My aunt is laughing that her dd is engaged to a married man...

[BarbaraPickle]

I am so When she told me, it was with a giggle & comedy 'oops'. I wanted to stand up to her and say behind your dd's engagement is a woman beside herself with distress (the man has two dc, 5 & 4). The reason my aunt found it funny was because she herself pinched another woman's dh. She said 'apple doesn't fall far from the tree' & giggled like it was 'naughty'. She justified her own behaviour because my aunt & uncle had a very long & happy marriage until he died. The rest of the family is falling in line behind the new couple. I just feel ick about the whole thing. The divorce is barely underway & they've already chosen a honeymoon in the Seychelles.🙁

Make tasteless jokes back. Haha auntie, guess she’d better watch out once they’re married aye? Once a man marries his mistress he creates a vacancy. She’d better keep an eye on him at the honeymoon hahahah.

The rotten apple from the poisonous tree obviously.

Someday the shoe may be ( will!) on the other foot regarding your cousin; then you can sit back and laugh.

Sorry I don't know how to strike through on here.

Actually, behind that engagement is an utter arse of a man who has betrayed his wife, neglected his children & will most likely treat your cousin every bit as appallingly.
Women cannot pinch men as they are not weak innocents with no free will or resolve, in reality they are grossly entitled adulterers & irresponsible & uncaring fathers who generally love-bomb younger women with low-esteem only to use & betray them also.

Someday the shoe may be ( will!) on the other foot regarding your cousin; then you can sit back and laugh.

Once again, woman deserves humiliation and heartbreak, man deserves more sex.

Seems that there are indeed occasions when a cheating man and a devastated woman are hilariously funny, so why not just laugh about it the first time? His innate shittiness apparently doesn't deserve anything but more illicit sex and all either woman has done is fall for his charm and lies one way or another.

By the way, why is everyone so certain that Married Man Mark II will cheat on the daughter? Her father didn't cheat after remarrying and even OP describes the marriage as "very long and happy".

On the basis that self-righteous on MN but not actually saying anything in real life achieves very little: YABU.

He deserves an STD and will most likely get one if he keeps screwing around.

Aunt and Cousin also deserve what they get.

The original wives are the victims here not the sleazy men and the gullible idiots that fall for their bullshit.

Had to press you for what he deserves, and you didn't need to wait for him to get an STD before delighting in the idea of him having more sex.

No encouragement needed to hear what the women deserve to get. Even though one of them isn't even the OW of this story. Did you notice that she got a long and happy marriage?

And I wouldn't describe a cheated on person as a "gullible idiot", as that door swings both ways.

Whatever the situation it's not as bad as that of our soon-to-be ex-Pm if that helps. But that is a low bar it must be said.

You don’t say if she was the OW?

It not, then meh. I dated a separated man. Divorces take a long time, he was as free as a bird when I met him.

If she was then also meh - the happiest couple I know were borne out of an affair and were both in abusive marriages at the time (not me, for the record). I wouldn’t judge anybody else’s situation. Especially when it comes to marriageZ

@dworky

Actually, behind that engagement is an utter arse of a man who has betrayed his wife, neglected his children & will most likely treat your cousin every bit as appallingly.

where does the OP say that this the case? I was in the same situation except I was a married woman who got engaged to my now-husband. I am not an “utter arse”, I didn’t “betray my (first) husband”, I didn’t “neglect my children” and I’ve never “treated my second husband every bit as appallingly”.

I was in a very unhappy marriage. I tried for over a decade to make it work. We tried counseling. We talked and talked. We tried everything they recommended. It was no good. People make mistakes and I definitely married the wrong man. So shoot me. This isn’t Hollywood where you can just walk out of a marriage on Monday and get a divorce on Tuesday. You need grounds for divorce. There was no adultery in our marriage so that was not an option. There was no unreasonable behaviour, so that also wasn’t an option. So we separated and after 5 years of separation I was ”allowed” to file for divorce. I did try after two years but that requires the “consent” of the other party and he refused to give it as he felt this was confirming his failure. So after five years I could file for divorce without his consent. Do you seriously expect people to remain single and not find happiness with someone else during that period? We had been separated three years when I met my second husband. Only after the divorce was started did we talk about getting married.

What an “utter arse” I am to just want to be happy. Fuck you.

I have zero time, tolerance or patience for men who cheat on their wives and the other woman who says yes to his advances.

The wives are the ones who need the sympathy not Mr Sleaze and Ms Slag.

But I'm not laughing at or mocking someone elses despair though am i. Therefore me being cheated on isn't really a good comparison.
Yes I would roll round on the floor unable to breath through laughing if Mrs gets off on peoples hurt got cheated on. It's no different to what she's doing to someone else and their innocent kids, might I add. Like I say what goes around does tend to come around. Karma's rules not mine.

I have zero time, tolerance or patience for men who cheat on their wives

Then please remember that, without needing to be pulled up on it, next time you're fantasising about how fabulous it would be for them to go on having more cheating sex. Thank you.

Yes I would roll round on the floor unable to breath through laughing if Mrs gets off on peoples hurt got cheated on. It's no different to what she's doing to someone else

If it's no different to what she's doing, then you're no better, are you? Except you don't even know who she is or anything about her.

Well they're not engaged, because legally he isn't free to wed.

''Somebody else's despair''.

Steady on.

I would of course want better for my daughter than a married man, but how is your aunt supposed to react to this announcement? With a moralising shut down? That won't improve her relationship with her daughter.
With sincere congratulations?

Both of those reactions are a bad idea. Some form of humour seems the best response to the announcement that a relative is engaged to a married man.

But seriously, don't imagine that all married women collapse in to despair when the disconnected checked out entitled boring man they were wondering how to divorce has an affair.

Of course they’re engaged. Engagements are intentions to marry, they are not within a legal framework. The fact he isn’t yet divorced makes no difference and statements like ‘they’re not kot engaged’ just sound weird and bitter

Quite. Lovely family.

Why do people think he’s a ‘cheating scumbag’. OP hasn’t clarified

Nice - leave your kids at home whilst you jet off to the Seychelles with your new woman. What a pair of dickheads

The insinuation is there as she said I wanted to stand up to her and say behind your dd's engagement is a woman beside herself with distress (the man has two dc, 5 & 4).

What’s wrong with a married couple having a honeymoon just the two of them?!

That can just be a distressed ex. Doesn’t even begin to imply that the cousin is the OW.

@LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet what about this The reason my aunt found it funny was because she herself pinched another woman's dh. She said 'apple doesn't fall far from the tree'

Literally half the OP suggests affair.