you have no say whatsoever on what happens to the gift after the recipient has used it.

what do you think should have happened to outgrown shoes?

Would they fit you? Does he have other siblings you wanted them passed onto?

If no then YABU.

😳

Sorry no that was just the trainers today but she is often in his clothes that still fit him and has jokingly said to dss tell her to buy you x y & z (meaning so she can wear it)

It feels disrespectful to be honest.

One time he came over he wanted to wear his (designer) top i got him and was upset as it was in the wash because she had worn it the day before!

Given the state of the economy, perhaps she is trying to save money?

Why does this bother you so much?

Fair play to her for sustainability. I do it with my DDs. She could also be like me, wearing them to save money. I could not and would not begrudge her this.

Once you've bought them, it's not your decision who wears them, though.

If someone bought my kids designer tops I’d probably nick them too
<Miss Trunchbull voice> “Much too good for children” 😂

Seriously though this in not a problem. If he gave it to a friend after having it would you complain?

No power on this earth would have got any one of my sons trainers on my feet when they were teenagers, they should have had toxic warning signs on them.
Apart from that I see no problem, reuse and recycle and all that .

He's a big boy. If he has a problem with it, he needs to tell her/wash his own clothes/ask for a lock on his door.

The trainers I can't see a problem but the bloody cheek of telling dss to ask for things so she can wear them is horrible! What a cheeky cow!

The trainers are a non-issue.
The clothes are fine if he doesn't mind.

She was joking....

I'm guessing you buy him clothes and trainers as his parents can't afford to? Or are you showing them you can afford designer clothes for him? Would you care as much if you had bought the trainers from primark?

Don't be daft that's just how families work. My teens use my shower & skin products I wear their hoodies & slides. I'm sure if he wanted to wear his ' designer' top he could have whipped it out if the basket & given it a quick wash.

Perhaps you could send over a poor person’s top for her next time you buy him a ‘designer’ top.