My aunt is laughing that her dd is engaged to a married man...

[BarbaraPickle]

I am so When she told me, it was with a giggle & comedy 'oops'. I wanted to stand up to her and say behind your dd's engagement is a woman beside herself with distress (the man has two dc, 5 & 4). The reason my aunt found it funny was because she herself pinched another woman's dh. She said 'apple doesn't fall far from the tree' & giggled like it was 'naughty'. She justified her own behaviour because my aunt & uncle had a very long & happy marriage until he died. The rest of the family is falling in line behind the new couple. I just feel ick about the whole thing. The divorce is barely underway & they've already chosen a honeymoon in the Seychelles.🙁

I think if your cousin invites you to the wedding, you should very publicly reject the invitation and tell everyone why. Under no circumstances should you take the risk of anyone not knowing that you’re a much better person than she is.

Wow, judgey much? I’m not the ‘other woman’ type but honestly don’t think it’s any of my business to judge how others conduct themselves in relationships.

Sounds like they’re serious if they’re engaged, so they might be a better match than this guy and his current wife. It’s tough but relationships are complex and difficult and rarely understood from the outside.

You come across superciliously snooty and VERY judgey to me, OP. Here’s to hoping you never awkwardly fall for someone in a relationship.

@ReneBumsWombats obviously the men are awful too, however OP was talking about her aunt and cousins?

@LaughingCat you sound like someone who cheated with a married man?

And the bride's father never filled it.

When I'm supreme ruler of the world, I'm going to have every hoary, misogynistic, bullshit phrase and idiom put up against the wall and shot. And this stupid line is going first.

It's unclear @BarbaraPickle how you know the the ex so well?

Yes, that's the point. Men are shit but OP is choosing to talk about the women. And how they "pinched" the men. This bollocks honestly needs to fuck off. If your bloke's a sexually incontinent dog, that's on him.

My God, don't do this. Refuse the invitation if you can't attend graciously. But if you actually try to publicise it and go around telling all the guests why, implying that they're all terrible people if they go, you'll really deserve everything you get.

You are technically right but.. it’s none of your business and there’s nothing you can do, so why waste time on them? Just ignore.

@WomanStanleyWoman2

If the OP did this, her being a better person is not the message that would be conveyed.

Kind of my point…😉

Oh, my apologies.

In the meantime, another OP who knows exactly which buttons to press, pressed them and went AWOL ...

I think I'd be separating myself from this family.

@MarieIVanArkleStinks exactly! I reported as soon as I read post!

I can believe it's genuine. The nasty misogyny has been echoed by many posters.

Like I said, @AprilRae91 I’m not that type, I’ve never been unlucky enough to fall for someone who is already in a relationship - I was just saying that I don’t judge those that do. I can’t imagine what’s going on in that relationship so I don’t have the right to pass judgement either way.

But interesting that, despite me saying I haven’t cheated with a married man, you immediately went there and accused me of it 😂

Oh yes, there's that one too. If you hold men entirely responsible for their own sexual ethics, you must be shagging a MM. There can be no other thought process.

Fuck me, it's depressing. 2022 and we're still stuck in this shite.

I know, right? I find it amusing but at the same time despair that we’re still stuck in this misogynistic mindset. Worrying that that commenter has the number ‘91’ in her username as, if that really is her year of birth, it isn’t getting any better, either. sighs

Is the Dcousin well paid - if he has two children already then the maintenance payments will make a hole in their budget.

YABU to post on MN instead of speaking to your aunt.

Also if he's in the middle of a divorce, I'm not sure 'married man' is the correct term. But I can see how 'her DD is engaged to someone who is separated' wouldn't have given you such a salacious title.

OP I hear you. I’m pretty sure my ex was engaged before we were actually divorced, also with fairly young DC. It’s pretty shit really, especially for the kids.

I just don’t get what’s so appealing about someone’s sloppy seconds 🤷🏽‍♀️

Amen @TheMilkyWeigh!
I found myself in a similar position - stuck with a controlling/manipulative/abusive ExH who kept messing about refusing to sign things and being awkward. I met current partner 6 months after splitting from ExH and neither of us ever intended on getting into anything serious as we had both recently ended long term relationships but it just clicked. I was able to start divorce proceedings after 2 yrs as exH consented but then started dragging his feet (last bit of control he had over me) and was pregnant with our (new partner and my) first LG while divorce was going through. I was in such a state thinking that it wouldn't come through in time and that my exHs surname would have to be on my beautiful babies birth certificate as a part of my name and I didnt want the twat anywhere near any bit of her. (I needn't have panicked cus then covid hit 2 weeks before she was born and we couldnt get an appointment to register her til she was almost 9 months old anyways!).
If anyone had told me I was a shitty person for falling for a new guy and getting pregnant while legally still married to my ExH I'd have told them exactly which stop to get off at. I was not the villain and certainly did not deserve to be judged for simply finding the kind of happiness that I had never thought I deserved.

❤️