... wondering about the worst thing done to you by a so called "friend" *Content warning added by MNHQ - just flagging that some of these are quite upsetting*

[PieRSquared]

Waiting in the airport to collect my DD from her flight (seriously delayed!) at the end of a great trip she's had travelling abroad with a close friend of hers.

It brings up some very unpleasant memories for me. The plan was to travel for a few weeks in south east asia with my long term best friend, first time I'd ever travelled there. On the 3rd day of our trip she met someone "special" and went travelling with him instead!! It really caused me a huge amount of trouble and stress, traveling alone there was not easy, a few bad incidents, trying to make some other friends along the way. It was also a bit more expensive not sharing a room, and deciding on some safer/more expensive locations.

We're not in contact any more, but I'm feeling angry and agitated as I write this, and think about it again. No more coffee for me!

Any other bad things done by friends were relatively minor for me thankfully.

My best friend when I was 17 went off with my boyfriend. She didn’t go to the same college as me but I introduced her to my new group of friends and this boy. Anyway long story short - she went off with him. I was very upset and just turned into a bit of a recluse. She told someone she knew I would never speak to her again. We had been friends since we were tiny. I really think it had a very very negative impact on my self esteem that never really recovered.

One night, feeling very much in love, close and in an emotional mood, I stupidly opened up to my long term boyfriend and described how a highly manipulative grocery-shop owner had very slowly groomed me from age 8 to 12, gaining my trust step by step until he had me doing sexual things with him.

A couple of weeks later the boyfriend let it slip that he'd been re-playing what I told him in his head whilst masturbating.

It was the first time in the decades since I was groomed that i had ever told ANYONE, and I never did and never would tell anyone ever again.

Oh no I have another one. After uni I moved in with a friend. She didn’t have money for a deposit so I paid it. She subsequently did a lot of damage - I didn’t know as it was all in her room - she also didn’t pay her half of the council tax. At the end of the contract she went off to live with her boyfriend. I was left with losing all the deposit and because she refused to pay the council tax I ended up paying that as well.

I went on holiday with a group of friends after college. I was sharing a room with my best friend.

The row of apartments had a big shared balcony thing (it was cheap!) and in a few of the other rooms were some guys on a stag weekend.

On the first day she had sex with the stag on the balcony, in broad daylight where everyone could see. Then moved him into our room. She locked me out so I couldn't get my stuff, wouldn't let me in at night and shagged him in my bed. I ended up sleeping on the floor of the other girls room for a week.

It was just a complete transformation from how she had been before, we had been so close for years. Looking back (and being generous) maybe she was in a bad place somehow, and acting that way because of it, but we were only 18 and none of us had the maturity to try and sit down to get to the bottom of it.

We flew home together but sat in separate parts of the plane and I literally never saw her again. She then went round telling people that I was boring and frigid and that she hated me. I moved cities for uni shortly after and just sort of got on with my life, but I've always wondered what the fuck happened.

Friend since 11 years old and into my late teens, when I look back at it now it's like I was in an abusive relationship.

She always had to have a worse life than anyone else. She lied about a cancer scare, a pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage and being sexually assaulted.

She was kicked out of her family home, and stole from everyone who put her up until they kicked her out too.

She was racist, she would introduce me to knew people as 'this is Panda, she fucks black guys'.

But the absolute worst thing she did to me was setting me up to be sexually assaulted. I got very very drunk one night, she put me to sleep in her bed and the last thing I remember hearing is her telling a guy 'you can have sex with her but use a condom'. She then shamed me for it the next day, laughing at me and joking that she had a video of me and this guy. I now understand that she needed me to be so ashamed of that night that I wouldn't speak about it - or the fact she had slept with a friends boyfriend that same night.

It took me getting pregnant with my first child to realise I had to completely cut her off.

@Ladyof2022 I am so sorry. If you were my friend and disclosed that to me I'd offer you nothing but support. Your exes reaction was not normal, he was sick in the head. Most people would not react like that.

Kleptronic I am so sorry this happened to you. Truly have no words. I had an old Friend who used to say in his west country accent " people are arseholes!" Seems he was right by this thread.

I think the hardest thing with lots of these 'friends' is that you never get any closure as you never really understand what went wrong.

I had a best friend when I was 13 and she just decided that she hated me. Still don't really know why. Spread lies about me to the whole class. I ended up moving school.

Still to this day don't know what I did.

That can lead to a lot of self doubt as a teenager and I didn't make any long lasting friends as a teenager. I think I was too scared to get close to anyone.

Just ghosted me. Really close at uni, best mates, she met her DH through me. I think she was jealous. She suddenly stopped texting me (lived at opposite ends of the country after uni) and I honestly thought she had had an accident. Finally got hold of her and she talked about an email she’d sent to me explaining her reasons for going no contact. Except she hadn’t sent this email! I was none the wiser! Eventually she did send the email, accusing me of all sorts. Older and wiser now (must be 20 years ago), I see that she was in the grip of some kind of crisis and likely still is now based on the FB posts I see. Hurt like hell though, almost like a break up, and with no right of reply really. She’d suddenly taken against me and that was that. One of the hardest things was how unbelievable it was - it wasn’t a one sided friendship, we’d both done loads for each other, known each other for years, our families knew each other and then BOOM! Out of the blue, didn’t want to be friends. It was actually very confusing, like having the rug pulled out from under you. I don’t wish her ill but years on, it is still one of the most hurtful things that has happened to me. I’d like to know why 🤷‍♀️

"Some people are arseholes" I meant !

The bestie who was so close,she was almost there at the births of my children

she couldn’t have children due to mental health reasons (looking back it was more than that-she’d just blow at the smallest thing-smashing up the house and beating her mother who thought the sun shone out of her arse)

I turned a blind eye, as 99% of the time she was a bloody good friend

she helped mop up breast milk,she held my hand on the first wee after giving birth,she changed nappies,she bought them their first outfits-etc

something changed when I had no5

shed always got on with my now ex but now they got on reeeaaalllllly well-both loved a drink (looking back they where alcoholics but I couldn’t see this at the time)

they went out one night,got pissed up and shagged (I will bet my last quid,it wasn’t the first time) came back and beat me up

they walked out hand in hand and a long story short,they lasted about 6 weeks-he came snivelling back and she fucked off to London when her mother died-shes tried to get in touch since but I don’t want to know

what I did to deserve that I will never know

Funnily enough an incident with a watch which has affected a friendship I have,

I'd gone for coffee to a friend's house and she was faffing about looking for her watch (we were going out) - couldn't find it in the bedroom, bathroom, hall table - usual suspects. She then started innocently enough - "You can't see my watch anywhere can you?" Obviously I said "No - where did you last have it?" "I've checked everywhere it could be. Are you sure you haven't seen it?' "No" "It's an expensive watch." "Sorry - haven't seen it."

"It's a Rolex"
" Are you SURE you haven't seen it?"
"Those watches are numbered. There's a record of the owner"
etc etc etc

And I was shocked - I though "Bliddy hell! She thinks I've stolen it." I couldn't believe it - I was really hurt and frankly gobsmacked.

This went on for what seemed ages - probably about 10 minutes. Then she put her hand in her pocket - and there was her fluffing watch!

Suddenly it was like the sun came out on her - "Oh , here it is , hahaha Right let's get off then" sort of thing.

We're still friends, but I've never got over that -that she could think that I would steal from her. Not sure what she would have done if it hadn't turned up - made me empty my handbag and check my pockets? Who knows?

Honestly I despair at people. How can you forget you're supposed to keep an animal alive??

During the first lockdown April-May 2020.

Came home to find my 40-yr-old female lodger - who was also a close friend - sobbing her heart out, red-eyed, hardly able to speak. I comforted and cossetted her, till she was able to explain what had happened.

As I doled out tea and sympathy she told me that she had just heard that her 7-yr-old goddaughter had been killed by a hit-and-run driver. She was inconsolable and burst into uncontrollable sobbing again and again.

The child and her mother still lived in the village in which my friend had grown up.

I comforted her and supported her over the next few days, and put my own work aside to spend a lot of time online on her behalf trying to work out what the lockdown laws were in relation to her travelling 100 miles to comfort the child's mother (a single mum living alone with no other kids) and stay with her for a week to support her through the funeral and for a few days afterwards. I looked up various possible train and bus journeys, how to get the cheapest ticket, and what lockdown requirements were in relation to travel and funerals and staying in someone else's house and "bubbles" and her unwillingness to wear a mask because of her asthma.

Then she came to me again sobbing hysterically -- the driver had been caught and it was a man she and the bereaved mum went to school with. He'd been arrested for causing death by dangerous driving. His wife and kids were horrified.

She told my other lodger all about it and he offered a shoulder to cry on and lots of sympathy and attention, asking her daily for over a week how she was feeling etc.

I found the experience of consoling and supporting my lodger daily for about ten days through all this until she left, mentally and emotionally draining, saying all the right things without just saying the same things over and over. Struggling to find any words of comfort or consolation. I too was affected by the horrible way the poor little child had died and how awful the driver's wife must feel and her poor kids seeing their dad go to jail.

Long story short - there was no godchild. There was no death. She simply fancied going to see an old schoolmate back in her home village for a few days and wanted me to approve the trip - which was illegal during lockdown - to work out how she could get away with breaking lockdown laws and to plan her train and bus journeys for her.

Needless to say, she no longer lives with me and we are no longer on speaking terms.

Oh dammit I did not mean to strike through those words! Sorry, I just typed two lines, like - and - again and this site struck through my words!

Not nearly as bad as some on here, but a ‘friend’ spread it around that I was anorexic. She based it on the fact that I was a small size 10 and had declined biscuits at her house. They were probably custard creams, which I don’t like, and in any case at the time I was happy with a fag with my coffee.

It was months before I found out what she’d been saying - I was literally speechless when someone else told me.
The so-called friend was the sort of person who’s permanently a stone or two overweight, and permanently on the sort of diet they never stick to.

It was decades ago though - nobody would ever think now that I might be anorexic!

Trying again!

During the first lockdown April-May 2020.

Came home to find my 40-yr-old female lodger who was also a close friend sobbing her heart out, red-eyed, hardly able to speak. I comforted and cossetted her, till she was able to explain what had happened.

As I doled out tea and sympathy she told me that she had just heard that her 7-yr-old goddaughter had been killed by a hit-and-run driver. She was inconsolable and burst into uncontrollable sobbing again and again.
The child and her mother still lived in the village in which my friend had grown up.

I comforted her and supported her over the next few days, and put my own work aside to spend a lot of time online on her behalf trying to work out what the lockdown laws were in relation to her travelling 100 miles to comfort the child's mother (a single mum living alone with no other kids) and stay with her for a week to support her through the funeral and for a few days afterwards. I looked up various possible train and bus journeys, how to get the cheapest ticket, and what lockdown requirements were in relation to travel and funerals and staying in someone else's house and "bubbles" and her unwillingness to wear a mask because of her asthma.

Then she came to me again sobbing hysterically -- the driver had been caught and it was a man she and the bereaved mum went to school with. He'd been arrested for causing death by dangerous driving. His wife and kids were horrified.

She told my other lodger all about it and he offered a shoulder to cry on and lots of sympathy and attention, asking her daily for over a week how she was feeling etc.

I found the experience of consoling and supporting my lodger daily for about ten days through all this until she left, mentally and emotionally draining, saying all the right things without just saying the same things over and over. Struggling to find any words of comfort or consolation. I too was affected by the horrible way the poor little child had died and how awful the driver's wife must feel and her poor kids seeing their dad go to jail.

Long story short there was no godchild. There was no death. She simply fancied going to see an old schoolmate back in her home village for a few days and wanted me to approve the trip which was illegal during lockdown -- to work out how she could get away with breaking lockdown laws and to plan her train and bus journeys for her.

Needless to say, she no longer lives with me and we are no longer on speaking terms.

Exactly like yours OP, I went on holiday with a friend aged 18, I'm now in my 50s. She had a long term boyfriend and she was the school swot.
Once there she turned into a wild party animal. She left me alone in a nightclub, just disappeared, and I was so worried she'd been abducted.
I couldn't find security or police so decided to walk back to our hotel to see if she was there.
I hot followed by a gang of local men on mopeds and was absolutely terrified.
That's when a lovely Dutch boy with perfect English turned up from nowhere, shouted at the locals to leave me alone and volunteered to walk me back to the hotel safely.
Once there he pulled out a knife and raped me.
In the morning she showed up without a care in the world, she'd gone back to some apartment and had sex with 2 men. I told her what had happened and she then told everyone we knew that I asked for it.
I had some justice once home, in that she failed all her exams and didn't get her uni place, whilst I did really well and aced mine. She married her existing boyfriend at 19 and divorced him at 22.

When I was a teenager I was sexually assaulted by a guy in our circle of friends. I confided in my female best friend and next thing I know it’s around the school. The majority took the guy’s side, started some hideous rumours about me, and completely blanked me. I even had to switch some classes because I couldn’t be in the same room as some of them.

*Invited me to sleep over and had arranged everything.

Got to her house and had a lovely evening, then her dad came home and it was clear she hadn't asked him if I could sleep over, he had no idea and she didn't even ask him if I could stay. Just said oh Allenstein will be off in a bit just watching a film.

She then gaslight the entire situation and pretended as if I was always going home at the end of the night even to me(despite turning up with an overnight bag and pillow!)

I was shown the door at 01:00 and had to walk 3 miles in the dark, alone, as a 17 year old to town to get a bus back to where I lived

I called my dad who was furious, he doesn't drive so had to meet me in my hometown off the bus, but I still had to walk a lot on my own, through areas with no street lighting, on a Friday evening so loads of drunk people staggering about falling out of bars etc.

Felt so unsafe, didn't speak to her again. But my dad did meet me off the bus with a McDonald's and a big hug so ended alright!

I find it strange as her dad seemed quite nice so didn't understand why she didn't at least ask if I could stay when he came home but alas*

I thought you were both 13 here;seems odd to have sleep overs or having to 'ask' her dad at 17. You were pretty much adults.

Not just one friend but a friendship group. Super tight at college, roomed together, house shared together 6 of us. After graduation we all ended up in the same big city and one guy bought a house with the help of his parents, so we all moved in and rented from him.

still very close. Then I came out. And they cut me dead. It took me a few months to realise that they were going to events without me, parties or nights out. Then a holiday.
I moved out. And that was that.

someone a work, lovely older gay woman, offered me a room and looked after me, took me out til I found new friends and a girlfriend.

i’ve seen a few round about at mutual friends weddings and we don’t talk about it. It was 20 odd years ago and sometimes I get the impression that they’re a bit embarrassed about their reaction.

Had a friend that was really confident with women. Would sleep with one after another. Always generally getting in to trouble when we were younger. Somehow I managed to date the prettiest girl in school. We split up but got together at 18 again after I'd had a brief spell in a young offenders unit. I got my life together served an apprenticeship we settled down and had one child. My friend was always trying to get me out and back in to bad ways. However I stuck to my resolve, after our second child was born he showed up again, visiting in the daytime when I was at work. Didn't think much of it but 3 years later when he was long gone serving time in a Spanish prison, my partner explained she was feeling a bit down and they started 'something'. Never got to the truth of it, I hated him then as I do now!

We'd been friends in junior school and were "horse mad" back then (mid to late 60s) so used to hang out a lot at fields and stables where there were horses.

We moved up to secondary school and I still thought we were good friends. In the second year, she seemed to go a bit boy mad and she was having a party at home but I wasn't invited. Another girl told me that she said I wasn't invited "as no boy would want to go with me"!

We were 13!

She then went round telling people that I was boring and frigid and that she hated me. I moved cities for uni shortly after and just sort of got on with my life, but I've always wondered what the fuck happened

nothing happened, she just showed you who she really was. You never can truly know people and sometimes it can take years or just 1 event to show you who they really are and what you mean to them.