I am so sorry It’s taken me until now to return to my thread! Weekend was very busy unexpectedly. I will try to respond to points made and I apologise if there’s any substituted ones!
@Pinkspice that sounds infuriating! Towels are one thing I could do with more of actually. I often dye ones that are just losing their colour a little, but Dylon seems to have gone downhill (as do so many things, I find!) since they ‘improved’ their formula.
That is a good ‘mantra’ @Trying20 I am going to try to use that. Ask myself before I open some new make up or product ‘would this be better suited to a different day/time/event’ and if not, I will just use it. I will try anyway!
I haven’t opened any nice wine etc yet but I DID use a Burberry eyeshadow palette I had for a birthday a while ago! It's in such a cute box and pouch but I needed one of its colours. I would have ordinarily just gone without until I could pick up a cheaper one!
@IAmAWarrior yes that’s another point. I feel a bit guilty that, some people would love this stuff and here I am wasting it. ☹
@Kiitos I did that as a child too. I didn’t want to ‘ruin’ cute soaps so I didn’t use them. I never wanted for anything, although I wasn’t well off, I wasn’t deprived by any stretch. I don’t know why I did that. But It’s clearly a developmental habit that has formed into a lifetime one. I am definitely going to ty to reframe it, and switch my guilt to ‘I MUST use that lovely X that Y bought me!’
It does seem such a common habit
That’s sad @SomePosters and I can see why it was hurtful. I hope I don’t hurt people but I really must
@NeverDropYourMooncup yes, I was. I feel like I was always breaking things as a child. I was clumsy (perhaps still am) and anything delicate I’d not dare touch. I’d not be allowed near anything ‘special’ often.
I lost a family heirloom aged about 3 (a precious ring that I realise a ‘baby’ shouldn’t have been allowed to wear to go out in, at all)! I always felt very guilty for breaking things. Perhaps other more fundamental things also occurred that I don’t remember. I wanted to open some chocolates before Easter once and was told no because ‘it would spoil it’ (it wasn’t an easter egg)! I do remember that and thinking how silly it was, but I also remember the following Easter when I’d been bought an Easter egg and (the same family member!) was intrigued by the contents and nagged and NAGGED for me to open it! I really didn’t want to. Odd.
Thank you @QueSyrahSyrah
I will definitely be doing that. I’ve got piles of things in almost every room as well as things ‘on show’ that look nice.
I will start to go through them all. I may try to dedicate a special few hours for it. I might need longer! I live alone in a smallish house and I may feel a lot better once things are more organised and I know what I've got.
@FinallyHere that’s what I did with the body lotion. Not particularly luxurious but my absolute favuorite, that I opened 😊 that is sad about MIL/DM ☹
@sheepandcaravan perhaps that is my issue too. I am thinking if I figure out exactly WHY, I can work on it and the habit may be much easier to break for good. I am sorry you struggle with it too.
@CoodleMoodle that does ring quite true actually. I was an 80s baby, child in the 90s obviously and yes, things were more cosseted as they were more expensive I suppose.
@ScoobyDoNot I hope you’re okay now! Yes, I can see why you’d be much more open to using things now too.
@EmergencyHepNeeded (that username is intriguing!) very true, and seems to be a bit of a consensus. I think I may find it helpful to think that way.
@Amigobay where do you think it comes from with you?
@ChallengeSep -this is what I am asking myself. I have
not come up with anything yet. Therapists are notorious for being able to help others but rubbish at helping themselves.. I am determined to get to the bottom of it, but I think a starting point is feeling undeserving. Overwhelmed that someone would think I deserve something luxurious/beautiful/expensive-why do they think so highly of me? Humbled I suppose?
@Cognacsoft I like this ‘What's a broken glass really?’ a lot 😊
It is a very interesting topic I realise, now I've seen so many similar tales on this thread. Why are people like this, It’s sad but yes, interesting too.
@needthezzzzz thank you for your input. I am glad things have changed for you, gives me hope!
@Herecomestreble1 guess yes, knowing I have a lot of lovely things on display at home does bring me joy, when I look at them. But some of the things just aren’t display worthy-and that’s more of an issue isn’t it. Nobody displays a gift set or a make up product, no matter how luxurious it may be or how much it cost. That’s where I will start definitely. I feel bad that I don’t even know what I’ve got with some of those types of things!
I've also got OTHER people’s gift sets/make up etc. My friend’s girlfriend gets them for xmas a lot but doesn’t use any beauty products and wears very minimal make-up. She gives them to me each xmas/birthday in return for me buying her a couple of bottles of prosecco when we next meet! I take them but don’t use them. … Or seldom do anyway… I am a weirdo, aren’t I! 
@BitOutOfPractice thank you, and yes, it does help, although I don’t know you, as I wouldn’t like to feel the same if it was the other way around either.
@ChocolateHelps thank you, I will. 😊
@MrsClatterbuck that’s sad too ☹
@Lakeyloo more enjoyment in drinking it than looking at it! Definitely! I am not very creative but I will see what can be done with the nicer
bottles 😊
@Hippywannabe so many sad stories, thank you for sharing. It’s a very good point, we’re not promised tomorrow are we. I am sorry for your loss ☹
@Mummyoflittledragon I hear you on that. With clothes.
My partner is helping as she’s very ‘proud’ and wouldn’t dream of wearing anything with even a tiny blemish to it, and ‘tells me off’ if I do. I do wear new things to go out, but I keep old ones. I very rarely buy myself new, but she buys me a lot of clothing as presents and is quite pushy about having me wear them (not in a nasty way but a positive one). I am glad you're managing to work on it for yourself and haven’t projected the habit onto your DD 😊
@CamoTeaLaLa t is a nice thread, and I am very glad I started it. It is definitely very helpful.I am glad It’s served as an inspiration to others too.
@Elleherd very similar to me. Definitely felt like possessions were more important than me at times, growing up. I was a speak when spoken to child with my Dad, definitely. Felt like a secondary member of the family (If that) although my mum was great, she wasn’t around a lot (worked very hard). I am also afraid of forgetting good memories. If I wasn’t busy, I’d probably write every joyous moment down (I do sometimes, and used to more often). Definitely food for thought, and I am sorry to hear about your circumstances. I hope you’re healing.
@FloozingThePlot no, not poor or miserly really. My parents weren’t well off then, but they’re very well off now. My dad is a bit of a spendthrift and my Mum is more careful but very generous. It’s a bit of a fog, why I am like this, honestly. I’d LOVE to have a lightbulb moment about it but haven’t as yet
@Cinemaandsweets s it is confusing isn’t it? As a therapist I have learned how nature and nurture both have an impact on why we become the way we are. Every time I address this with someone, they assume I was brought up in poverty and I wasn’t. My Mum was, but she’s never been like this at all. Even as a child-we have discussed it, she’d embrace anything given use it an enjoy it. But she is a much more ‘logical’ and pragmatic person than me.
@CentralPerk18 your Grandmother sounds amazing! I am glad it has been an interesting read for you. It’s common isn’t it!?
@Bernadinetta
thank you for sourcing that poem. I kind of want it on my wall!
I will come back to the thread soon and respond to more. So much to think about. I hope It's helped others.