My aunt is laughing that her dd is engaged to a married man...

[BarbaraPickle]

I am so When she told me, it was with a giggle & comedy 'oops'. I wanted to stand up to her and say behind your dd's engagement is a woman beside herself with distress (the man has two dc, 5 & 4). The reason my aunt found it funny was because she herself pinched another woman's dh. She said 'apple doesn't fall far from the tree' & giggled like it was 'naughty'. She justified her own behaviour because my aunt & uncle had a very long & happy marriage until he died. The rest of the family is falling in line behind the new couple. I just feel ick about the whole thing. The divorce is barely underway & they've already chosen a honeymoon in the Seychelles.🙁

Well I hope your aunts husband is shagging another women as type. What goes around comes around. I have no qualms nor do or will I be offering any apologies whatsoever about saying that. What Goes around comes around. I'd say hope the same thing happens to your cousin. However I have no need to hope because it will do. If he's cheating on his wife I guarantee he'll cheat on her and no one will have an ounce of sympathy.

You should mind your own business..

Your aunt sounds vile. But you mention divorce, so we're they separated or did it start with an affair behind her back wile still together? Very different things.

I think the Aunt has found this thread

I got engaged while still 'married' in my defence we had separated 15 years previously just never actually divorced till there was a reason to do so. Things aren't always as black and white - would i deserve to be called a cheat and told karma would get me?

The reason my aunt found it funny was because she herself pinched another woman's dh.

Came after him with a butterfly net and dragged him away kicking and screaming, did she?

Or did the sexually incontinent twat make a decision?

Why is the OW's punishment always being cheated on while the MM's is to cheat again?

As pp have said the circumstances here are important. My DP is still married but has been separated for over 3 years and has had a relationship with someone else before we even met. If we got engaged technically I would be engaged to a married man.

So if you hadn't met someone else would you never have divorced?

Wasn't no longer wanting to be together reason enough to divorce?

Why hasn't he got his affairs (ha ha) in order?

It wasn't a simple divorce so it wasn't worth the effort it took just to be divorced. Still being married had no impact on my life so I didn't see any point till it did have an impact.

Because shes laughing at someone else's despair. If she's not wicked she's clearly tapped and needs looking at quickly

Every. Single. Time. I don't even think they know they're doing it. The misogyny is so ingrained that they really do think women who go with married men deserve for those married men to then cheat on them. They don't think the man deserves any punishment really, his sexual incontinence is just the oxygen around us and deemed morally neutral.

Some people have no moral compass !! I’m sure she will be laughing when he leaves her daughter for the next wife soon !!
I cannot understand how women go that low that they actually agree to a relationship to married men and vice versa

And you're looking forward to doing exactly the same thing yourself, taking pleasure in someone else's distress (before it's even happened). What does that make your character then?

It's his fault. He took benefits from his choice to fuck over his family. Only he could choose to cheat on his wife. You think he never smiled once during the entire process, that was entirely within his power and his alone?

It's always this misogynistic double standard. MM runs off with OW. OW deserves for him to cheat on her and be humiliated and bereft, MM deserves to have yet more illicit sex.

I'm sick of it. How do people not see how anti-woman and hypocritical it is? How do they not see how it enables shitty men to cheat and keep cheating?

I got engaged while still legally married to my ex husband, we’d been separated about three years. We only actually got divorced beginning of this year and we split up end of 2014! We just did it ourselves and sen toff the paperwork, it took ages!

your post sounds like they met while he was still with his wife, is that the case? Or are they separated?

She is engaged to someone going through divorce proceedings

Many women will be in similar positions since many divorces drag out in this country

You're being extremely ott about this

Since you don't question or denigrate it though, I assume you understand exactly why men do it. Presumably, women's reasons aren't THAT different. Especially when they don't have a family to fuck over and he has.

The Aunt shouldn't be sitting there smug and laughing. That's what I'm talking about. Come at me withwhatever points you like but I'm not backing down on this one.

Too damn true.

They also, as per PPs, cannot understand why a woman would have sex she shouldn't really be having. Men's sexual urges are, as you say, oxygen, even when they're being shitty. Women's are a total mystery, even when they don't have a family or spouse to betray and he has.

Women are supposed to care more about a man's family than he does and only they should be punished when he's a complete shit.

Sounds kinda trashy but hey, that's people for you.

Oh please. Nobody has said she's right to laugh about it. You don't get to steer it into something else entirely to make it sound better.

We're asking why you said you hope he goes on enjoying cheating while only the woman suffers. Because she laughed? What, you think he sobbed his way into her bed and remains tormented? And that would make him better, and deserving of further enjoyable sex?

Well I hope that if your partner ever cheats on you that you are supported rather than found wanting and heckled. It's sad really.

Sorry, forgot he was dead so he can't be tormented now. Given they stayed married until his death, though, I'm guessing he wasn't crying over what he'd done that much. Seems pretty likely he smiled at some point.