Girl tried to pull down my son’s shorts

[dontwanttooverreact]

My son is 4 and he went to a 3 hour camp at our sport’s club today. He had been yesterday with a school friend and today with the same friend. After pick up today he told us that a 10 year old girl had tried to pull down his pants and shorts “to see if he was a girl or a boy”.

he is upset, this was his first experience of camp and he is quite shy. Additionally the school friend independently told her mother the exact same story so i believe it (I believed it anyway but you never know with 4 year olds and details.

he told the supervisor who apparently said something to the girl but no one told us at pick up.

AIBU to be furious? I had assumed initially the girl was also 4/5, but 10?!? Surely that’s not on? What, if anything, can I do?

[Title edited by MNQ at poster's request]

But they didn’t see? And it’s very easy not to see as you can’t possible see/hear anything.
I think you are being unreasonable.

but some schools have 400+ children 4-11 mixing on the playground and some have days where the whole school mix even if they don’t normally. If your child has a mixed playground day I would suggest keeping him off or saying he needs to be kept in doors.

“Some schools” might, but my son’s doesn’t, which is part of the reason I picked it. Wanting my child to be supervised well doesn’t make me a pearl clutcher or laughable, it’s pretty reasonable and plenty of people agree. And if for some reason he came home from school and someone aged 10 had tried to pull down his shorts I would be very angry and upset about it and discuss it with the school.

i am a pretty laid back parent - a girl in preschool flashed her privates at my son and that was utterly different because she was also 4 so really didn’t know any better. The preschool obviously changed their system for going to the toilet as well based on this (my son wasn’t the only person she did this to, so more supervision was required).

As another update I’ve just received an excellent email from the head of the club explaining that pre-covid the age range 4-10 was split into younger and older children, and that they will be holding meetings with staff to discuss how to avoid this, and will probably also raise the entry age of the club to 5 as they have experienced this summer that 4 is probably a bit young.

they seem to be taking this seriously (to the extent it needs to be) so I feel good about that and can draw a line under it!

That's a very odd school indeed

It’s rated outstanding and one of the best school and most popular in the area so not it’s not odd, you are odd for thinking it.

I'm not odd at all. It may well be outstanding. But it's odd for a school to have a shared playground like that. You're odd for not realising that is not the norm 😉

Odd reason to pick a school 🤨😳. You are being unreasonable and the people that agree with you and also being unreasonable but please you can draw a line under it and move on.

You are odd and it is the normal for schools to have shared playgrounds. Why would I be odd for thinking kids can share a playground? It’s very much normal and you are an odd ball 😉

You carry on being wrong. It's not even normal to have an age range that big at high schools let alone infant schools.

(just to let you know, there are more words to use out there. Odd is just one 👍😉)

I’m not wrong and it’s a fact that it is common and happens in a lot of schools. So it is very normal.

That's good. Has the 10 year old been punished/excluded?

I don’t want anyone crying if I call the worse than odd as most on her are over sensitive 😉

@AllThingsServeTheBeam

What do you mean by it not being normal having such a wide age range even at secondary school?

Are you not aware standard primary school ages are 4/5-11

There is every chance a primary school child of 5 will interact with children 10+ when at school

On the playground, on sports day, at events, walking the halls, heck in many schools older classes often 'volunteer' to read to the younger ones around world book day

Oh but you are. It is not the norm to have age ranges that big on playgrounds. I have worked at many and with many schools up and down the county and the only mixed age ranges that go over around 2 years are little village primary schools that only have about 30 kids total.

Don't let facts get in the way though

On the bloody playground. At break times. I don't mean children never come into contact with kids older than them

@AllThingsServeTheBeam that's exactly what the OP is worried about though

Any form of interaction, as you never know what an older child might say in earshot of her darling boy

oh but Im not as it is very normal to have that age range on the playground and not sure why it offends you so much. I have also worked in many schools all over the country and many are mixed and that is a fact. So yes follow your own advice and don’t let facts get in the way.

That is not what I've got from the op at all

Ah they do normally put year 5 and 6 as buddy’s for reception don’t they, can’t believe I forgot about that. OP won’t sleep on a night when she finds this out.

Offends me? Don't be soft. I'm just trying to correct someone who is wrong that's all.

Where have I said that didn't happen? A couple of sensible year 6s reading with younger kids isn't the whole school playing on the same playground is it?

@AllThingsServeTheBeam the OP was upset an older child had told her son something she didn't agree with.

She was then reminded that at school he will be mixing with older children who might also tell him things she doesn't like

She got funny about that and claimed wanting them to be closely supervised wasn't being a Pearl clutcher, and in this camp if they were more closely supervised a child wouldn't have been able to tell her son if he wanted to be a girl his Willy would be cut off

At primary school no child is so closely monitored that even a 6 line sentence could be prevented

If she is up tight about a child telling her son something she has a lot to learn at primary.

It’s does offend you as you are choosing to argue about a fact and even if I was wrong why does it bother you so much? Many schools have mixed playgrounds even if you don’t like it or agree.