He deconstructed my knitting pile.

[MappyDappy]

I am sure I am not being unreasonable here. But here goes.

My partner does a hobby which involves him being out late alot. I asked him a few nights ago if he could skip one so as to spend some more time with him.

He wasnt happy and expressed that I had my hobby that I do every night! (Knitting) but I do this in house. I don't go out to any groups etc. He stayed home. We watched a movie. All good. Went to bed.

Got up this morning and my entire knitting pile (was knitting a cardi and socks for a friend) had been unwound and was sitting in neat balls of wool! I'm absolutely astounded. AIBU to think there is no need for this behaviour for the sake of a night off.

Gobsmackingly vindictive behaviour.

I was pleased to read your update re chucking him out. Don't stoop to his level by tampering with any more of his property.

Your strength in acting so decisively is as impressive as his coldly calculated 'punishment' of you is shocking.

I think I’d make match sticks out of that guitar.

What a petty, pathetic man. Well done you.

He doesn't love you. In fact, he doesn't even like you very much.

Well done, that is beyond unhinged. Locks first, then take the bags.

If the timings work, I would change the locks first, OP, then drop his belongings at work. Just to be safe. He's still at (extreme) passive agression, but could escalate to physical violence.

I like this!

I literally read it wrong and thought you said your DC and I was still going to say it’s unacceptable!!

FWIW I think you were very selfish and wrong to tell him not to do your hobby but still do your own.

But it would make me have a conversation about how unfair it was, went out to do my hobby anyway or re-think the relationship.

Destroying your knitting is just petty and childish and frankly ridiculous.

As a fellow knitter, this hurt to read. I wouldn’t put up with that! Red flags! Run!!

If he has done other controlling behaviour like this, please consider if you should 101 report any emotional abuse or coercive controlling behaviour to the police.

He sounds like a controlling man who may try to punish you for removing him from your life, you may want support.

Do read this website to check whether he is a domestic abuser as they can advise and offer support

www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/

That's unbelievable. I'm astonished that a grown man would do that.

It sounds like a silly little thing, but it isn't. For him to have sat there for quite a while to undo your work and roll it back into balls is just mad. The idea of a grown man sitting doing that, all the while probably telling himself how brilliant and idea it was and how much you deserve it for asking him to spend time at home... it is proper unhinged behaviour.

Good on you for kicking him out. Psycho man.

Yes I have so far untuned his guitar, hidden the picks and thrown his music in the outdoor compost bin and am currently packing his bags whilst he has gone to work. It's my house thank god. He's gone.

Sorry missed this post.

I now think you’re both very childish and petty.

Are you going to keep updating the thread with how he’s got you back for throwing his music out and now you need a way to get back at him?

I think you both need to grow up and if this is a glimpse of what your relationship is normally like then I think you should have broken up a long time ago.

Somethings telling me this separation won’t be permanent though.

Had you been working on your projects long before he unravelled them?

You might want to buy a wool winder as if the balls aren’t wound well enough you can get knots and tangles.

This is unbelievably malicious and destructive. This man clearly has no respect for you.

I'm glad to see that you are chucking him out. That is the right thing to do. What a prize arsewipe he is.

I agree with others, get your locks changed before dropping his stuff off. Make sure you and your house are safe before letting him know he’s dumped. If he acts like that when he’s calm imagine what he could do after being publicly embarrassed at work.

What an absolute bellend.

im absolutely cheering at your last two updates.

I’d have removed the guitar strings, coiled them up neatly and placed in a little sandwich bag for him.

Well done OP, you are well rid. Great to see decisiveness. Agree that you should try to keep the higher ground if you can by not tampering with his stuff. Otherwise it just becomes a tit for tat.

Good luck ! And yes change the locks before letting him know. Never look back.

It sounds like controlling behaviour.

In the great scheme of things it isn't a big deal but to you it is.

Well done.
You missed out unpicking his socks!

He undid your knitting 😵 unforgivable!

And I thought this thread would just be a lighthearted he’s messed up my knitting pile… what an absolute abusive psycho…

if you want to mess up his guitar so it inconveniences him, rather than destroys it, if it’s an acoustic cut the strings off, then push out the bridge pins and throw them away. if electric get a little screwdriver and turn every single screw on the bridge saddles and pick ups, to ruin the set up, and cut the strings off of course.

absolutely well done for chucking him out, that sort of behavior is worrying. It’s like something off a creepy film.

I would just send all his stuff back OP

Rise above it

Feign innocence on the music if you can't rescue it as he could ask police to look at you destroying his stuff - so get rid of evidence.

Whilst it is tempting, it's never a good idea to play with fire and retaliate with someone else's belongings of a person that vindictive. I packed up my exHs suitcase and put in takeaway menus happily as I was just relieved he agreed to move out. DCs and I waved him good bye 👋

Change the locks to your outside doors as soon as you can. It cost me £100 to have locksmith change my front door and fit deadlock. It was done within 30mins, and he came out within a couple hours.

Call police if he turns up and tell them he's controlling abusive and destroyed your belongings whilst you were sleeping- so you have returned all his stuff that he left behind to him.

If possible, please have someone with you when he is due to come home from work. Change the locks absolutely, but also have someone in the house. There is no telling what lengths this psychopath will go to

I've only read the OP's posts, but very well done on getting rid of your nasty cocklodging 'musician', just watch out everyone, there's another one on the loose with his melancholy tunes!