To be annoyed that dss's mum is wearing things i bought him

[evolvq]

Just that really.

Dss is a teen, i buy him clothes / trainers etc, when i picked him up today his mum was wearing the trainers i bought him. He has grown out of them which is why he isn't, but I just feel really put out by it.

Would you be annoyed by this? (Other step-mums)

I wear my DS's outgrown clothes, I'd wear things that weren't outgrown if I'd run out and he hadn't. Though, nothing he'd be likely to need and I'd ask first what was okay to borrow. I've lent him a a t-shirt or jumper before too. I wear a mix of men's and women's stuff and I'm a XS in t-shirts, he's a S. He's borrowed his DGF's jeans before, they are just clothes!

Even with the massive drip feed, I still can't get fussed about the trainers, which is what your OP is about.

Because she bought the clothes. She says it in her opening post.

I would be annoyed tbh..

Why would she even WANT to wear anything you get her son just weird in my opinion

I see no issue if her son doesn't mind.

Don’t buy him stuff then

Wouldn't mind about the too small stuff like trainers if they were in worn condition and not worth selling.
However I'd expect that you were offered it back first as you bought it. I sell on my kids better stuff to fund the next lot, so I'd not be happy with this if that was the case. If you are buying his clothes, it is up to you if you want to sell them on to buy new ones.

There's nothing weird about wearing your teenager's clothes. Literally 1000s of teens and parents borrow each others things.

The only thing that annoys me is the fact that his mother had worn the top the day before and it was in the wash 😡
What was she doing ? Working in a sewer.

Yes I do find this annoying; DSDs mum frequently did this with stuff that we bought for DSD and even tried to get us to buy her technology that she clearly wanted for herself

I'm a step-mum.

I wouldn't be annoyed by this. Not unless I'd asked for the shoes and clothes back after he'd outgrown them.

Bothy my SDD and DD -stole- borrowed a lot of my things and as they outgrew me gave me some of their things, as well as kindly letting me have sole use of my own stuff

And tbh I buy some things, including recently a handbag, with the intention of sharing them with DC (and DSD when she’s around).

What do you want to happen with things he’s outgrown?

Would the things fit you?

I can’t see the problem, but then I’ve acquired a few nice hoodies that my dc have grown out of. It never occurred to me to check who had given them these hoodies so I could check if they mind me wearing them and if it had occurred to me I still wouldn’t have asked.

Bio-mum here... ln regards stuff he has out grown, l wouldn't be bothered. But stuff he still wears I'd be pissed off on behalf of DSS.

Only thing he can do, is bring the clothes back to yours.

My XH is weirdly possessive over DS clothes that he has purchased... l don't wear them.... l don't care who has purchased what items...or whose house they're at, as long as DS has clothes to wear when he needs too.

I always wanted my DCs trainers but they were trashed. Then his feet got too big.

You bought them for him, he outgrew them. So I dont see the problem.

Her wearing his stuff that still fits is odd.

OPs like this make me genuinely wonder what the fuck is wrong with some people.

I assume if he doesn’t like it he could say no.

It feels disrespectful to be honest

Disrespectful? How exactly is it "disrespectful"?

It's one of those modish words which means sod all.

I couldn't even begin to care about this.

🙄

Do you want the outgrown trainers back so you can rewear or sell them? If that's the case tell dss so that he can return the shoes next time.

It's unclear if dss cares about sharing clothes. He was annoyed by the designer top needing washing but perhaps he can try and remember to do a laundry load before he wants to wear it next time.I have a 15yo ds who often does a wash because he wants to wear a certain item the next day which is a useful skill to have.

Does she know that you and your partner have separate finances? If she had joint finances with him then she might assume that your money is yours and dss dad's money

Stop buying him stuff?

I'd find it a bit odd tbh - not sure why as its sort of recycling the old stuff. Even my children don't share clothes anymore as they have their own styles.

Outgrown stuff, perfectly ok but current clothes definitely no. He needs to tell her, if he feels he can't you need to speak up for him.

This is MN OP where the SM is expected to just give money away to the SC and the SC's mum. I bet if the boot (or indeed, the trainer), was on the other foot and you were wearing stuff the mum had bought for her DC al hell would break lose on here.